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Moving from an outdated physical disease model of mental illness to a more relational mental health practice
Moving from an outdated physical disease model of mental illness to a more relational mental health practice
1,415 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1201 – 1400 of 1415 Newer› Newest»When I am thinking to her I feel colic deep and painfully and I become vomiting. I know her death like an accident caused by me. She came after serious illness and surgery into my lap and gave me a joy that I couldn't believe. It became part of my Grand Unified Theory about mind. She had mind and she could talk with it to me. After her death she came to me two or three times, in a state of transcendence. First time she told me, "You lost angels!" It is a small moment of time that I have recaptured after twenty years fight with "Ahriman." In certain situation when I am reading deeply or watching TV or thinking mathematics that thing that induces lucid out of context dreams to me is so engaged with chasing the other flow that cannot abruptly switch to grip my dream. In such situations if I go to a sleep for a fraction of a second, just eyelids closed and open I see unpolluted dream of my own, and they are so transcending, and I immediately wake-up to listen to that all the time commenting machine. It was next day after her death and I was in front of TV and I had muted TV in commercials period and out of her bereavement I was sadly sunk in the seat. I heard her little tiny voice said that to me and when I came back immediately, a silent half face close up of the actor was on the screen. My mind immediately tried to adjust the words with some earthly words but I couldn’t have mistaken it. She said, “You lost angles!”
Carlo DJ
It remained one point. They say that a pet is animal and humans should be in charge of decision for them and hence, in cold blood they killed my cat. It was just an animal. Who should care? It is wrong. That animal had a picture of a human in my sole. In essence, she was a human like me. She had taken one piece of my soul and had dressed her inside that. This is meta-physics. Messiah does not give money and power to people or solve difficult equation. It tells you what is going on there at the bottom, behind all the curtains. She, like Shelah's camel is a pillar to the roof of forbidden trespass. If you take it, that roof falls. Nobody can help it.
Carlo DJ
I couldn't understand why an almighty being should intervene in affairs of a Bedouin village, and consequently slog a piece of sky onto their humble village?
Yanis
I thought you were blown for good. You always ask, "Why almighty does this, why almighty does that?" God set one humble easy rule for the game of children. That is all. You should not trespass that rule; only that rule. Moses asked people not to work on Saturdays and relax themselves a bit. They noticed that on Saturdays fishes (should be fish?) come in the lagune (lagoon). They decided to block their escape way back to the sea on Saturdays and net them during the weekdays. Moses punished them. Now for three thousand years people who believe Moses was sane and those people were insane should toil themselves with some rituals in weekends to remember that simple transgression. That includes Jews and Christians and Moslems all. Fishes are not just animal. They know they have been harboured by Moses or God or Global mind of compassionate human being who seek survival in altruism.
Carlo DJ
Now, it is a couple of years I want to write this. Perhaps more. God or Messiah does not intervene in any affair of any village. If people rape their mother and kill her God do not intervene. You can see that after a prophet everything falls in the hands of priests and most of the time they act as a king or a general or a moral entrepreneur or a businessman and similar types. And they know what to do, how to justify things. They study logic, philosophy, and jurisprudence and live in a valid status. They might engage in rebel, war peace and negotiation. You see an exception. The prophet of my native people engaged with daily affairs of leading a society. It was a miracle of his personality. Moses also could run a country. Jesus also could run a country and Messiah in our time can run a country. That, I do not attract the search engines here, had to set legislations for his own society. He told Messiah that they are not global rules for testing children. Global rules are simple and look as a game. They are like a joke and easy to obey. It is not guerrilla warfare. Those rules he set in his earthly life in his society were for adult people with usual interests. They are related to women and heritage and divorce and slaves and money and waging war and drinking. He himself was not of fabric of such matters. He was just like Messiah, just like Moses very shy, just like Jesus very timid and polite.
Messiah tells you, “You shall not read the mind!”
Carlo DJ
He told his people that so far you have been living in villages and were not adult. You passed the game rule of the God. You did an easy selection. You are not (just like my country) people belonging to clans. This place of yours is the same village before I come here. Look you have not built pyramids or Parthenon or anything. These are a bunch of adobes as before but now you happily can call it "Civilization." Hence, he changed the name of that village to "Civilization." (Still has that name.) You are not member of clans anymore. You belong to a Global Nation. (Still they use the same name.)
Carlo DJ
Now if you separate those parts of his worldly legislations in his book from what he has brought then what remains? It remains only two sentences repeated "God is gracious; Satan is your enemy."
Carlo DJ
Treating of a mentally ill person from an undeveloped country and give him the opportunity of living in a modern society under the highest standard of care is not altruism?
Yanis
It is not altruism. It is only to gain power not over the nature not the power over disease -if any- to gain power over legitimate and natural freedom of other humans. It is Satanism. Sometimes words are so much eroded and abused and covered with mud and moulds and calcinations that you can recover their intended meanings and reference by no means. You have to abandon them where they are. You should coin new words. Alternatively, you have to repeat and repeat what you mean by them. Satan means a being that is enemy of human and plots to defeat human. Then they say that the humble member of congress of say America who is after scrounging few million dollars from people is Satan and they have seen him that has covered his one eye on his forehead with a hair piece. Satan is enemy of human in the sense that when you turn to become face to face with him he turns concisely with you such that you go back to the same position. It takes down where you came from. See, you have come seven million years to here. You only see the last two hundred years that a horse drawn cart has been converted to space shuttle. You can go to zoo and see your cousin any primate there then see what is the meaning of seven million years. What will happen if seven million years more passes? Compare it with these two hundred years. Can you keep any of those primates safely for seven million years? Then they can build space shuttles and what about humans. Are we too old and we are hopeless of living much more and counting down our years and days to surrender to an inevitable and not much far death without having left any children behind to remember us?
Carlo DJ
So there is a test for human. If he recognizes the simple rule of the game he becomes adult. Otherwise he remains a child. If he breaks the rule a piece of sky will fall on his head. The rule is this: "You should not know what is the rule." You never shall not say "I know!" If you said I know you have blown the game and you are out back down there next to your cousin in the zoo, like Herr Sinclair of Hermann Hesse not like his Augustus, Yanis.
Carlo DJ
This is for what you pretended to be altruism. Hence, they trafficked me here to exercise using power. Idea of WHO and even many traditional psychiatrists is that the care for mental illness is better in undeveloped world than industrialised societies in term of environmental support. Part of the cheating is that the people who were around me believed it is what they think about the care. They used their empathic attitude to cheat them. They believed I would continue living free as I was living there with my family life, and career untouched and no physical intrusion or serious harassment happens and more over I will be "cured" from something unknown to them. If with some higher rate you can be seen by a university professor there in my country then lo and behold who might visit you if you can go to capital of Syldavia.
Carlo DJ
Regretfully I cannot explain what has happened to me. They believed it is a type of entreating a person to an ideal, mostly moral ideal, without interfering or hurting anything in his life and it has a definite meaningful result for me within a normal time span and I'll be back to them as if I have been here for tonsillitis. They do not know what has happened to my wife my daughter and me. They do not know we are turned into the slaves of a foreign state.
Carlo DJ
There is something here I have noticed that the medical profession is hateful of a lunatic who shows restlessness and signs of life and hope and alternative ways and signs of assertion and capacity and is not block dead plant in their hands. That detestation becomes extreme when the subject is a "niagara" who is not aware of himself being "niagara."
Carlo DJ
They do not know the relation of psychiatry is not the relation of doctor with a patient. It is relation of institution with inmates involving police and social workers. They do not prank with me and few verbal jokes. They have incarcerated me in the cold, damp weather without access to medication, legal rights, money, proper food and climate of my life style. They have a unified picture of France, Germany, Western Europe and North America as a single entity and picture. They believe I am in a place in their mind as Los Angeles they watch in MTV and Doctor Welby beseech me to visit him and people half naked are walking in streets and I am still thirty-eight years old, climbing rocks.
Carlo DJ
Those people were told that if the social environment were stinging for me then that regulates me to overcome a disease of mind that had corrupted me in "sex" behaviour, just allegation to convince those bearded people and flatter them towards cooperation. Now near sixty I still should overcome those stinging environment without having any sex and additionally I should overcome physical diseases and ailments and hostile climate, without the right of having fresh air and sunshine or looking outside the window. Then who wants to use this model? Even when they take a polar bear to zoo they adjust his climate. I should be more enduring.
Carlo DJ
Hence the truth is there one should elicit them. Perry Mason never asks his clients to be eloquent or social or familiar with law. He gathers elements of truth and asks the right questions that bring out what has happened in the real world regarding that crime under investigation. If the client or witnesses are angry people in their life or have weak points in their social or private life does not matter in the scope of that event. That crime has not been done by the client regardless of the client’s previous biography. This fictional person is important for me from this point. He is a model that does not put the social skills, which are beyond the power of the client to acquire in judgment of the court. He should have that skill. He elicits the truth by asking the right questions related to the case. In Henry Fonda’s Twelve Angry Man we also notice that the biography of the defendant was not related to the case in hand. It is where a sole man with shaking knees stands up against the flood. All of this I say to prove to future that it was not any mental illness –true or false- that put me in my present situation. It was not because I was crazy and did unwise actions or behaved in “anti-social manner” that brought such a fate for me. It was because and only because I was the only person that they could access easily without hurdle. My madness was not related and nothing done to allay it or to keep under control. In contrast, they did everything to elongate it such that any curious investigator becomes convinced that I needed to remain in their hands. Familiar with all abuses that is possible by intervention of psychiatry and creating constructed episodes, not only that I did not improve a bit, conversely as they knew I became more and more symptomatic and cliché of a classic mentally ill. That gradually leaked into my three persons family until the day that nothing remained of my human silhouette inside that family but a whining old shabby ill dog in a corner occasionally able to move around to leak the hands of the other two.
Carlo DJ
You have become Kafka's thing, at last. You said things happened to you regardless of your biography. This is self contradictory. Your biography included you as somebody with no clan accessible by intruders. This is then related to yoour biography. That is, say cause of your mental illness and "they" are treating the "caused."
Yanis
Definitely! Like story of "The Collector." If Miranda was a man, or if she had skill of Bruce Lee or if she would hide in her house and wouldn't go to art galleries and university or was living in Burkina-Faso that man would not abduct her. I mean this. Always have my wife in my mind. What is related to her biography? She was suffered and became sacrificed with no justifiable reason.
One eye of her has been tears and the other eye blood. Mine both were blood and my daughter both tears, during the life.
Carlo DJ
At the beginning many years ago when I mentioned my wife or my daughter become victims for whatever allegations, they answered me that I wanted to exploit them to gain privileges. Though it is correct for a man to mention that since he has dependants he needs help. If he had not he never would ask for job, or money or shelter or medical help, they didn't consider this. Now, it has passed twenty years and whether I exploit that for manoeuvring or genuinely the net result is the same. They have been abused in the worst conditions the net effect on them is not related to my attitude. It has happened in the real world. Even if they become separated from me since now nothing will change the bitterness of experience that they have endured. My wife will never bring children and goes back to extended family that she had and all those intimate fulfilling relations.
Carlo DJ
When she came to my house she was a young pretty woman full of happiness. She never had seen a fight, a shout, a quarrel. I told her I might become angry, but only for couple of minutes and I immediately become calm since I do loads of exercise and religious rituals everyday and I have a punch bag that I beat it every other day and I do not beat women and men and everyday I go out with my shovel on my shoulder in desert and wait if anybody sits I put my shovel under him and sell the material to farmers or I use them for growing vegetables. I started to listen to her and obey her for anything she wished. I didn’t fancy any woman but her. I believed and still believe that she is the most gorgeous woman of the world. Once I was watching Britney Spears and loads of girls dancing with her. I was very attracted. In the middle I turned back to look at her face, I said to me, “Oh my god she is so gorgeous, more than Britney and all her dancers.” And I tapped the wood.
Carlo DJ
I tapped the wood since that vessel and consummate of un-holiness is watching my life. When my wife came to my house I called her kitty in my native language. I never used that term for anybody before. Later when I gradually sank more and more into the trap of deceiver, and I explained already that my wife's mime had become deformed in a Stockholm syndrome way, I remembered my kitty when I was seven. That little thing had come to the world under our winter table. (This, you might have seen in Japan. It is a low table with a heat source inside and covered with duvets and family sleep around it on the floor and if you put your head under it in sleep you will die due to slow burning bricks- you bet we are not tough. My father had separate room with usual bed. He never slept in the same room with my stepmother and us. We all were sleeping in the same room around that table.) Towards the end of winter, in a corner the pregnant cat was sleeping and before the dawn she started to give birth to her children on the duvet- you bet we kill cats because they foul around. Gradually after weeks the kittens opened their eyes and started to move around and I tried to catch them to play with them. All were making scaring spits and scratch and go away but one. She was calm and she became my cat. I tried to feed her and just play with her. She became milder gradually. One day I came back home and who might give me the news, but my younger stepsister that I had shared her milk: the chancellor of my stepmother for sorting me out. She said, “Ah, ‘I know’ you killed your kitten. She is dead there now you should bury her. Yes, ‘I know’ you killed her!” Then I remembered that un-holy voice. Here, I was working in a shop in weekends and few evenings. I was putting things and enjoying arranging things on my way neat and square. There was this can of cat food with two cats on it, one bigger and adult the other younger and smaller. I always thought this is the picture of my two cats, my wife and my daughter, at home. My supervisor used to talk about her cats at home. One day I told her, “See, I buy a can of this for your cats but I take the wrap paper for me, may I?” She thought that might be bribe, twenty-five cents, said, “No, I pay it myself and I give you the wrap.” Then we did that. I put the picture repeated twice in a plastic frame on my bed head table watching them occasionally until we had a real cat. Then I put the frame in the drawer. Now, when they killed the cat, I remembered my stepsister. I became Messianic certain, by dialectic that she had killed the cat to take that joy from me. I become sure that they are killing my wife and my daughter, too. She was a child and Impostor and Ahriman and their subjugated people are children. They have an expensive toy owned all by them and tweak it into destruction. I said that I said to my cat, “I cannot do anything for you my beloved cat. I am sorry. I know they kill you.” And she complained on this page with her little paws typing on the computer keyboard and asked for help. It is something true for my other two. And the voice of “chancellor” is in my ears: “You killed the cat!”
Carlo DJ
In this way you will learn not to blame others for what you have done.
Yanis
This brings the easy question for you. Although, it is not similar to my case at all, still it is enlightening. Assume one is feeble with a weak and perhaps ill heart and by some chance he is passing an arena that criminals are shooting or exploding a bomb, and he dies due to panic and weak heart. Then who is responsible? He is not being killed by direct shrapnel or bullets. He dies out of deafening sound of explosion. Who knows that this is not due to attack of illness coincident with the mayhem?
Carlo DJ
I said that. It is collateral causality, just a descriptive phrase. I was telling about my wife. She has been, similar to me on the course of changing from particle to classic, from foot soldier to general in the rank and file of lunacy. She is a good then she is angry then again sad, then again mad. One minute she is kind and then next minute she was to smash my face with all hatred. She is just behaving like a low qualified mental care assistant in periods. (She is a good nurse in her own qualification, of course.) She is artificially polite and caring and then sad of the life she has spent with me. Then she remembers me in Stockholm syndrome of being abducted and had never had any opportunity to escape. She is the second product of the situation that I was snared in. She is a collateral casualty. I am seeing her; I understand what is the mood swing. I can appreciate how mentally healthy once she was. At the beginning of my delusion or reality twenty years ago I understood that I was abducted to be cured for my mood swing. Now I believe how much I was firm and stable.
Carlo DJ
When I was child and I was at somebody home, being an orphan without any male guardian or any parents, I would become very surprised of a man roaming around the house, coming in and out advising things to family. "Who is that intruder, so rudely behave here?" I used to think about. Now At my own home I have the same feeling about me: "Who am I rudely roaming around; what is my role here?" I am a dead male parent. This is the role I have been given. This is the return of the antiquity lady with [ITS] cane: the snake crippled inside the human body – Ahriman. Where is The Father of All?
Carlo DJ
If she really had been mentally healthy then nothing important happens to her. You should remember that "blue light" people are allowed to hit up to four people when they are on missions without accountability.
Yanis
You remember that it is the idea of children. You haven't seen them on TV? When children are given mission they do it very seriously with too much air. When Messiah comes one sign is that children rule the world. Children who "know" Every year that passes they become younger instead of older until they crave to have beards and shave it until they suck a baby dummy and are standing in queue to go back there.
Carlo DJ
I already talked few words about my daughter. I usually talk more about sufferings of my wife. I become very surprised in the way that world jerks its shoulder up for her role in the story. I never understand why she has been doomed in this way. But for my daughter I believe her dossier is already open and somehow thick. I believe she even has not a real friend and all of them or anybody who approach her are briefed and ready for debut. I said I know things never read or heard from anybody. I have heard them from a voice that according to all theories has not any way to outside world except through my knowledge. The [VOICE] says that she already has got a diagnosis in her dossier, fast cycling. I do not know if we have such a disease. I know from my own experience with attribution of cycling that cycling is the best plot that you can trap people into psychiatric institution. When I was in the hospital of mentally ill people, I saw people who refused food or were fighting and attacking or self harming or jumping up and down. In these cases psychiatrist can tell to people, "You can see that these are in need of help and should be cared." There were calm people around like the teacher who had fainted and brought there voluntarily, and now they didn't let her to go to her family. The best pre-text is to say that she is bipolar. When you are there she is good but when you are not they start mischief, like electrons of professor Heisenberg. And you can create assisted mischief. You can draw legs of people, especially if you are a psychiatrist dealing with lunatics, or a real ruffian who knows how to injure heart of people. The dossier is ready means that they are waiting and longing for any episode. That episode could be anything not an outrage or attack or any of such things. That could be my death, when I cannot help her giving her information or anything.; dossier is ready to become active and she and I cannot help it. They continue bypassing law by saying that she is pre-oriented due to my purported illness that supposedly “everybody” is aware of it and I cannot prove contrary. As she is “niagara” things become very facilitated then both legally and environmentally. As the preparation they are doing useless things with her that done already with me. They sit her waiting for long time. Even when she had A-level exams they would change the other from say nine am to nine thirty. When she had driving test they gave her an appointment for Monday and when she went there she was told they never have a test on Mondays and she should come next week on Tuesday. They arranged such that she couldn’t go to Bambridge University. They even found it a pity that she goes to ELS either. She should not reach to a status that makes it impossible to sacrifice her for satanic rituals. They create situations that make her tense towards fall. They use methods that my stepmother and stepsisters already successfully had used.
Carlo DJ
I already mentioned name of Piaazheh when I was talking about my stylus-ink-pot teacher. All children around twelve at that time knew that if a male teacher talks about Piaazheh they should be alert since he might arrange later for a private meeting. They believed that name is synonym to a foreigner "child-player" as they used to call a child molester. I had forgotten that and I happily was reading any work endorsing him, the half mathematician educationalist. Of course I liked Freudian people most. Freud was bright and has similar role to Einstein and also his school disciples such as K G Jung, E Fromm, and H Marcuse. They are beautiful. If he was alive he could be surprised of my account of satanic ritual of human sacrifice, its relation with phallus, circumcising, menstruation. I have experienced each concept with my flesh and blood. At the beginning and now they arranged for keep me waiting for any nonsense, postponing what I needed. They said those were being done to build conscience for me. (How that vessel of all un-holiness, Ahriman, could preach people to morality? IT is the source of all human miseries.) They referred these things as if Piaazheh had prescribed them. Doing these, particularly, here in this country gives a cover of we-are-doing-grandiose-psychologists-operations-in-society, using my family and me without people become aware of its consequences. For observing people it is a matter of few minutes self-inflating feelings and amusement. For my family and me it means disaster and further misery.
Carlo DJ
In my place and some how occasionally here when people buy things they haggle on the price of goods. If a shop owner be pretentious to religious devotion that facilitate him cheating people swearing to the stack of books or shrine of saints and these things. That pretension is only instrument to their acquiring of paraphernalia of better living and not a sign of real value of those goods. Here, we heard that the impostor said "an old child" as my attribution. This is only to cheat people that under suffering and dishonouring my wife my daughter and not least, me there is a great moral tenet that allows incarceration of a father without medical help, fresh air, sunshine, proper food and fuel. What is the great good of this for humanity except hiding the evil of satanic curiosity?
Carlo DJ
Ah, your blog gets comments! Anyway, I'm definately going to follow this blog. I do have one question, however, and that is, "Do you think psychiatry should be reformed or abolished?"
Did you read that comment?
Yanis
No, I didn't read that. There are other issues related to cognitive behaviourist that I mentioned at very first comments. If there is any way that you could teach somebody to play violin when he hates that and has not time and money to pursue that and has not any violin at all and has arthritis in fingers, by incarcerate him in a damp cold cellar for twenty years then you can find some application for those toms written about gymnastics of cognition. Hence I do not follow this line until much later. I put on paper situation of my family and me. Nobody in future will be that we deserved such a treatment to improve any of our behaviour or disease. People might admit more favourably Nazi’s killing of lunatics than my treatment.
Carlo DJ
I was writing about my wife and disasters she has tolerated in being forced to live with my situation. She came to my house when she was doing access to university in modern languages literature, as part of the foundation courses of that university. I took her to school and back to her parents. She passed the course with the highest marks and accepted to enter the university. She was doing excellent in the university, too. She was such a bright student ignored by her parents. After wedding, it is usual that they do not continue. They say we are now interested in interior design. Then become interested in horticulture and until they become half literate housewives and her parents wanted such thing to happen for my wife. I pushed her and she was doing marvellous. We had to pay much money for university tuitions and buy books from abroad. One day I was waiting for her semester enrolment to be finished. When she came into the car I asked her how many credits she had chosen. She said it was seventeen. I asked her how many she was allowed. She said, “twenty-three.” I said, "Go right now and take all. Don't worry about money. In this country suddenly in the middle of the night everything changes and they might decide to suspend your education. You should finish as soon as you can and then put your certificate relax under your pillow." Next day after her labour she started to read three volumes of a compulsory nonsense that she had to pass as part of the curriculum, and passed them with hundred out of hundred. She was near her graduation that this scheme started on me in its phase three (later I write different phases of the scheme). One night she was waiting in the lobby of school for me to pick her. I came out of my place I had two tyres flat a terra. I replaced one of them, carried it on foot to garage, patched it and then replaced the other. So it became very late with no telephone available (haa haa haa I am laughing) to contact. Meanwhile the security of the building had been instructed by some cash to ask my wife to leave the building since they wanted to close the doors. My wife had to come to wait in the street. A man with a very detesting face had come and for few minutes had told her very dirty words. She cried and cried when I got to her without knowing that how much crying is waiting for him in future of her life with me. I believe that that man-looking-person was actually that mind reader who couldn’t find anybody to do that mission. Gradually they started to harass her. Her perfect marks started to change to sixty six percent and seventy seven percent. Always there were remarks on her paper that, “it should be improved, you can write it better” and such things that made her crying. In her last semester they failed her for one course to finish in September instead of June and should attend summer classes. Since they couldn’t coordinate as sophisticated as here they some how were near to reveal that she actually had passed between two different office of the course. On her summer course in one hot afternoon when she wanted to comeback home she found the car tyres, all of four were flat. A special type of nails were pushed similarly to all four tyres. I removed them and kept them for some time as evidence to show to court of human rights then I lost them like other assets of my life.
Carlo DJ
What my wife could do in such occasions but to cry. I was right when I had encouraged her to finish her degree as soon as she could. We had a plan that she continues to study linguist of that language for MA after she got her BA. When she was doing her course all teachers who were teaching linguistic courses used to teach for English language. They were graduates of US and couldn't adapt the course for German. My wife decided to study postgraduate with linguistic and then start to teach it to undergraduates with German language. Then she could get some bursary from both her institute and some German university and gets her PhD. Meanwhile she would be converted to be another instance of me. Don't judge, Yanis. There is nothing about being martinet. It is what women started to do then in few years later, in that place. It is the safest way of industrialisation, development, liberty, feminism, whatever you might believe; not provoking gangs of murderers as rebels of freedom and creating endless wars of pseudo-revolutions and counter-revolutions and intervention of foreign armies on pre-text of settling peace and more blood-shed. Story is long. Now all her cohort in high school has done similar paths. Then their sons become something like me, instance of me.
Carlo DJ
Entering Master degree in that place needs to pass entrance exam, places were limited, and then a huge tuition fee. With my new situation I had not money even to pay for entrance test fee taken from participants. Her own clothes were patched. We had started to accept used clothes from my stepsisters for my daughter. We had not money for sustenance. Moreover, I couldn't become convinced that I actually will get the correct results of exam. Like killing my cat they could give any result regardless of papers. They could give any question on a separate paper to her. I am not sure that how far these things are possible there. Here, definitely it is possible to make such an arrangements and later I write them. Anyhow, it was my feeling that they might do it. I believe when that vessel of un-holiness, that remote mind reader contact with any human, It shuts down the mind of that human in obedience. We had not any motivation for any enhancement. That [Thing] would scuttle it at the end of the day. So she decided to find a job instead of going to school.
Carlo DJ
Are you telling the truth? Do you have any evidence or just you believed so?
Yanis
You should remember case of honourable Deputy-Sister Linda Bigwood A REVIEW OF 'THE KERR-HASLAM INQUIRY' By Phil Virden. Perpetrators were few ordinary people doing things far from eyes of law and unauthorised. You can see that how much they were successful in ruining the life an individual who was honest and human and believing in the idea that humans are good in their elements and only few are bad. You see they didn't allow her to educate to become a teacher that would give her a status that made it possible to fight them back. I am the promised Messiah. I might repeat things because they are important. In that case they committed murder in a very sly way, without shedding blood. Sure, they were laughing in the court. There was no one there to revenge from them. Victim already had been disappeared from the world. They should be charged with murder not with "constructive dismissal" or such nonsense lip services. They could destroy traces of their destruction from everywhere. What happens if somebody become authorised to do a similar crime. Perhaps, still there is time if you want to investigate. They have done such thing here towards my wife’s education and my daughter’s the same way. I tell you when we get to story in this country. Still, we are in that country. And I do not lie. You can be sure that even I do not exaggerate. I use methods, such as invoking movies, to visualise scenes, but I do not exaggerate. I even understate things to try to keep them within believes of current scientific thinking.
Carlo DJ
My wife had a nice accent of English and a BA in modern languages. I used to tell her that what a good accent she had. She had gone to foreign school from reception age and they were very keen to teach them correct English from little ages for their own agenda, not like us who began from age thirteen in crowded classroom and stories of Mr Brown. So she decided to go and teach English. Immediately she knew someone helpful in her clan (remember she had a clan like other people who support each other in time of need). That lady recommended her to an extracurricular school of English to teach English. Suddenly they had new standards of not accepting the recommendations from their board of directors but to interview with the prospecting individuals. In the interview she was told that she had not a good accent for teaching but if she pays and enrol as a student she might improve. And there was a hope that after few years she might be accepted in interview. She only broke in tears and then we ever forgot to mention her nice accent. Even here it took few years until she got her confidence back. She never could find any job in that country as much she tried. They used to tell her that she should be patient. I was beseeching her to find a job without mentioning its whereabouts to me to prevent that vessel of un-holiness to become aware and scuttle it. That only made her more devastated and more hateful of me because she couldn't understand why.
Carlo DJ
We were harassed until my wife accepted to try to emigrate out of our native country. We could sell properties and eat them until we become completely ripped off; but what after that? We were facing something that had not any thread of being a human to negotiate. It had a presence before us everywhere. We couldn't get it by surprise. My wife found the idea that if she becomes a nurse we can become more mobilised towards Los Angeles. So we could spend a lot of money for her to become nurse after that even if I disappear from the world girls could survive. We had the idea that they have guaranteed jobs for nurses there. She got an admission from Brisbane for nursing and me a paid position for research assistant. I mean I had to pay for the position. Yes, they pay and go there to publish some nonsense useless paper with a foreigner professor in a conference or in a journal and upon return gets credits for their job. It was the only place we could since they had an office to attract students from the gold rush. There was a new gold rush since a big army headed by US had attacked the neighbouring hooligan and only my former country could safely sells the black smelly liquid and additionally accepts rich refugees and being used as a corridor for smuggling things to that country. I say this because jobs and payments had been so much improved and there were many opportunities for me if it was not for this scheme. One was to become local counterpart of Japanese manager of Sony in the region. He in UAE and I in my place, and weekly we should meet. I lost this job just because I believed in the interview that at any moment they would start to annoy me and I had lost that attacking arrogance or confidence that I should have. I was telling some non-necessary truth that one normally is not asked, for example I had a plan to go to some course in the afternoons for the next year. He asked if I had any business in the afternoon. He asked that to check if I was in full Japanese commitment until late nights for company. I believed he had been informed by the unidentified agency that I had a plan to go to the course because of lack of expertise and I revealed my plan. I had the highest mark in technical written exam. I had one mistake that when he wanted to correct it for me inadvertently made the similar mistake we both multiplied a factor instead of adding it. That is a very natural mistake. The salary was beyond any imagination in that date. I was becoming a child more and more everyday until now that I have become a toddler.
Carlo DJ
Now that I got to this point let me tell you something. By cues that I used to catch, I understood that the unidentified agency advise me and I suppose they cheated people that I should have confidence on my own since I believed in courses and books. When it was near some job interviews I used to go to bookshops and buy books related to interests of the company having a look at them and such. In one of those occasions I heard -accompanied with other strong cues that singled me out- that "It is you that must accept yourself as knowledgeable not looking to find books!" Well, these were cheatings to give me feeling that I was being chased by a Dr Phil thing thingies not by Devil. I used to say, "One way to get confidence is to read books and go to classroom of other learned people. Otherwise you are a con man, a confidence man." This takes me a little far from story of my wife, but is good to tell. The place and time that I was working as a scientist was a joggle of pathological un-work with con man tinkerers. There were narrow threads of foundation making works. It is so obvious that now almost world have been informed about that. I was one of those who were chasing a scientific methodological work. Before my marriage I was quarrelling and not able to fit me in. I didn’t take heed of being glib and pushing me upward and just make my bosses happy. I was kicking. I was telling these that Yanis interrupted me. When You do not marry before twenty two twenty three at most twenty five in a traditional religious society that you cannot socialize with opposite sex openly in the society then gradually you become loner and sex-hungry and weird. You become giggling and shy and the married friends do not take you to your home and do not come with their family to your home. People always ask you why you do not marry and they have suggestion for marriage out of your expected one, based on the pity that they have for that girl of their kin and tribe, to be married before it becomes late for her in front of others, and not what you like appropriate for you. That makes you more unpopular. You cannot say that you do not like her. It is a sin and an insult for one who has proposed her to you. He becomes a potential enemy to revenge later from you. You become out of the middle of normal distribution curve towards tails of that curve: a residual deviant just like non-heterosexual people in this country before this new century. Always they looked as if leech, deviant, hiding, giggling, ashamed and betrayed and ashamed and transpired again and again.
Carlo DJ
Before my marriage I used to give my knowledge and work free to any approaching person and he would make an opportunity out of that for him. I couldn't sell and couldn't buy and was volunteered to accept the hard part of the job cheaply. When I married after few weeks that passed from my engagement gradually I felt a new feeling inside me growing. A place that I used to jump over in hiking instead of walking a way around it I never jumped again. I started to become deferring to people who could help me improving my salary and position. I learned that I should attach a group and be polite with them and allow them to fall in hell or heaven. I could remember that in our ancient history there was a golden eagle, watching a group of monkeys were trying to make a fire with glowing worms at a cold night. He shouted at them said that it was not fire it is a worm. After some shouting monkeys said to him we can't hear you come near and tell us what you are saying. When he got near to them they caught him and torn him apart. I had told that story frequently to them and had made them angry. I had new energies and with all joys I could invite other married people to my home and arrange rotary dinners with them. I could convince people politely that I do that job for them on a paid contract to keep the friendship sound and I could use those verses that I had in memory as a witness. I had to show them that I could do those tinkering jobs they were busy doing. And I did. They were watching me with open mouths. At this time The Thing arrived and buried remaining years of my life alive.
Carlo DJ
And you might think that I want to show off, Yanis. And the first day that you started to advocate devil and responded to me you alleged that I believed that I was genius and mocked me that I had ideas similar to Einstein and if I tell them to the world then "they" come and take me with strait jacket: a cliché frequently used to make fun of poor mentally ills who shake and are harmless and only ask for a piece of bread and a shelter from cold and rain to rest far from maddening crowd and they do not behave according to your theories, inside their minds and they are no attention seekers and no self-infatuated. They are people, humans, and they want to remain among the amorphous people and they do not know if it is good to be famous or if it is bad. I write these things it is because that I want you become sure that I was living in a third world country with no notion of psychiatry intervention at all even in the most disturbing and dangerous cases. I never heard that even in one case they say that the man stabbed to death another person because he believed that person was part of a group of conspirators chasing him or wanted to take him to asylum. There is no intervention until some one commits that likely crime attributed to mentally ill. I have a piece of newspaper as document to this assertion written by the greatest professor of psychiatry of that country. I am ready to scan it here. In such a place if you want to find somebody consistent with any model of distress whose family and himself cry for help it is very easy. In such conditions they have detained me in total access of an unknown agency in contradiction to all of their norms and norms of developed countries. I had house and car and job and wife and child and hand skills and postgraduate degree and other skills and was behaving very normal even after many years of harassment as observed under intensive watch here in a psychiatry ward, internationally known, work place of Laing, Scheff and many other famous psychiatrists and sociologists. So whatever I leave as my legacy will be extremely important for future generations who later will study it and will believe in my assertion as being Messiah. And Listen to me.
Carlo DJ
In contrast to that due to not having wife and any family gradually that faint idea that I had at the adolescence that I was a little bright gradually faded away and I believed that I was very thick and used to read and work very hard and take notes and create brain storms on the paper - here I learned that is called brain storm; I believed it was my own invention and a sign of being thick hiding it from others. I have many of those drafts here. When I married I had that habit and that new feeling of comfort had been added to that. It has caused an extraordinary capacity for me that until recently, a year ago I had it. From the time that I put earmuff that capacity is decreasing, with other ailments that I have.
Carlo DJ
Similar to the assertion I heard that one should not read or go to courses to get confidence was that having married has no relation to my mental illness. How any honest human may say this? When you are being created half comes from male and half from female. Only microbes reproduce without gender. That means that in creation you are only half at any moment and in need of the other half and this is ontological. Your brain your body your mind and your soul all have the same functional feelings. You need a partner when you are sixteen then you do not get until twenty years later that you are thirty-six. What happens to you during that twenty years? Twenty years of sufferings makes you incomparable with what you already have been considering life-span of a human in average. I heard many things. For example I was only a little better than a mentally ill I knew in our neighbourhood. I said Picasso is only a little better than in painting than me. Once Vivaldi was guest in a wedding. It was snowing outside. A poor busker came near one of the windows and playing violin to collect some money from wedding revellers. His poorly played violin was fading among the laughing and talking of guests. Vivaldi became sad. Stealthy he went out, took the violin and started to play. Crowd gradually became dead silent. People didn't notice it was Vivaldi playing. In minutes later they started to throw gold coins out of the window for the minstrel. Vivaldi was only a little better than street violinist.
Carlo DJ
Instead of doing the course and these things, the unidentified agency had an alternative solution. I use “The Unidentified Agency.” And sometimes I use this phrase instead of “Ahriman” and Satan and Devil and these types of terms since at that time I had not any notion of Messiah and similarity of my experience with that phenomena. I believed I was weird and some ordinary psychologist has abused my political situation in the a-bomb story and has got total access to me and ‘he’ is graduate of Harvard and internationally known with relatives in the government and forces me to something to create case study and publishing papers and I should comply in a way and I was trying to make it an opportunity to take bread for these two wretched girls and perhaps more kittens or cubs later. There was a psychiatrist in my neighbourhood, Dr Rezzi, with big garden and wealthy and painters and cinema directors and actors and other elite used to go to him and he had all modernity besides fuss of oriental mysticism and being a dervish. I believed at that time that this agency was something of that genre.
Alternative solution was that all my certificates of my courses became pieces of useless paper and I stayed for twenty years at home without job without medical care, without pension, without children, without friend, without proper food, without sunshine, without listening to early morning birds, without watching out of window, without reading or writing (since my eyes have become very bad), without clothing, without fresh air confined in high dose of Radon accumulation. Walking like a clown with earmuffs, limping, with wool overcoat and wool socks and gloves in summer. And because this miracle solution had not plenty of time required to fix me they should continue its extension to only thing that has remained for me, my daughter. As Rumi says, “I need John, the Baptiser, and Hercules in this arena!”
Carlo DJ
We had a king in our history. He was a foot soldier then gradually progressed until he became a great general and a famous king. Then he started to conquer the world and he achieved this goal as much as an average lifetime allows one from east to west. He was living in fourteenth century. His expeditions were mostly out of an explorer's curiosity rather than just having a greater land. Once he took his army to a small country then he rented a good accommodation and started walking in the streets and shopping and these things and then left that country. His life is depicted by a Danish poet and later by an English poet. He was asked how he became a great general. He said that once he was a young soldier and defeated in a battle escaped and hid in a demolished building. There he noticed an ant was trying to carry a grain, larger than the ant himself, up a broken wall to the top. Every time that the ant gets near the top of the wall the grain falls and the ant comes back and takes it and tries to take it up again. He says that he counted and after sixty five times ant succeeded to take the grain over the wall. Then he says that he learnt to be a great general from that ant. Now, my story writing is very similar to attempt of that ant. As much I try it does not go over the wall. When I read back my writing seems a mess with broken bridges. I am sure some people out there heartily are eager that my story remains hidden and they wish that I not be able to reveal what I have experienced and have received from their intervention in my life. So I try another round. My health has become very deteriorated. I have a got a brown patch under my left arm sometimes itching. Also scrutum region is so itching that takes me near to a fit with dry mouth. I avoid itching as much as I can. My left eye recently has got occasional flashing when I am looking in left corner. I need two new glasses one for reading and one for watching. If I sleep during the day for few minutes then my eyes completely becomes blurred. I have high disystolic pressure most of the time and overall muscular skeletal pains. But my overall writting in foreign language has been improved.
Carlo DJ
Narration in my old native language is done by simple past tense. In that language past tense usage and present perfect tense is dominant. To create that type of simple past in English one should constantly use "I used to." to satisfy semantic demand of language habit. It makes your English very rough as I compare it to native narration. I am reading Treverian's social history of England recently. He never needs to narrate anything with that auxiliary phrase. I believe too much work has helped me to break the code and be able to write in a similar fashion, as it is said “Abuent studia im mores.” Owner of native English tongue never falls in that track. He simply uses verbals or makes the action existential with modals such as “be” or “should” or even verbal "got" in a colloquial way such as "I got to go to shopping everyday." In case, for narrating habitual frequent acts in the past tense he transport them to present and then narrates them. I’ll keep trying.
Carlo DJ
"Abuent studia in mores." Too much hard working changes your behaviour. People knew this from ancient time. I watched this end of may of 09 that documentary about Tourret. How some awareness and support can change things, experts can judge. There was a scene that a lady, perhaps well trained, was helping those inflicted souls. That seems a very horrifying experience that you sit and a group of people that you want to help annoy you mostly with foul and rude comments. Those people mostly suffered from multiple numbers of ticks and were fully verbalising the under-skin thoughts. After an hour in the meeting one of them said, "The lady now is Tourret sufferer by proxy!" since the lady some how started to become copying under the pressure. What happens if twenty years wherever she goes people talk in that way with her? Perhaps nothing, just with her manner and character or whatever. What I want to deduce? I don't know. I just don't know anything. None of us knows anything regarding outcomes. That lady can change her job and go to holiday and afternoons after her job she goes to cinema and streets and restaurant and next day comes back fresh to the job. The other thing was advising people into the tolerating these people. All the secret is here. You can encourage “the tourret” and punish the poor victim or you can help the victim and punish the tourret. The tourret is as wise of an adult human but with wit and ultra responsiveness of Perry Mason and Lieutenant Colombo and all the witty rude toastmasters of the world. It is extreme of wisdom in the sense described by Plato (when he describes three levels of wisdom), in a circle that touches back to the idiocy. As I said perfect plotter has ultimate wisdom in a way that he does a pure stupid act. “The tourret” wants to be alone with audience and the victim not to be there. When the audience punish the victim he becomes more witty. He answers more rapidly and more frustrating for the victim until to make the victim more ashamed. It is nature not the human. It is in the centre of "thinking" and has access to all files. It is power of feedback of putting the microphone in front of the speaker. It takes al the electrical energy and its result is blowing electronics of the amplifier. It is a loud screeching hiss that exists in nowhere but in the emptiness between microphone and megaphone and by destroying the circuit destroys itself too without having any benefit for it self or for the victim. It is just a voice without body and has to live on a human body. It is another instance in the spectrum I described about the muonium atom.
Carlo DJ
In Tourret as I noticed from the documentary of TV, the voice inside the head can find an outlet to the outside world and starts to communicate with surrounding environment and community. The voice takes the motor into the control. By talking rudely to them IT invites them to become hostile to you. It reports itself to people as your hidden thoughts. It does not kill you. If it kills the victim then it cannot play with him. It reads your mind faster than the speed of light. Yes, it breaks rules of nature. It is the story of "Alice" and "Bob" who communicate faster than speed of light and is called "EPR Paradox." Since these people are miserable and in hands of coercing traditional psychiatrists nobody chase these ideas. Psychiatrists even mostly do not believe that some people hear voices. The voice reads the mind of victim faster than the speed of light and with lowest level of stress that victim experience it puts a rude comment on the motor stream. That might come out of skin as a faint convolution or shake or words. It reads all the ports simultaneously not on a polling. It sees and hears and feels and smells all at the same time. And at the same time finds receptors of audience and hooks into them to transmit non-verbal cues. It is so social that knows what is the worst comment for the victim and for the audience in a mutual trade-off. It knows who might fall in any fulfilling relation in any conceivable future with you and find weakest loops of the chain. If it finds a feed backing audience it never stops till to destroy any connection. (The supporting lady was giving an amplifying feedback to Tourret and patronising for the victim by repeating “absolutely” in response to its rude comment. She, as trained believed victim and the Tourret are the same and one people. Can you remember I started with story of St Julian? The lady should tell the victims at the beginning that she does not care for their leprosy not constantly remind them of their misery and showing her supportiveness. Well, they have plans to wire up individuals in their society. They believe their people are stupid children. I cannot help it.) I asked the voice, "What would you say twelve thousand years ago to your victims when there was not a hooker that you f*ck?" It always says that since I am a hooker 'he' is f*cking my c*nt. It replies that according to antipsychiatry that I believe in, this is a social phenomenon and at that time it didn't exist! Yes, I am repeating this. I have done it twelve thousand times with IT. IT could be correct if there was not an external instance of the voice in shape of a moving human. That Thing can externally exist independent of a victim. That the nature is so amazing is not fault of my mind. It is just amazing to behold. In the spectrum of the voice we have faintest stress of height or roller coasters or snake to simple freezing of catatonia, stutter in public, hearing voices in mind, hearing voices talk to people (Tourret's) and I assume an independent hearing voice in a body of human (the mind reader) whose victim is a separate independent human.
Carlo DJ
I saw these blessed souls on Britain TV I am getting here. Nobody harassing them or intervene in their private life or disturbing their family or children or preventing them to fulfil their personally selected goals. It was desired if they could commit themselves to any job to be paid and feel pride of earning bread. It showed in the documentary that they seemed very annoying and disturbing to the environment since the selected group had ticks in form of utterance of some noise or rude speech. Well, the so-called supporting group had as a rule of state support in the industrialized world an amplifying effect for the ticks somehow, but overall in didn’t show that they were harassing the victim into the solitary house arrest. Now, how it might happen that in a third world country with no rule and infra-structure of any state intervention they should go and find somebody to “cure” his very mild craze. It was not actually even craze. It was that you live in small closed environment for a long time and that becomes desired to find a pretext for sorting you out. When you start your desire for social life and ritual of mating from sixteen and you do not find a safe environment to fulfil it then that preening rituals gradually change to a weird behaviour. Then marriage reverses it definitely. I noticed that mild tick in many people in high social position, sometimes as fuss, sometimes as a hidden scar. One example was the previous president of US, George Bush (the son). The contributor to the Fox channel news (O’Reilly Factor), the lady who is professor of university in communication (Jane Hall), at that time frequently justified it as dyslexia in communication. That could be due to sudden absolute quit of alcohol in a certain age. Support of his family took him to the highest position of the world. I quoted this from that professor such that nobody accuses me in projection. The other one is present president of France, who cannot help his “sugary” smile in serious occasions except that moving it into a distinct classic shoulder. Yes, I feel very bad to indicate such things. In my place they say if you indicate some disability in another person god gives that to you. From childhood I was afraid of such things. As they destroyed my life with such unjustifiable pretexts, I write these only for the record of future people who might become interested and chase my case.
Carlo DJ
My life has been changed, as Yanis mentioned, to that creature in Kafka's metamorphosis story in my own house in one hand and the guy in his Trial on the other hand. I cripple and live like a dirty valet of middle ages. I cannot hug my wife and my daughter and suffer from physical ailments without any medical help. Instead of humble books and courses I liked to do endlessly I have written loads of nonsense as appeals around the world to claim back miniscule freedoms of a slave. Leave that; one should behold traumatic life of my daughter and my wife. Leave treating me; behold my wife. Without no doubt she will live a depressed life later (don’t worry they know how to deal it in this country then). She is gradually developing ticks out of loneliness, misery, and humiliation out of marriage with the “shovaalieh eengeeleessee.” They said that I was elated and they wanted me to be cynical to make up my elation. Now instead of me, this innocent kitten so wasted her life, is bitter, bitter than Schopenhauer. I have hundred thousand pound that they do not give me to bring a short smile to their lives at the end of my road. We have a big house with no guest or anybody to break its silence (yes, if I take my earmuffs, in less than three minutes somebody comes and shout, “C’mon navigator!” even two o’clock in the morning). It is dirty and deserted, like my miserable life. I believe, from the infrastructure and paranoia that I have noticed here (for example, in that MP who is doctor of theology and reduced the heat of debate) the bigger still is ahead. There is something in the story of prophets, the harassing people were continually making their actions more drastically and more violent though the prophets became milder and milder with people. Those people didn’t believe that they were doing these things to a prophet. They knew him just as a lunatic epileptic and knew their own actions proper and scientific. At the time of Mohammad one ordinary street hoodlum took a handful of dust and showed it to Mohammad asked him, “Do you say God after thousands years return this dust to my flesh when I’ll be after fifty years like this?”
Carlo DJ
In the story of "Beauty and Beast" a prince fell in a spell of witch because he was arrogant or something. We know that many people were arrogant hence this definitely had not been the reason of spell. The reason could only be that he had been accessible by the witch. This story is another narration of my misery. You can see that girl is my wife. Bell had a father who was doing scientific research among Dark Age people who were accusing him of madness and he was also under constant threat to be taken to lunatic asylum. You see, both were actually her husband who was both her father in inspiration and wisdom and her husband in companionship. Beast's castle had become dilapidated because of just a nagging of the witch. You know that the witches in fairy tales make a crap of your life due to some ignorable insult you have done to them. For example, you have not invited them to baptizing of your child or you have indicated their big nose such things that even cruel kings, like my native establishment, do not intervene, but witch cannot forgive you because he wants to use his witchcraft if he finds a soft target. Every story, consistently, can be quoted as my biography.
Carlo DJ
I said that state intervention brings more misery than alleviating any of your mishaps. This is reflected in growth of ex-users clans of mutual and self supports in industrialised world to be replaced by those state institutions. They also gradually learn to make their circles more hidden from the eyes and ears of establishment and taking new members and preventing the new cases to betray themselves to government agencies. Out of them, doctors and rich people and altruistic people also offers their help directly and covertly to these groups. This is completely like clans of lepers that we had in ancient times and at the time of Jesus Christ.
Carlo DJ
Such groups take new cases into themselves before that those new members contact with established governmental institutions and smear themselves with stigmas and labelling of such interventions. New members should be convinced with strong evidences that state cannot help them except in favour of more degradation of their situation. There are volunteers among the ex-users to enlighten a road map and self-help planning for the new member. Other volunteers come from rich and humanist members of society, doctors, lawyers and those who already as part of the state institutions witnessed the exacerbating effects of those interventions. Similar to people with mental health problem we have seen situation of (mostly) women victims of domestic violence. As a matter of routine practice usually their appeal to government agencies such as police will worsen their situation dangerously and in cases amounts to their death or suicide. (I have this cue "She wants divorce. Do you handle cases of divorce?" It was when I was talking to a lawyer about my case and I was heated, very eloquently was describing my situation. The secretary of the lawyer interrupted into the privately paid meeting of mine without knocking the door and asked that question as if she didn't know what jobs her boss usually handles and cannot wait until end of meeting to ask.) There are trustable clans created by suffered women that create new identities and job opportunities for run away victims. I discussed this when I was describing the situation of prostitutes who complain from their gigolo to police. This also applied when British sisters were victims of rape of their fathers incarcerated by him for twenty years. They contacted with social workers by telephone in a rare occasion but the social workers couldn’t promise them a rose garden or anything. There are counter-arguments against these by studying further. These clans have to live in shadowy and dark corners that open the door to the parallel abuses by competing thugs. A mentally ill could become a drug addicted. A pregnant girl from the rape or from a boy friend may fall in hands of women traffickers or child adopting firms. A runaway wife can also have similar problems. It is this arena that brings a social mission for Messiah besides his ontological endeavour in war with Satan. I said that Satan is an entire spectrum from a simple stress to full carnation in shape of an ordinary human. Only Messiah can pour the rain of bless over the dust of social earthly injustice and enlighten those dark corners with the flame of hope. This is paraphrase of the rain that cured lepers after Jesus Christ crucified.
Carlo DJ
What would have happened had I not listened to Fox News debate regarding dyslexia? They have thousands hours of debate and programs in a remote vast populate country while I am sleeping or working in kitchen or under the shower and I needed only this humble one word, "dyslexia." I only sometimes might watch that channel and I needed that word to be said by an expert in human communications, a well-established expert, serious enough in a serious occasion not like Jesus of TYT network. She knows that she should use a harmless, cool attribute such as dyslexia not to be included in categories of DS-Manual. That gentleman wanted to show his sorrow for the historical damage of hurricane. He just showing a state of ecstasy instead of sad sombre mime he intended to. He is not any Nero. Definitely he was very sad and thoughtful at that time at least for his very personal selfish own interests, if not for humanistic reason and actually he was sombre. I am sure that he wanted to do all possible compensations for the devastated people. But that "things" right at the time converts it. You try more it makes it worse. That gentleman lived happily with those symptoms and ruled at the top of the world where nobody before were and did all he liked whether with good consequences or bad and he said he cannot makes his decisions based on the polls. And this is correct. When they put you there then they accept that they should not come and revise or ask you to revise every minute due to polls of newspapers. Already correct machinery should be implemented for prevention of disasters. What happens if a headmaster in the US finds a student who smiles when his teacher rebukes him for being not attentive and his father is a worker? They take him there and keep him until he dies or become blind and if some goes to study his life they tell him that the detainee was tolerating the consequences of his own decisions. Many other similar symptoms could be noticed in that gentleman. Nobody, even most cruel paparazzi ever mentioned them. The body language nasty watchers say all things, which comes in the context of human endeavours in a magnanimous and noble way. Only Satan and its affiliated institution in the industrial world, the coercive traditional psychiatry, chase those as pretext for incarceration of humans in a hidden unwritten agenda to take Satan to the thrown of man. They are lubricating gears of their machinery such that if Messiah comes to world they could be ready to persecute Him.
Perhaps such attributions as dyslexia also exist for the other president or others. He had surprisingly story of being harassed by Voodoo, too; the art of remote harassing. His, definitely would have been diagnosed, as having grimace and tick, had he not power and family.
Carlo DJ
My eyes are becoming worse. I have to type without much looking at the computer screen. Every time I decide to go to doctor they intensify their harassment such that I understand that they do not care. I do not understand if they do not care why they do not leave me alone with my mental illness. Please forgive me if My writings become more messy. Sometimes words come to my mind without being typed. Hence I might have missed a verb or an important preposition or adverb.
Carlo DJ
I was talking about the symptoms. The symptoms that act like an autonomous enemy sitting next to you and talk to your audience, at home in street at work where you go, that unidentified agency comes with you and tell people that you are mad. If you turn, [IT] turns with you. If you sleep, [IT] sleeps with you. If try to overpower [IT], in turns [IT] pushes you back to wherever you were. You are the victim. IT is the abuser. You suffer, [IT] enjoys. [IT] wants to remain the sole entity for attention and [IT] loves attention. When people pay attention to [IT], [IT] goes into the feat of ecstasy and excited jumps in the middle of arena makes such a drooling, dribbling dance. [IT] dies if [IT] could get a dead carcass of a human takes it as an independent psychomotor moves around the human society ask them just people do not do anything but come and suffer you and [IT] enjoys. Traditional coercive psychiatry is deaf and blind to listen to stories of such agency retold frequently by the sufferers. They just lose their opportunity. But out of the stream support clans who listen to Voice Hearers can certify. A victim asks his voice, "You are just like a human with all understandings. What would you do if you had a body?" The voice, just like a human answers, "I just ask everybody in the world to suffer you. I would burry you alive with a little air and food to remain alive and suffer and people come and swear and curse you." Then the voice becomes disorganized and continues random swearing. Now, You can decide to honour and validate symptoms or validate the victim. Most of the time you augment the symptoms, except that you already be like St Julian the hospitator. I talked about those presidents with similar but weak symptoms. If they were a poor family-less person in the third world, they could be victimized as having particle-madness that should be converted to classical madness of claiming themselves as Julius Caesar or Einstein or Napoleon or such things. See, if I am correct. For the more powerful one I described and I do not mention names again; if he becomes distressed he stops and whisper to himself as if counselling with an unseen person. The other one, less powerful, becomes dog mad such as happened when people pushing needles out of banality to his voodoo doll. Humans in average know that they should not do these things even with their enemies, when there is intervention of those symptoms. People say, "We do not face those symptoms. We face with his human part. Those things are not valid things that we alliance with. We are not so yellow no-mark thugs to ambush an ailing lonely old man in his bed in the night." By the god-given gift of human intelligence, people know who is the victim and what is the illness. The coercive traditional psychiatry finds your symptoms as described in generalized form very stereotyped, say, in DS-Manual. Then happily shakes hand with them and amplify them. Minimum, that can guarantee their income. But actually it is worship of Satan and promoting temple of Satan to bring Satan as the ruler of the world.
Carlo DJ
There are things on the other hand, which is trivial in being applicable with "if" and "but" and "do not do it at home." This story is written in 1278 AD. A king sits in a ship to pass the see to the other shore. He has a slave of him that loves like a child. When they pull out the anchor and pull down the sails and ship soars over the water, the slave finds everything in moving under his feet and roaring waves frighten him so much that he starts to shout and frenzy crying asking people to take him back to the land. King gradually becomes distressed asks if any body with any promise or reward can make the slave calm. He had a wise Vizier who advise sailors to throw the slave into the water. King becomes suddenly startled but immediately a sailor with the hint of Vizier pulls the young man out. After that the slave becomes silent and gradually starts to become used to ship. This is what they call a "flooding" and actually is a flooding. That is definite that human knows what is the conditioning and operant conditioning from ancient time. It depends where, by whom, for what goal is used and if it is conditioning to build or destroy.
Carlo DJ
Second story belongs two to three hundred years ago. At my place, it was tradition that during a festivity people gather and preacher talks to them about life and death of "blood line." That is stories of beheading of pure innocent people like John the baptizer and similar people before and after him. Then people, each has a hidden sorrow inside, such as disease, death of near people, rivalry and defeat in love, disastrous life, something, and cry. There are points in the stories that people become loud in lament and the preacher becomes silent allows them to weep. Meanwhile, people believe he is whispering with low voice prayers or cursing the killers when his lips only moves without any voice in those intervals because he does not cry. It happened that a young preacher asked an older one to allow him to sit at his preaching at the base of pulpit and becomes coached for his future job. He was listening carefully, though he would become full of sorrow of stories and excellent performance of his mentor, he carefully taking notes from the session. People weeping started to become louder. Preacher stopped story and started his whisper. “What he is saying?” The young man thought to himself. It was the intonation of a song and words, “… I need a bottle wine, which is purer than the holy water and with some antipasti of aubergine and yoghurt and then it is good a dame on my lap. Yes, comes and hug me on my lap.” He could not believe what he had heard. But it was similar lewd songs in other intervals, as well. After the end of session when people feast the preacher, the apprentice asked the master about songs and their relevance to the story. It is extremely forbidden to drink alcohol and dames for people, in particular for such a reverent pious preacher in the middle of lament for the holiest beings on the earth. The preacher invited him to attend the “license giving” session that night for him composed of highest preaching authorities if the man wants to discover his inquisition. When the pupil entered the salon, an old pious looking, as if senior to other came ahead took the hand of the young man looked in his face and said, “I have been reported that vice behaviour of your mentor by some people of faith. I regret that your mentor made such a blasphemous mistake. Actually with your mother available around he does not need a dame.” The apprentice became dog mad wanted to open his mouth and brings some verses from the holy book. At this time another old man came near dragged the lad aside said, “No with such an erudite boy joining to us we should be thankful of God and pray.” Man becomes chilled a bit of finding a friend among so many rude strange faces. But that friendly preacher immediately continued, “ We should be thankful of God because I have heard that his sister hooks around.” This story continued until the last of the sixty preachers repeated that cheating and punishing skit. The lad, meanwhile had told so many dirty words out of his pious mouth in restoration back to the all holy individuals of the city that could not invest in piety more than any one of them. Then servants came in the vestibule and spread table clothes on the floor with antipasti and carafes of wine and hookers jumped in on the table clothes dancing and laughing to the morning at the night that ordinary people stay awake for the prayer till morning for martyrs of blood line.
This was cognitive behaviour approach used from ancient time by thugs.
Carlo DJ
We saw the effectiveness of that approach for socialisation of a cadet to enter his role. Having this story in mind I was cheated that such a scheme were under way when they were annoying me with dirty words they were targeting my wife and my little daughter I became cheated that the unidentified agency wants to make me rude to fix my cycling as it alleged as my disease. I retorted them with similar verbalism and somehow it is good to use foul mouth in certain limited occasions. I was in command of that skill before this scheme happens to me. Yes, I could make a good preacher in that sense. But as much I waited no party began and the situation became harsher. As much it was possible for the unidentified agency in that country to influence people it used to punish me for any restoration that I did. In this country it is in command of the entire gears of society up to the highest legal authorities and it punishes me with punishing and suffering my wife and my child in their educations and careers. They said that they do not want that “the sheep becomes fat or becomes lean.” At that time the agency was not transpired to me as the agency of Satan and used to use a very arrogant tone of a scientist doing a serious breakthrough operations with known outcome meaningful in human context, such as “ I like it this way.” - “I check the result.” - “We have decided to refuel the aircraft.” Anyway, it takes us to the story of “sheep.” In thirteen century, we had a mathematician and philosopher mostly in logic who entered in politics and became Grand Vizier of a powerful king of nomads. He converted the king to his religion and some how they reached to a deep friendship. My philosopher took the king and conquered the capital city of his personal enemies and demolished their six hundred years reign over half of the world. The defeated and executed king had a Grand Vizier himself, very devil and diabolic who escaped with his wealth down into the ordinary population. When this mathematician was a scholar teaching in that city, the Vizier used to annoy and harass him frequently. How he can find him and exterminate him. He ordered to give a “sheep” to each house asking them to feed the sheep for a month and then soldiers would come back and take the sheep and weigh them if one of them has gained the weight or has lost the weight they kill the house owner and at that time people were very cowered by the invading army. What happened? Nobody could achieve such a task. Should take kill all? Nobody could keep the weight of the “lamb” unchanged but the house that that vessel of the most un-holy, that mind reader had been hidden. Only he could do such a task. My scholar spotted him in this way and swiftly executed him. He feeds the sheep with nice fodder and then unleashes snapping dogs to cringe him. It is believed that the devil Vizier was a mind reader. Some believed that he was the one eyed Dajjal. When I heard that the agency boasting such skill then I understood that it is not a scientist. It is something that plays with its prey until it dies. When the wolf attacks to a herd with no herdsman it kills one to eat and suffocate more just for pleasure of having lambs with no owner to care. I should assure you that they didn't know that that Vizier was by some beliefs Dajjal or such. It is just Messianic. Yes, believe me or not.
Carlo DJ
In the story of Vizier and the Scholar, the Vizier was famous, as a stinging scorpion and the king he was serving had honoured him as the "Tongue of the Reign." He knew himself very prompt and witty in the circle of the court, but ordinary people knew him a devil scorpion. He used to annoy the scholar when he was a teacher in that city, had asked everybody to call him “cow” such that to the end of life he could remember with a tick. You cannot believe but you can read in the history. The scholar was a mathematician, a shy person. Every time Vizier asked him, “Who you are?” He would answer, “A cow!” And Vizier had another witty thing such as, “Then tell me where are your horns?” The poor man could not find any answer but to become tearful. He couldn’t understand what art the Vizier was practicing. He was busy on stars and calendars and his geometry book in thirteenth century translated immediately to Latin and his speculation about Euclid fifth postulate inspired later mathematician until they put that postulate out of geometry creating non-Euclidean geometry. He had many very nice books in logic, still very lively to read. I had new corrected edition of them that I lost in this event of my life. He has very influencing works in divine philosophy. He proved himself a great politician when captured by great elder of all “Assassins.” He forced to become chancellor of great terrorist king, a bad lock for the king. He wrote a book about ethics and moral behaviour for the king. He escaped and joined to the king of Nomads who was badly in search of knowledgeable chancellor to make him similar to other civilised king. This king is the man who for the first time attacked with thirteen hundred battle ships to Japan but fell in the tempest and could not continue his invasion and his bridgehead in Nagasaki was recaptured by Japanese but that shows his territory. Under the influence of my mathematician the astronomy became part of the blood of that dynasty and grand son of the nomad became the finest ‘king-astronomer’ who established the greatest observatory of middle ages, where still is the best observatory of the north hemisphere in terms of earth coordinates with time sharing among the astronomers from all around the industrialised world. Instead, my mathematician took that army to the other side and rooted out the famous “Assassins”, this gang of unruly plight of that region from the history forever. After that only a pocket of them remained still terrified, famous here in posh media similar to Prince of Monaco. Then he took the savage army to the famous city of Bakhdaad, completely similar to the recent events. Before him frequently great generals, compatriot to him had captured that city but they had negotiated with the reign to keep him as a symbol of religion and patron and authorising of their own throne similar to Pontiff in Christendom. But this mathematician had an antagonist ideology to that titular king. Some people in the captured court approached to the king of nomads who was a recent converted, and afraid of his new god, advised him that if he kills the captured pontiff, sky might fell on the earth. My scholar said, “ We wrap him in the raw felt and start to process the felt (as is practiced by felt men) then if we feel that sky is shaking or something is near to happen we stop.” (This advice repeated in the recent history again with all details similar.) In this way he killed the man in the most painful way. The Vizier is still remembered for his inflaming remarks without anybody know his name. He is just a Vizier. This story is very interesting in that if you go in Bradford or among those fighting in afkhanesstaan or elsewhere one mild grievance of theirs is that they had lost their papal system in thirteenth century and they want to establish a new one. They do not know it is all related to Dajjal and Messiah and has nothing to do with politics and the East and the West and the home pride. That story is Messianic waited to be baptized to help to visualise.
Carlo DJ
A bracket misplaced in the previous comment. The people of the court of the pontiff advised the king of nomads that if he kills the titular pontiff since he was being known as the hand of god on the earth then sky would come on the earth. In recent history of Bakhdaad the same advice was given to foreign army that if the captured ruler become executed then an uncontrollable upheaval would happen. In both cases nothing happened. In both cases local antagonist faction were the same people and a mighty foreign army was involved in winning of the underdog. Everything similar. What happened to Vizier? When they took him to conqueror. He had a glib language talked very respectfully in the language of the conqueror (many people knew three languages), then said that according to the education of their religion, the new religion of the converted king, if somebody dies, then at the first night two very terrifying angels come in the grave and ask difficult questions regarding "Divine Philosophy" from the dead. Accordingly, as he knows that mother of king far from the cool breezes of Altai piedmonts is in bed and is dying, he advises the nomad king to inter the Grand Chancellor (the poor mathematician scholar) with the queen mother if god forbids she dies to answer the angels because he is the best in divine philosophy. Yes, even in one step to gallows he could not stop plotting. King of nomads who just recently had been freed from rituals of mind readings and poking people to hear the voice of dead became crimson and swiftly executed the plotter. What happened to court people and that very populated city? No looting, no raping, no arson happened. The mathematician reined everything. Then syndicates of people came in the camp of the king. Biographer of the king has written. When I write in my native language I always write in that style. The first group were academia that king rewarded them with gold and respect; the second group were craftsmen that king send them back with due rewards, then came ... until a group came ahead and king asked the attendants that who were those people and the humble servants of the court replied that these are the bear-dancers and street wrestlers and tent-boxers and monkey-rounders and panderers and preachers and occupation therapists and family counsels and social workers and crisis teams and legal aids; the auspicious command of the great ruler of the world for the benefit of all subjects issued as to throw all in all of them in the uproars of the Tigris.
Carlo DJ
Under the tradition of the scholar in that dynasty of nomads a great golden age created among them such that they could create a civilization a share of knowledge equivalent to great civilisation that had surrounded them. Before that they couldn't. The only activity besides looting boarder cities of neighbouring lands was their endeavour to mind reading in a hope that bypass the rules of the game, to be able to read the mind of enemy army and their plans and the path that the enemy wants to pass the places that the enemy hides its gold and provision. So they didn't think to create any tool or literature or poetry or mathematics or philosophy. If you be able to dream and live in dreams why do you need to invent cinema? They believed if they poke and suffer a human sacrifice his mouth talks as the spirit of their ancestor shows them a way to perpetual life and they do not need to shape the steel like other nations. Instead of those insatiable dreams their grandchildren created "Taadj-mahal." centuries later. The impotency of mind readers faded among them.
Carlo DJ
Question remains that why prophets did not emerge among them to enlighten their ways and guide them to civilization as I advertised that it happened in the Middle East? One reason could be that the Antichrist did not created there. Anti-Christ is the necessary element that makes it possible that a prophet comes on earth. Anti-Christ is the ultimate of mind reading. IT is a carcass of a human that hosts only the voice without humanity of human being present in that carcass to suffer. And fight back, even in a weakest fight. Hence the voice searches for another human to suffer him. The voice inside the head of a human is a mind reader. It knows that you are in ski lift over a gorge and you think about your life. The voice is as precise as your own mind in understanding your feelings, fear, rage, love, touch, smell, movements, planning everything. You are only ahead of him in ontology; that’s all. Anti-Christ has such a precision from ITS victim who is another human and by nature wants to suffer him. Such that that human hosts It. To reach to that target Anti-Christ gets itself to the command of human society, and it shows that extraordinary art of remotely reading the mind of the victim as its ticket. IT does not want anything; gold or villa or women. By nature it has not a buddy inside its human carcass to suffer and IT needs only that. Can you remember the insect who paralyse another insect and lays her eggs there to hatch and feed from half alive body of the victim? You cannot entreat that insect to rectify her. We recognise Anti-Christ by such a trace. It is like that when we tag chemicals with radiating isotopes. They are chemically like non-radiating elements only that they have a trace.
Carlo DJ
The other reason is that for any reason that you might believe urbanization in form of making villages and bigger villages started earlier in those places: Abundance of sweet water, trees, ease of agriculture whatever that concluded the matriarchy and anthropologists could talk much from a materialist point of view. It is not politically wrong if we say Sumerides had libraries but Polynesian did not. Other thing was establishment of taboos in different form of self inhibitions and religious rituals and legal enforcement. Later we understand that taboos have existential roots from the creation of replica by RNA. When a cell divides it becomes injured and secrete chemicals to heal it that starts to make the family taboos ontological until pinnacle of evolution in creation of human society. Human society is the crave of structure that comes from evolution of our bodies. Ants have pieces of their organs scattered all around their colony. They do not have a family and a family taboo. They engineer a female and a male out of a neutral, round the clock, ideal, obedient workers a male and a female whenever it deems necessary for their colony; hence no need for family taboo. They swap information of their minds to each other like the nerves in our bodies. They have forfeit their privacy in favour of a single organ which is called a colony. They remain un-evolved, but for the forces of nature. Humans transferred that tendency into the village society to live like an organ but to stay creative in his privacy. You see people had computers at home to use it privately. Immediately they connected them together like a village a new monstrous being constitute of little humans. Now they are big and they are small. They are private and they are social. Later we recognize that the Antichrist also exists, and the Messiah, over the internet. If the Internet is a joke then I am joking.
Anyhow, antichrist could become created in village stage of human evolution. Desire of antichrist is to demolish human society and taboos. If you read old testament all the prophets have said that if people continue to suffer prophets, god destroys their “village” or their “city” and stories ends that they continued their wrong action and their villages and their cities became flooded or destroyed.
The Vizier I described was not a full-fledged Antichrist. That contingency to match things is very small. But he knew as its written in the history that one might become able to read the mind of others. That promptness and cruel heart that he was practicing was such a desire. At the end he ended his life to suggest to the conquering king that his “candidate”-Christ becomes buried alive in Hanspanger.
Carlo DJ
Before this happens to me I had a doctrine for my life. I used to repeat all that doctrine aloud every day ( a sign of craze? perhaps all that follows is crazy). It was in written form but I had memorised it such that I could rehearse it everyday where I could be alone for minutes. I write it that long doctrine in this English that I can afford and I believe it is best effort ever done by any body to write it in English. It is a booklet but is called a book in my native tongue. I have read it from the memory for more than fifteen years, perhaps twenty five years. So I cannot remember the punctuation and paragraphing and cuts of verses. It is in free modern verse in my native language. It is created in 1964 by a poet in my native country. It is some four thousand words.
What is strange about that. When I was reading that nobody knew him. He died of cancer and only his family and few friends were at his funeral. Some intellectual knew him mostly as a petit-bourgeois defending pacifism at the time that masses should use criticise of weapon and not to use the weapon of criticising. And the man did know none of them. The other thing was his income from some real estate in rural areas. He also was user of opium, alcohol and love without being married, so was not of favour of religious revolutionaries too. He also had not attracted the attention of previous establishment. Mystics also did not like him. They believed he was reading “Veda?” and had elements from pagan mysticism, called Hindis elements. When this scheme started on me they called me “Hindi” to catch and break this doctrine that would prevent me to hear voices. I used to sleep on my back flat on the floor and dovetail my fingers on my chest and say to me “ A flat plane is moving from surface of my feet slowly up to to my chest and now it is pumping out my breath out of my lung such that behind it remains nothing and upper and upper ..” and I would go to sleep at any rough place at any time of the day. This is different with my said primary school teacher I already described. It was for the night sleeping that children become afraid of darkness. Anyhow after two years passed from the unidentified scheme on me I could recognised that my poet was becoming the poet of nation now at this time this little book of my old doctrine prints as much as their holy book is not that strange? Is it just coincidence? Or I was sending it on the “Internet of the global mind of humans.” There are fourty three thousand pages in English language on the Internet related to his name besides pages on his native tongue. He has one verse among those verses I have written here describing me. I have high lighted it. I had four complete collections of him in memory. He had eight collection altogether I believe. He was a modern artist and now his works are expensively in auction in international galleries. I Did not read any resources now available on the web related to him. I only used my own memory. When I started to hear in my head the voice of that THING constantly from beginning of the Spring of 1998, I tried to rehearse the verses, but that vessel of ungodliness also started chasing my mind repeating and making me mad angry such that in a day or two I could not remember and IT told me, “That easy I took Hindi from you not to be elated anymore.” Now, I cannot give light from that poet and I believe that I have given light to him. He is now a star among people who had greatest poets of history and he is one them as deserved. But recently out of boredom I have started to rehearse him not as a doctrine but to keep my self a bit functional to finish my mission. I write that in pieces.
“I am from this town,
It is not too bad, my life at this time that I am living in,
A piece of bread,
A bit of talent,
A wee of intuition that I have,
Few friends better than flowing water,
A mum better than a tree leaf,
And , a god who is living around
Among the tuberoses
At the foot of that tall pine tree.
I am a Moslem, but my Mecca is that red rose,
My prayer mat is a spring
I put my forehead on the glow of LIGHT
Meadow is the place where I prostrate on prayer time,
To wash for prayer, I wash with the heart beat of windows,
In my prayer there is a stream of moonlight and its spectrum.
I can see all the stones from behind my prayer
All particles of my prayer are crystallised
I do my prayer when its time is said by the wind at the minaret of a cypress tree
After that a wave – being the vicar – leads my prayer
My Mecca is next to the water,
My Mecca is under acacias,
My Mecca is like breeze goes from orchard to orchard, from this town to the other town.
My Black Stone, is the bright of my little garden.
I am from this town,
My job is painting,
Occasionally I make a cage out of dyes and sell it to you,
To make you feel accompanied with the chirp of a poppy imprisoned there.
Alas, what a delusion, what a delusion,
I know that, that curtain is lifeless, I clearly know that pond of my paintings has no red fish in it.
My family’s root perhaps reaches to a plant in India
My family’s tree perhaps branches from a whore in Bacteria
My family’s pedigree perhaps starts from a clay vase recently found in archaeologists excavations in the nearby hill
My father, behind two periods of snow followed by two periods of sleeping in the terrace at the roof
My father before many years of passing of times died,
When my father died my mother suddenly jumped out of the bed
My sister looked more beautiful
When my father died, at that time, all constables used to be poets,
Then the grocer asked me how many stones of melon I would like to buy,
I told him, you daydreamer, how much is an ounce
My father was a painter
Had a nice calligraphy, too,
Also a manufacturer of lutes, and he could play lute too.
Our house orchard was at the shady side of being knowledgeable
Our house orchard a place to knot feelings with plants
Our house orchard was the intersection point of the sight and a cage and a mirror (poet uses perspective jargon from his painting education).
Our orchard was perhaps an arc from the green circle of happiness,
At those days I used to chew the God’s fruits of the orchard though unripe and even I was still dead sleeping in the bed.
I used to drink water without having a philosophy behind it.
I used to gather berries without using science.
When a pomegranate began to crack on the trees, hands became a fountain of desire.
When the pilaf-man was shouting in the ally the chest burning out of eagerness
And then if the heart was not fulfilled, touched its face to its window.
Crave used to come and put his hand round the neck of the feeling,
Thoughts were playing.
Life was something: like a fast shower amid the first of the Spring Festival,
Like a plane-tree full of starlings
Life at that time was a queue of lights and dolls
It was a lap full of freedom
Life at that time was a pond of music
The child tip toed tip toed got far, gradually, from the ally of dragon-flies
I packed all my belongings, out of the town of light dreams
Yet my heart heavy missing to see dragon-fly.
I went to be a guest to the world,
I went to the meadow of sadness
I went to the orchard of mysticism
I went to the well lighted terrace of knowledge
I went up the staircase of religion,
To the dead-end of the ally of agnosticism
To the fine weather of contentment
To the damp night of philia.
I went, I went to woman,
To the lantern of pleasure,
To the silence of desire,
To the sound of flapping of feathers of loneliness."
continues
continues
"I saw things on the earth
I saw a child sniffing the smell of the moon
I saw an aviary without a door that the LIGHT was trying to fly out of it
I saw a lady was beating the brightness in the mortar.
At lunch time they had bread, with some green and a dishful of morning dews and a very hot pot of love.
I saw a pauper going from door to door asking for the chirp of a lark.
I saw a scavenger who had kneeled in prayer in front of a melon skin.
I saw a lamb grazing paper kites
I saw a donkey who was insightful from the hay
I saw a cow in the meadow of advice overly satiated.
I saw a poet talking with lily calling her ‘you’ not thou.
I saw a book, all its words from the crystals,
I saw a piece of paper made out of the Spring
I saw a museum far from any green grass
I saw a mosque far from any water (as it should not be)
I saw a hopeless jurist, at his bed head a vase full of unresolved cases
I saw a mule loaded with the literary compositions,
I saw a camel loaded with an empty basket of maxims and proverbs.
I saw a mystic loaded with ‘hallelujah’
I saw a train carrying the ‘LIGHT’
I saw a train carrying jurisprudence – and how much it was going heavily loaded,
I saw a train carrying politics – and how much it was going empty of cargo.
I saw a train that was carrying seeds of water-lily and chirps of canary
And there an airplane that at its pinnacle of thousands feet earth could be seen from its window pane,
And from that window, the forelock of a coo coo,
The spots on the wing of a butterfly,
Image of a toad in the pond,
And the wheeze of a fly in the cull-de-sac of loneliness,
The clear desire of a sparrow when flying down the plane-tree,
And puberty of the sun,
The wonderful espousing intercourse of the doll with the dawn.
And the staircases that go to the cellar of boozing,
And the staircases that go to the greenhouse of lust,
Staircases that go to the law of decaying of a red rose
And to the mathematical understanding of the life,
Staircase that goes to the roof of incipience
And the staircase that goes to the platform of revelation
Down there, my mother was washing the tumblers in the memory of a wide river.
I could see the city: geometric offshoots of cement, steel, stone,
A flower shop that had put his flowers for clearance sale,
Between two jasmine trees, a poet fastening his hammock,
A boy throwing gravels to the fence of the school
A little child spiting out the stone of the apricot on the prayer mat of his father
A goat drinking water from the Kasspian sea of the geography map.
A washing line could be seen and on it a brassier impatient.
Wheels of a horse-cart craving the fatigue of the horse,
Horse craving the cart man falls to sleep,
The cart man craving for the death.
Love could be seen, waves could be seen,
Snow could be seen, friendship could be seen,
Words could be seen,
Water could be seen, image of objects in the water,
A cool shade place for the cells in the heat of the blood,
The damp side of the life,
The oriental of sadness of human essence,
The season of loitering in the ally of women,
Smell of loneliness in the ally of the seasons,
There was a paper fan in the hands of the Summer,
Travel of the seed into the flower,
Travel of the ivy of this garden to the next door garden,
Travel of the moon into the pond,
Shower of the young vine over the fence,
Raining of dews over the bridge of slumber,
Jumping of the joy over the moat of death,
Passing of the accident from behind the speech,
Battle of a hole with the request of the daylight,
Battle of an outdoor staircase with the long legs of the sun,
Battle of loneliness with a song,
The blood-shedding battle of a pomegranate with teeth,
The pretty battle of pears with emptiness of a basket,
Battle of Nazi's with the ‘Naz’ flower (a local flower);
Battle of parrot and eloquence with each other.
Battle of forehead with the coldness of prayer mat;"
Continues
"Attack of the mosque mosaic to the prostration ritual;
Attack of the wind to ascendance of soap bubbles;
Attack of the brigade of butterflies to agencies of agricultural pesticides;
Attack of brigades of dragon-flies to workers covering the streams;
Attack of one black regiment of reed calligraphy pens to lead-letters of printing house;
Attack of words to the chin of the poet.
Conquering of a century by a verse;
Conquering of an orchard by a starling;
Conquering of a cull-de-sac by one or two “good morning sir;”
Conquering of a town by three or four wooden rocking horse;
Conquering of a Christmas by two dolls and one football.
Murder of a baby-rattles on a tossing in after the lunch doze;
Murder of a fable at the street corner of falling in boredom sleep;
Murder of sadness in the hands of merry making songs;
Murder of moonlight in the hands of neon reclaim;
Murder of a willow on decision of municipality;
Murder of a melancholic poet in the hands of a wintersweet flowe.r
All over the earth could be seen:
Verse was walking in Hellas’s ally;
Owl was singing in upside down Hanging Gardens of Semiramis;
Wind in Khyber highway was carrying a plaited hay of history to the east;
Over the peaceful “Lake Negin” a boat was carrying flower;
in Benares there was an eternal lantern at the corner of each street;
I saw people, I saw metropolitans
I saw deserts, I saw mountain ranges,
I saw water, I saw dirt,
I saw LIGHT, I saw Darkness;
And I saw the plants in LIGHT, and plants in the Darkness,
I saw animals in LIGHT, animals in the Darkness;
And the flesh of man in the LIGHT, and the flesh of man in the Darkness.
I am from this town, but this town is not my town anymore;
My town has been lost with no trace.
I, with fever and excited with impatience, have built a hut on the other side of the night;
In this house I am near to being as damp-anonymous as a weed.
I can hear the breathing pants of the little garden;
And the voice of darkness when drips from a leaf;
Coughing of LIGHT hiding behind the hedge;
Sneeze of water from cracks inside the stones;
Splashing of swallows from the ceiling of the Spring;
And the clear voice of the window of loneliness being closed, being opened;
And the innocent voice of dizzy effeuillage of love:
Gathering the crave of flight in wings;
And cracking the self-abstention of soul.
I can hear the voice of footsteps of temptation;
And the voice of the legal steps of the blood in the veins;
Pulses of dawn inside the well of doves;
Throbs of the heart of the Friday night;
Flow of carnations in thoughts;
Innocent neighing of truth from afar.
I can hear the breeze of matter;
And shoes of faith in the cull-de-sac of eagerness.
And the sound of the rain over the damp eyelid of the love;
Over melancholic music of puberty;
Over the enchantment of pomegranate orchards;
And the voice of the shattering of flagon of joy at night;
Shredding out papers of beauty.
I am near to the origin of the earth.
I measure the pulse of flowers.
I am skilled in knowing the wet destiny of water and green habits of trees.
My soul is flowing in fresh direction of objects.
My soul is very child.
My soul, in times of his childish joys, coughs to encapsulate.
My soul is unemployed;
And counts drops of rain, gaps of bricks out of idleness.
My soul sometimes is as real as the stone on the road that I trip over.
I did not see two spruce-fir hostile to each other.
I did not see a willow sell his shade to the earth.
Elms endow their branches free for crows.
If I find a leaf my joy flourishes;
A poppy clump has baptized me in the flux of existence.
Like the wing of an insect I feel the weight of the early dawn.
Like a vase of flower I listen to the music of grow.
Like a basket full of fruits I have the fever to reach soon.
Like a tavern I am in border line of hangover.
Like a building at the seaside I am worried about the high eternal tides and webs.
As much as you want sun, as much as you want reconciliation as much as you want ramification."
Continues
As much as you want sun, as much as you want reconciliation as much as you want ramification.
I become consent by an apple;
And by smelling a camomile branch.
I Never mock if a balloon explodes and I do not snide if a philosophy believes in walking of a human on the sea water.
I can recognize the sound of feathers of quails, colours of the deer tummy, foot prints of mountain rams.
I am well familiar where rhubarbs grow,
When a starling comes, at which time a partridge sings, at which time an eagle dies,
And what is the moon in dream of the sleeping desert,
And the raspberry of pleasure under the teeth of intercourse.
Life is a beautiful ritual.
Life has wings and feathers as wide as death.
Life can jump as high as the love.
Life is not something that we can leave behind at the mantelpiece of boredom.
Life is the charm of hand that picks fruits from the tree.
Life is the vintage of black fig in the piquant mouth of the Summer.
Life is the dimension of tree to the eyes of insect.
Life is the experience that moth has in the darkness.
Life is the queer feeling that an emigrant bird has got.
Life is the whistle of a train blasting among the sleep of a bridge.
Life is seeing a small garden from the window pane of an airliner;
The news of rockets sent to the space;
Touching the loneliness of the moon;
The idea of smelling a flower in another planet.
Life is washing dishes.
Life is finding a penny next to the sewerage window.
Life is a mirror to the power of two.
Life is a flower to the power of eternity.
Life is multiplication of earth times number of our heart beat rate.
Life is the simple and identical geometry of breathing.
Where ever I am, let me be there.
Window, thoughts, weather, love and the earth is mine.
Who minds if some mushrooms of being alien grow.
I do not know why they say only horses are noble animals and the dove is pretty,
And why nobody keeps a vulture in a cage.
What is less of a red tulip in a clover bud?
Eyes should be washed.
Should look in another way.
Words should be washed.
Words should be wind, words should be rain by them.
Should close umbrellas.
And should go under the rain.
Must go under the rain with all the population of the town.
Must take the mind and memory under the rain.
Must meet the friend under the rain.
Must search for the love under the rain.
Must sleep with woman under the rain.
Must write things under the rain, and so talk and grow water-lily
Life means becoming wet and wet again.
Life is splashing in the ‘right-now’ pond.
Let’s take-off our cloths.
Water is just one step far.
Let’s taste the brightness.
Let’s weigh the night of a village, the dream of a sleeping deer,
Let’s understand the warmness of a stork nest.
Let’s not tread on the rules of green grass.
In a vineyard, let’s open the knot from our taste,
And let’s open the mouth when moon comes up in the sky,
And let’s not say that the night is a bad thing,
And let’s not say that the glow-worm has not any understanding of a garden’s insight.
Let’s have bread and the fairy-cheese in the morning,
And plant a sapling at each corner of speech.
And scatter seeds of silence between any two syllables,
And let’s not read a book that there is no wind blowing in it,
And not a book that in it the skin of a dew is not wet,
And not a book where cells has no dimension,
And let’s not request that the fly jumps from the finger tip of the nature;
And let’s not ask that a leopard goes out of the creation gate;
And let’s know that if there was not a worm life was less of something.
And let’s know that if there was not a thorn there was a hurt to the regulations of the tree.
And let’s know that if there was not a death our hands would be in search of something.
And let’s know that if there was not LIGHT, the very living logic of flight would become deformed.
And let’s know that before the corals, there was a vacuum in the mind of oceans."
Continues
"And let’s know that before the corals, there was a vacuum in the mind of oceans
And let’s not ask where are we now.
And go and smell the fresh petunia of a hospital.
And let’s not ask where is the fountain of fortune.
And let’s not ask why the heart of the truth is blue, (heart also means counterfeiting-Carlo DJ)
And not ask how was the nights of fathers of our fathers or how was the breeze at that time.
Behind us there is no living space.
Behind us there is no chirp of birds.
Behind us there is no wind blowing.
Behind us the green window of spruce-fir is closed.
Behind us dust has covered all childish toys.
Behind us there is only the fatigue of history.
Behind us memory of waves pour on the shore the cold shells of instalment.
Let’s go to the beach:
And spread the net in the sea,
And catch freshness from the water.
Take a gravel from the the earth;
And feel the weight of beingness
Let’s not say harsh words to the moonlight when we have a high temperature,
(Since, I have seen that in the temperature, sometimes I can touch the ceiling of heaven,
I have seen the goldfinch sings nicer;
Sometimes a wound in my feet has taught me the details of the earth;
Sometimes in my illness bed volume of the flower has been augmented,
And also diameter of an orange and the radius of a lantern)
And let’s not be frightened from the death:
Death is not an end to a dove;
Death is not a locust upside down;
Death is something flowing in the acacia’s thoughts;
Death has a residential in the nice climate of the mind;
Death, inside the substance of a village night, is talking about the morning;
Death comes to the mouth together with a vine of grapes;
Death is chirping in the larynx of a red robin;
Death is responsible for beauty of the butterfly wing;
Death sometimes picks basils from the garden;
Death sometimes drinks vodka;
Sometimes is sitting in the shade and watching us
And all of us know that the lungs of pleasure is full of oxygen of death.
Let’s not close the door to the living speech of destiny that
We can hear from the behind the fence of our voice.
Draw the curtain aside:
Let’s the feelings breath the fresh air;
Let’s adolescence goes and sleeps under any bush that desires;
Let’s instinct goes and plays;
And takes off his shoes chasing seasons and jumps over the flowers;
Let’s allow him to sing alone,
To write alone,
To go to street alone.
Let’s be congenial,
Be naive, whether under a tree or whether in a the branch of a bank.
Our job is not to discover the secret of the red rose
Perhaps our job is:
To be afloat in the charm of the red rose,
And camp on the other side of being knowledgeable;
Washing our hands in the charm of a leaf and then go to the dinning table;
Morning, when sun rises, become borne,
And fly our excitements,
And softly tap over the concepts of space, colour, sound, and windows,
And set the sky between two syllables of beingness;
Fill and empty the lung from the eternity;
Unload the cargo of knowledge from the shoulders of swallow over the ground
Take the name back from cloud,
From plain-tree, from gnat, from the summer;
Over the wet leg of rain go the height of kindness;
Open the door to the flesh of human, and to the LIGHT and to the green and to the insect.
Perhaps our job is:
That between water-lily and this century,
To run after signing the truth. “
Ends
The next story is about the Latin American priest "Camilo Torres." It is said that in police department of his country there was an interrogator in charge of preach the catholic activists. When one was become arrested the man used to cajole him, using bible education, that the arrested person was wrong in using violence and Marxist guerrilla tactics and God loves poor people and it is all destiny and such. He actually had a club of torture hidden in a corner and was abusing the language of religion against hungry stomachs that were using violence out of frustration for their legitimate rebellion. Once the Camilo Torres become arrested, the chief interrogator asked the glib colleague to persuade the reverent prisoner. The man said, "Well, if he was a slum boy frequent in a poor local church I could stitch together few verses of bible, but he is an educated high rank priest, knowing Latin, being in school in Vatican, even someday he might become a Pope."
Here, when one of THEN told me that I was not the “Perfect Human” since I called the Satan worshipers “mother f*cker,” that reminded me of preaching “Camilo Torres.”
Carlo DJ
I said that Satan is a being in the body of human. It is part of our nature in form of an antagonist prompt plotting "THING" inside each of us. When it becomes pure without any human part it comes into the society to demolish the organisation of human aggregate. So steel it looks like any other human: no horns, no hoofs, no tail. It finds a devil human as it calls him, "its brother." I call him the "Impostor-Christ." He help the Satan to sustain physically and in return help the Impostor to get his human ambitions. One thing that Satan targets is the family taboos related to incest. When I started to notice that I receive lucid dreams of oral incest by some unknown means from the unidentified agency and people hinted that I receive these dreams by that agency since " I was a potato." And since, "If it is good with people I should do it with my mother." And I was a married man more than forty year old. I said, “It is good to do with other people not to do with the mother.” (This does not mean that I was doing – or not doing – anything with anybody. I should have five children right now if it was not for these treatments.) Actually, they declared their own fate. And I took it as their name; the only name that I know from them. So I am the “perfect human” not the preacher.
Carlo DJ
I wrote that long poem. My wife liked to namesake our son, if we had one, after that poet. As noticed that how much I liked him. The coincidence was that the poet's family name was mine in another language, similar to English that some body's name be "Charles" and the other one's name is "Carlo". Before that I never had noticed it as the word was ancient and forgotten in usage. Now, instead I have created a blog page for writing the poetry that I can remember from him I English tongue and the page, say, as my son. I improve this one as well there. I did not notice that I should use tags for highlighting. The verse that is related to me as I said that it was bold face, is this:
"I saw an aviary without a door that the LIGHT was trying to fly out of it."
It is just me. I am the light. Also, from the point that he describes that,
"My town has been lost without any trace,"
He is depicting my daily life here. In the description of "aviary" we do not understand in our language if he means that, "the door is open -removed." Or he means that the cage has not any door at any point of the cage at all." I die when you become frustrated in semantic. In "Everybody Loves Raymond," Raymond said to his girl, "I wanted to ask you to marry me today!" See, it is not known if he wants just to ask her at that day or he wants to take her to registration office at that day. We only have to set up a great visual settings to enforce the real intention. One job of Satan is that to rip the global mind off the semantics. It takes the meanings from the sentences. People confuse it with being witty then it takes the meaning from the words and then it divides words to syllables out of their context. Then it takes alphabets. Then it takes shapes. Then it takes lines that intersect at far and then it takes horizon from the humanity
Carlo DJ
When I look at my wife I feel collique. She is like a graphic. She is so humiliated. For her birthday in next week she has booked a lonely trip to Lake district. At our first days I took her to three thousand meters above the sea. Three times she came up to near the place and she bowed since at that point she had to grip to a cable for a short interval to pass. Now, I feel nausea. She has to go so lonely. My daughter was persuaded by the commissioned peers to waste her savings in a trip to the new continent. As she does not tell me anything from the outside world, lest I catch and become annoyed she did not tell me her plan that she meant to go to southern America as well. She told me just very near to her trip. I become so annoyed that she cut two weeks of her Brazil sojourn. I am so panicked about Brazil. They stole her driving licence. By THEY I believe the Impostor who chase my daughter as my substitution after scrapping me. Then, they returned it to her. Then THEY stole her camera with all pictures that this wretched little girl had taken as the memory of her innocent trip. She sent a post card from Cuba as I wished to had one before the old man dies and asked her, THEY stole it here in the local post “For change of mental health services to better.” (Can you remember this quote? It is written when I was still young fifty three year old.) From the time that she got to Cuba I felt a bit safe. Then she went to US, not that safe as Cuba but at least a good infrastructure for communication with her. Now THEY again persuaded her to go back to southern America again and now she is at Peru. They create episodes of “darkness” and “blank-waiting” as the ritual of Satan for mind reading. Last I noticed that from her email to my wife and now they have stolen all her bags. Suddenly I felt earth was rounding my head. I become folded and pain and needles came to my left part of body. My blood pressure was 180/110. Then we started with my wife to blame each other and severely quarrel. Of course, we have a low voice since I cannot shout anymore. She told me that it is for a while that she does not know how to get rid of me. I felt more pity for her and more nausea. Well, one way is that I go back to my native country and die there. Doctors work more independently there and we do not have any GP at all. That has not any meaning there. Almost all the MD’s who are called doctor but officially are considered Master in Science degree after finishing compulsory period in rural areas find a resident position and become specialist equivalent to a PhD. There is no infrastructure as psychiatry or social workers intervention. On the other hand, I do not believe I can live more than two years here without medical care in spite of all the daily exercise that I do. If I go to doctors here they do not give any valid information to me. They only produce numbers such as 33 or 66 for me. They do not say if my heart or prostate is healthy or not. They are used to blind folding experiments and know it legal. They know it ethical that, “This, group of patients die and the other group will live longer!” And they are used to follow demands of the experiment and declare it with void lip service as, “the best interest of patient.” Even highest authority in a complex that I call, “Galileo vs. Church complex” obeys any s.o.b who calls himself an experimenter of science.
Again on the other hand, due to living at home I have got the opportunity to gradually expand my mission as Messiah: The godly warrior in fight of Satan. Going back may terminate creating that record in the history of human.
Carlo DJ
To fulfil that I followed example of "Swedenberg" the Swedish "Candidate-Christ." It is the second time I am using this phrase that I should add to my glossary. He had definitely encountered of face to face (close encounter of the third kind) with a fledgling Antichrist. Antichrist is a very unstable entity as I said like the element “Muonium” and could decay at some stage due to cosmological tidal waves to other meta-stable entities such as Hitler or Dr Shipman or fictional Dr Frankenstein. Even the impostor could be a more stable allotropy of Antichrist. There is a certain time span in the history that makes the conditions ripe for emergence of Antichrist. At that time the Messiah also emerges to fight back. He comes out of the fluctuations that webs back to the texture of universe. Global mind of humans, the sanctuary, creates him; hence, son of the God. When that THING emerged at the time of Swedenberg around there, you can see that Swedenberg also came out. He was very likely to become prophet and he went half the way with the same manner and the same ideas. He knew that he should leave the ordinary path of life. He wrote much to prove something, which was in the borderline of his consciousness: “A shout from a very far calls me.” I saw some one stopped me in the street and told me, “Some one must suck you!” Swedenberg had a similar experience when he was in London, “You are eating too much!” I believe Swedenberg due to his morality of the time has changed that sentence of mine to a polite, publishable sentence and there are other possibilities. He was epileptic in communication and if it was this present time that could be used as pretext for his persecution and giving a platform to Antichrist to rule over the world by making Swedenberg the target of Satanic virtual of human sacrifice. He for a couple of time or perhaps only once saw correctly remotely. I believe, it was a cheating of Antichrist to lure him into its trap. That happened for me as already mentioned that they brought a big tray of different foods and merry making and called it my wedding and I was cheated and I saw a wet dream induced by the Satan. Other likeliness is that that he started to get some level f seeing beyond. I recently have had experiences similarly in the last two or three years. I avoid them since I am worried lest it helps Antichrist to harm the world, as IT is parallel to me and only ontologically behind movement of my mind. I prevent a “merger” happens. Every note about Swedenberg and his writings mention that he was not a mad at all and was familiar with the knowledge of his time. He says that he has had many strange lucid dreams that were “out of the context” of his mind. He never broke his religion believing since his childhood to be able to recognize himself as Messiah and was not suffered as the social target of human sacrifice ritual. He as suffered internally of those lucid dreams and other episodes in loneliness receiving from the Antichrist. But socially, enjoyed a somehow normal life. As he had found some facts abut the origin of religion he advertised them as the reform for the religion of his time and his place.
Recently I have increased my activity to create things on the Internet due to cheap and free availability of them. These are very difficult for the Impostor to scuttle them. And at first THEY believed that I couldn’t find anyway out of that. But Bazaar of Ureshaleem and Makkeh now have moved into the Internet and my life has been terminated in the society and has been moved into the cyberspace. With that Antichrist and Impostor recently have recognized to prevent even my anonymous advertisement there. That is amazing. I stand there and talk to people, ask them to believe in me. And the Impostor comes with few soldiers and scatter them and I carry my cross over my shoulder, which are injured trudging up the road. And if even one person come ahead to give a glass of water to me the soldiers violently push him back. I have created a computer page
Carlo DJ
Continues
During the years if I had a technical question and I could find a name around as the expert I would email anonymously to him and ask the question and these geeks usually are very warm hearted and I am very humble and they answer. The impostor did not block these mails on the idea that I never can convince anybody in my story. My story is very cliché of a schizophrenics and Hollywood has been one thousand light years ahead of me in such stories. Recently I have created a technical web page, writing details of these experiences as a hobby and an assumed name. In one of them I mentioned one name just as the honour to credit of the problem solver. This caused that after that I have never received any email from any individual I contacted in person. More recently I am noticing more vile actions such as receiving out of context ads in a dashboard page, something very unusual. I understand that the Impostor has recognized that gradually some traffic will get to my place and its parallel page about Messiah and people would recognize that this is not a Hollywood cliché and like Swedenberg are very normal things embedded in a paranormal background. As the VOICE says, “They have a card hanged from a chain in their neck and they do not need any password. They sweep it into the machine and click “delete” and a box comes and asks, ‘if they are sure to delete’ and they confirm ‘yes’ and after that my writings like my daughter, my wife, my friends, my health, my degrees, my properties, my books my everything will disappear from the world.”
Carlo DJ
Then what remains of me? Definitely they’ll send my body for students of medicine's anatomy lab. They can give a vase of any ashes to my family. I had not a will and dignity in life how can I have dignity and will for death? A letter shown to me in my lucid dream remains in archive. Antichrist frequently uses that channel for legal procedures as well. “ Secretary of State deems it necessary that any information regarding the mentioned subject, available by the organizing committee of page one of this document, remains withdrawn from the mentioned subject and his family and from sight of any other inquiring body until fifty years or until this office revises the current position. All finances of the subject until his death will be administrated by the guardianship of page one to be done in the best interests of the subject. Contacts of the subject through any means and any forms including electronic dispatch of mail and Internet will be regulated by the mentioned responsible guardianship to prevent any harm of the mentioned subject to others interests and to his own well being. The decision of this office respects decision of experimenting body to sustain present level of care until second half of 2012 and set that year for the next revision. Signed”
History shows that this document is correct even to commas. Swedenberg also had such a sight.
Carlo DJ
At nights I have learnt that I lock my hands crossed over each other such that with the back knuckle of my fore fingers I can keep my ears not to hear anything while I am sleeping, for example a fire alarm or if a pipe drips or any harm that I might receive. My fingers do not open while I am sleeping. And all days I am walking with ear muff or mp3 or both. Again, there were few nights that I cautiously removed my fingers there was not any shouting even after ten minuets leaving my ears open even in early dawn that birds are singing and the windows were also open and I could enjoy my chime in my little garden. Then, yesterday morning I became more courageous. I said to me, “Yes, if they have got lost what should I do?” No you are wrong I do not go for eyes check up. I was thinking who is more likely to talk about knowing suffering me. And started to think how can I convince him to talk to a court of law. At this time suddenly somebody shouted, “Navigator c’mon!” Then all day until middle of the night some people were shouting harassing cues. It was after midnight that I noticed my daughter’s email regarding her baggage, while my wife and I were quarrelling some body came and shouted, “Navigator, Messiah!” If I go my wife will lose this humble equity. We are shared this property in name. Until the time that I was on job I could pay part of mortgage. Then when I became jobless at home for a couple of year I could pay a bit of share from small cushion cash. Then she became alone in earning and she went more under debt for keeping me isolated, spending for her brother college. Then she had to re-mortgage the house. To cut expenses she unwisely terminated the life cover insurance and none of my objections she accepted and now nobody insures me again. So if I die she gets nothing and we cannot go to solicitor to write the will since I become very shameful when they suffer me in front of her and I show very bad symptoms that make her ashamed. If I just leave and go she cannot do anything over shared property without my signature. If we want to sell, in such a credit crunch nobody buys the property with the right price. Everything goes for mortgage or solicitors or duties. That is the reason that she actually cannot get rid of me if not for emotional reasons. For me I always think why this happened to her. I love her like a dog that loves his owner, because I need her so much and because I love her and because I am Messiah.
Carlo DJ
Last day my wife went to her trip. She called me last night, sad. She called me today and she was crying. She can't have a funny time. So she is crying in her birthday. I even cannot tell her that I love her. That makes her mad. I write these things since "the nutty survivor" is just joking. It is just a prank and they talk in an elated state and calls themselves "we" and they'll say to world that they are using humanist methods. Why, then what is the other method? I mean what is the non-humanist method of psychiatry? Harassing my daughter has become a frequent thing similar to mine. Everyday she send a message to her mum and this wretched violated woman becomes upside down of a new trick that they do to my daughter. They do these to cure what. "I publish for changing to better" who changes to better? When my wife comes back my transformation would be completed. I'll be a complete dog and she will be deeply broken crushed and smashed to pieces.
Carlo DJ
I tried to create a page for the "Critical Psychiatry" on the Wikipedia. The Wikipedia editors started to send warnings and deleting. They are like this, say, if you want to introduce a group who believe earth is flat, because knowledge to existence of such a group is a an encyclopaedic piece of information, then the Wikipedia editors ask you to cite references to sources that proves the earth is flat because they are concerned about the "facts." They confuse the contents with the pointers to the contents. But the template is there and also blank pages for people with novel ideas regarding to approaching the phenomenon of hearing voices. I'll do mine in another corner. Perhaps one day a Wikipedia for the masses should be created, too.
Carlo DJ
I have to attract some attentions my situation. Hence, I have created pages on the Internet to make my appeal louder. Physically, I am in a very bad conditions. With slightest quarrel my blood pressure rockets about to near twenty and I feel very bad in my left side. I started from just the idea of being Messiah. I did not have the idea that I am Messiah at first. I believed that I had discovered what was the experience of Jesus Christ when somebody as a very devil enemy was asking people to suffer him. I had the idea of an anthropologist regarding a primitive ritual of human sacrifice. Then I started to generalize it when deviants or satanic subcultures in our modern time commit un explainable crimes with no motivation but the orgy of death of another human most of the time in the most painful way. A best example- no I do not mean the best- was a Dr Shipman I noticed during recent years was confusing healing with killing. Then my reasoning and my situation took me to the logical conclusion that I am not simulation of Messiah. A real simulation is not a simulation anymore. It is the real things that happen. I have injured eyes, injured GI injured Card-Vasc, injured muscle-skeletal, itching patches in different parts of my body. They might take my picture when I am doing exercise in my confinement as a witness to my good health and lively situation. If I do not do that in three days all my posture collapses into chronic pains. Death on the cross means suffering the victim until he dies of thirst hunger bad weather and injury for the lesson of others or for the revenge or for the satisfaction of Satan. That actually is happening to me without I can do anything and that machine of mind reading acts as my shackle and my gibbet and god knows how much it is beautiful to behold that at a certain times that machine has asked people to inform me about it. It is so beautiful, consistent with phallus erection and bow butt offer of respect in primitive primate clans with creation and pain that I see the whole universe in all of its uniformity without being able to give that observation to other humans. It is so beautiful that I could not continue my story. Another simulation is that at the time of prophets, their enemies provoked by centres of power harass them cut from food warmth and socialisation, clapping and shouting and throwing stone when those blessed souls of creation want to contact them. This never happens to lunatics. See in this country when have you seen that people systematically on the request of authority and paid by them go and harass a peaceful man of family. How can it happen that I have been confined in the cul-de-sac similar to Mohammad and Jesus Christ. Mohammad's wife was a wealthy woman who lost all her wealth due to not being allowed to continue her business and died out of hunger in the historically famous cull-de-sac story. If I survive then I make my voice louder. Yanis, the simple heart, who was defending the Devil said that in this country expression of ideas is free and one can safely believes and tells the other that he is Messiah and invite them to his idea, while stay peaceful and does not commit a crime. He is wrong. These machineries work when that person is fake. When he is really Messiah then everything will be upside down. Here they empower people and give them freedom to make them able to count money and buy a coke for themselves. They have created experts who can cope with lunatics to incorporate them into the society into their families. They destroy evidence of exhibitionism of a high rank judge to help him to cope with his middle age crisis and inhibitions then three years I should beg to send me to my privately paid doctor.
(continues)
So simulation of Messiah is actually Messiah. I have frequently has said how much people contemporary to prophets were talking intellectually. Alexandria Academia at the time of Jesus was as free minded, deep, and flourishing and influential in the society as the present day Harvard. Mohammad enemies used to call him "mossahar." Ask an Arab psychiatrist what is the word for manic in Arabic. You might say that psychiatrists believe that Moses, Jesus, and Mohammad were clinically ill. Well, this is not the case. If a psychiatrist says such thing people do not accept that idea as a diagnosis. They simply say that he is an atheists or such.
Carlo DJ
I have created pages to make these writings in a more integrated style by redact and consolidating the patches related together. I have the sketch I drew on my eighteenth birthday in 1969 as the “Face of Impostor-Christ” that now I call and also I have called another sketch I drew in 1972, “The Face of Anti-Christ” here. You can see Picasso was only a little better than me. I have the poetry that I wrote here at that page too all the time being enhanced. That poetry is written in 1964. That year is much ahead of Berkley and Stanford Hippies. You see that a village boy in a third world un-developed country says things that after ten years people intellectuals of an ultra-developed wealthiest society of the world say out of the frustration from a war. I knew a professor of sociology in my place graduated from Sorbonne and once his washings have been dried on the washing line at the same sunny day that Jean Paul Sartre was drying his on the line and he always used to say that story as a credit. He was explaining to the students that these hippies who are passing the roads amid the country to the Kathmandu, they are in this unorthodox appearance due to the fact that they have been fed up of machines and this happened to them as an incident of machine life. Machine means in my native language a car. Students were amazed that why so many healthy young people were hit by a car. The Professor slyly laughed and said, “No, they were tired because they were drivers!”
Carlo DJ
Normally I do not write if I feel that a “merger” with darkness might happen. That is the Antichrist or the Impostor might take life by me becoming engaged with them. I have to wait until that contingency passes. This time I was busy of a coup d'état for a week and so. If you remember H. G. Wells’ The Country of Blind where the man, called Nunez who had gone there from the non-blind world tried, in vain, to get the power in hands and convince the blind that there is something as sight. All those operation concluded that he sobs and beg the blind for the food. When my wife came back from her conceived pampering of her birthday, I noticed that she actually had become one year older. She was promising that she would going to learn how to have fun in future if any such pampering happens to her: “ I should not go to restaurants. I should not do this. If I go I should not sit in that direction. I should not,… I should not,…” I go to colic and nausea state when I want to hug her and every minute I crave for that. When I want to eat especially in a glut way due to stress or I want to use something or spend couple of pounds. Then I said to me I am going to have a gift for her. I tried to see if now after six years is it possible for me to claim benefits on-line with minimum contact. I calculated that I have lost a total of some twenty thousand pounds of benefits for three hundred and thirty three weeks of my unemployment so far, including council tax and free medicine and other things. I am also physically disable due to prolapsed disk of my neck that I could claim benefits for and take the responsible person to the court. I could not go for those. I later write that what jobs I was after and was deprived to get due to this intervention. I assume that I just was not after any job. Hence, I went online to see what could I do. No, alas I could not follow anything. I should talk at least for an hour through telephone if they do not take me to face to face interview that they definitely will do. What can i reason for not going to work. Whatever I say they find a way to foil me until they send me to lunatics asylum. I know they want to have that in my recent dossier such that it seems that they were treating a mentally ill not to trafficking of a family for Satanic ritual of human sacrifice in a place which is famous as the capital of Satanist cults in the world. So I continue to colic and nausea when I watch these two wretched women. Perhaps an anthropologist reader knows that in primitive tribes they mildly poison the sacrifice subject until he/ she dies of colic, diarrhea and vomiting. Mummies of human sacrifices have been found in south America of such death. It is believed that Jesus Christ was fed a poisonous tea-like fluid on crucification and was pricked by sharp objects. It is similar to the unique mummy found in Britain as the subject of human sacrifice. When I was a child I knew an old man pierced in the ear. It was very unusual that a man in my native country had a ear pierced. His parents had five daughter and no son. They vowed based on an ancient obsolete ritual that if they get a son they make him “slave” of a martyred saint. They got the son and when he was two years they pierced his ears and hanged ear rings as the sign of being a slave. When he was seven there were old ladies knew how to rob the body of the child with ashes such that people can pierce his body with pins and needles without injuring him. People gathered and did that to the boy. They believed that makes the “Saint” happy and sells back the boy from him as a free person afterward. Man could clearly remember that experience. Then they changed his name the name’s of the “saint” and removed the ear-ring from his ears. That was at 1915 . So it is not necessary to go and open the graves on remote mountains and find evidence. It is what they are doing to me and to my family covered with gesticulations of a civilised society.
Carlo DJ
ProfX writes to ProfY to compare his “model” of psychiatry. The Impostor has created that sentence such that to bribe the controversy side and intimidate me with two common place phrases of “professor” and “model” In France even a kindergarten teacher is called a professor. But for the “model”, it is better to remember the story of Camilo Torres, I wrote in previous comments. Model means something abstracted from the reality with redundancies removed for the better study. You do not call a chaotic randomly changing outrage a model. It is called terrorism. Even terrorists have regards for the third parties. I know there were terrorists who blow the grenades in their own hands when their targets were accompanied by non-combatant individuals at the engagement. I just wrote about the word “model” This is not the discussion of the model used for abusing my life. That already has emerged and will be clear in the course of future history. Now, my daughter has come back from her journey abroad. She was persuaded by the Impostor through the peer pressure to do this trip. My daughter is the daughter of a white slave trafficked for Satanic curiosity. She has grown up as a slave in a house that her father lives in such a great misery and should not be compared with the free children of a powerful nation that do not surrender not even one individual of them even for ordinary crimes to other nations. They have roots and are supported by all the means od their nation wherever they go. Now she is very ill due to this journey. My wife has taken her to doctors. Now like my cat they have started to pass messages of Satan to us and following its “model” to give results of blood test in numbers such as 3.3 and keep us in blank patience and talking non-sense instead of doing their jobs. They are in a mood of playful as if they are doing a prank and if I find the courage and protest suddenly they change the mood and threat us. I write these things on this day of third of August of 2009 such that future people know that what is this model all about. The last thing is that even the freshmen in medical schools know what is behind the models and new methods and breakthroughs in psychiatry. It is not anything about the mentally ill.
Carlo DJ
The other thing is that I wrote an email for a gentleman in the law society. I already had sent an email for him regarding a general question about laws governing mentally ills in this country. It was middle of a working hours. He promptly replied. I sent this one on the weekend. When I do such things in a weekend the Impostor has time to arrange to put its model into the practice. I frequently had sent that email again and again without bouncing or any reply. That gentleman, knows part of his job to answer these types of questions. He is in charge of that duty. I also do not receive any reply from technical people I used to ask questions. It seems my email has been barred from receiving any answer. The lucid dream that I saw clearly showed such an arrangement. That lucid dream is the phallus of the ruler shown to force me to comply.
Carlo DJ
I am writing like mad hatters there is no surprise. I am swallowing gradually all the amalgamates in my teeth. I walk in the house without under-pants due to itching. On the other hand I have to put on sneakers. Sole of my feet becomes painful when I remove my shoes and walk. I have big red earmuffs that make me a handsome "Shovallieh" for my wife. During last fifteen years I have bought only one pair of shoes and two suites. I have bought sneakers and jeans and a couple of jumpers. I have kept shirts and old fashion ties in case that they want to take me to police again. I have an old suite smells of light petrol and moth balls in its “body bag” It is now very big for me due to the fact that I am losing weight. I was fifty two years when I bought it. Girls bought me a combat trousers but I do not have anything to put into the so many pockets. I do not go anywhere to carry things. I even do not have a name anymore. My beautiful name, "Phoenix" I cannot remember much. It names nobody any longer. I do not need a driving licence any passport or ID cards. I am the lamb that is killed for the satisfaction of Satan.
Carlo DJ
The GP has asked my wife and daughter to see him at Three Thirty this afternoon. Then he has sent them for urgent examination to A&E. At half past ten my daughter have been visited by a resident after seven hours sitting in the waiting room. She has asked my wife to buy dinner for my daughter and they have kept her for further examinations. Seven hours blank waiting.
Carlo DJ
They kept my daughter in hospital but next day they said that the doctor would come at 11:30 to write the letter and they can come home. Then they said doctor was busy and comes at 3:30. At three thirty they said in an hour. At lat around 6:pm they came home without any idea that what was wrong. Today after a week they should send the letter. They keep us in blank waiting and lack of information. And my daughter had a high temperature cycles almost until yesterday. My wife and I only guess and rush to the Internet for more information and fighting with each other and saying that it is nothing. That pattern of "next morning - 11:30- 3:30 -late afternoon" is something I know for twenty years now. That made a young, social man a loner old dementing grumbling man. Things happens to me similarly for example suddenly I saw my finger livid and swollen I cannot figure out what has happened. My wife only looks blankly, panicked at me or just we start to guess, like my beloved cat. At the end my wife or my daughter and recently both become punished.She loses some shifts and has to pay thousands of pounds for twenty hours my daughter in the hospital and perpetrators have a lively, mocking jocular face excited by participating in the "psychic" experiment of psychiatry. I do not know what part of this story is anything similar to “just a joke.” In the story of honourable nurse already I mentioned frequently, the perpetrators pretending couldn’t remember anything about their villainy described by the article of Asylum Magazine have a mocking jocular defiant face. What part of their behaviour in ruining of life of an honest nurse was a prank or a joke.
I said this experience that I had, intervention of an unidentified agency in my life appeared to me that had different phases. When I came in this country I noticed that it intervene destructively through the society in my life but very mild not like my native country. When I was detained in 28-days observation in hospital I noticed nothing there and when I came out almost I noticed few episodes and I convinced myself as pure coincidence. I believed that legally they could not intervene when at that official place of assessment they did not notice any symptom of mental illness. In 2001 I had to go to worker tribunal against my employer. He was a gangster getting work from the insider in the customer company. He had broken my neck, made me physically disabled for the rest of my life and just had f*cked me for four years in any occasion. I had a lawyer from my insurance in Bradford, the famous gentleman very familiar to cases of “Niagaras” I wrote all details to them and they accepted that I was correct in my claim of constructive dismissal. But, I did not feel happy to have lawyer so much far from my home, especially that I could not move from the bed or drive or sit in a train. Later I started to walk and walked longer and faster until somehow I recovered from that injury. But at that time I could not. A Hemel called me that their barrister would come to my home and talk to me to transfer documents from Bradford and if we lose the insurance accepted to pay to them. And when the man came he was of proper age and talking loud and confident of winning and rude I believe he does not eat the opponent he just swallow them in whole. Two weeks to tribunal he wrote a letter that he has been moved to another company and somebody else would handle the case. How could it be? You pay for the ticket to see performance of Britney Spears then they say that she does not come and “Peggy fat ass of the next door brothel” entertains you? The new gentleman invited me to go to his office and talk to him to become ready for the tribunal and it was a year after dismissal and I had started teaching in the university. I should read what he had prepared for the court until I got to a sentence, “I am not mentally ill and never have been a mentally ill” He stopped me and asked me to read that sentence again. Suddenly after few years I became alerted again. I told him why he had included that sentence without any reason and he should omit it. He argued and then promised to cancel it but he had a familiar face. I had written all about the man being a confident and asked him to discuss that in front of one representative of D.O.T present in tribunal. At the tribunal when I was reading my defence suddenly I got to the sentence that “I am not mentally ill and never have been.” In contrast there was no mention of the story of the man. The lawyer did not listen to defence of the other party with an expensive barrister. He even did not try to win. He was impatient to finish a two days court and receive the insurance fees regardless of the result. It is one chapter of a book I write so outlined. The unidentified agency had informed him, I believe, that I am mentally ill and he wanted to cue to me that I had any serious case. What about the man who was a gangster. Well this is a country of scientific ethics and intervening ethics means keeping the secrete of gangsters when you are being informed in sphere of scientific experiments. Net result is that ethics are for the respect of gangsters and not the under-trodden.
So I lost the in the tribunal and the con man won. and my solicitor also wins the fee for the easy job of just sitting next to me. During the course of cross examination in an occasion I said to the chair of tribunal that the quoted phrase from the defendants was not within my "semantic." When I said that the chair became crimson. I couldn't figure out. He could not hold himself together. He said, "Now he is doing grammar for us!" while looking to the others. He called me, "he!" How a foreigner knows that this word is pompous and show-off. I am a foreigner not an ethnic minority. I still enjoy idioms and grammar points and news-monger intonations, constables who walk in gender pairs, people who move written slogans, trade unionist who crave to visit the Soviet Union, Mr Brawn who looks like Patrick McGoohan and his wife plays piano. I have a stiff and limited vocabulary. I know only one shade of any word; at most two or three or ultimately in a gray scale. Words for natives are colourful with hues and saturations and three dimensional. In a legal dispute I use any word indiscriminately from my meagre pallet. So in front of his own tribunal he committed a genuine racial discrimination clearly with all details as described in law. He finalised his judgment at that point without actually listening to other party over-reacts or facts of the case. He has reflected that in the verdicts he sent me in written form later without noticing it. My cousin Wolfgang Strauss could read it between the lines.
Carlo DJ
Recently, in my lucid dreams, that voice of the most profane gives me sign of my death. My health is very bad and I am in urgent need to be seen by an independent doctor. The patches of dry brown skin have become worsen now. First itching started from the scrotum in December 08. Now it has stretched further back and around. Also one in my left armpit. One has appeared in my nape, back of my head under hairs with some button-like things very itchy. From there it has stretched on my left neck where once was my silver plated beautiful dog-chain. It became so irritating that I took off the chain. It is dark brown and shrinkage as a skin burnt on fire. There are other itching points on my shin, in corner of my eye, in my chin. I feel tense on the skin of my arms. I could not find anything helpful and hope giving on the Internet, too. I am in the hands of an ape that in its head only a small bulb is fitted. That small bulb is what IT can read from my human mind. Almost all the time I am tearful, but for few minutes that I do a little exerciser and in front of these two wretched maids. When I look into face of my wife my melancholy becomes hundred folds. I do not go to a doctor until the pain becomes intolerable. At first I thought the crucifixion of Jesus had been only a social phenomena and a mock. Now, I understand that when you fall in the hands of enemy of human, the fiend has no feeling for any of your suffering. There is a phrase in what The Impostor declared here as the “Nutty Survivor.” That betrays something strange for the future believers. The Impostor says “cannot smoke to the end without physical assistance.” This “physical assistance” is important point. The Impostor knows that that thing can become physical with my body. I believed when Job says that Satan curse him with dirty words and physically suffers his body he meant that painful physical experience that I have had during past twelve years and it is beyond any explanation with this gibberish language (now it is not that severe anymore. I have reduced it with different exercises, yoga, Zen etc.). I said to me those cannot bring skin wounds. Now, I understand that he actually suffered those as well, and stories are not imaginary and symbolising those voodoo pains. The Impostor from my past had a big carnival plan on the supposition that after throwing me out of the school, I start to roam around and he can ask people to join the band, keep me seated for hours on a chair in public places waiting and people come and rape my honour. I have tried to blank futile destructive patience already with no goal being achieved. I am a butterfly in the jar waiting to die out of suffocation in the hands of a monster without anybody notice the monster. It has told me that my bad mental masturbating habit is my breathing that should be “stopped.” Then what else can I do? So no public carnival happened. The school head told me that in “three months I will be tranquil back to school and he will call me for planning my weeks.” There is not even any sign of least alleviation of any burn out system let alone “tranquillity!” And now it is seven years. There is no such solution even to a genuine human intervention. My symptoms are so shameful now that I cannot talk with my daughter not even just for a humble “three minutes!” let alone standing with strangers. With my wife I can for half an hour if we talk alone and radio and TV remains off. If I was not in such a plight of incarceration she was one of the people who could help alleviating such symptoms in a person who was not in the hands of that profane mind reader the enemy of human. It takes few hours to eliminate those symptoms if the listener do not reinforce them. It is one shout and that is all.
(continues)
It is one shout and that is all. Do you listen, Yanis, it is not that in the industrialised world psychiatry gives pills, or ECT or lobotomy or amputation of organs or straitjackets that prevents recovery. It is due to the discipline of psychiatry in whole. There is not a third way between psychiatry and anti-psychiatry. It is denying the right of choice and leave the dogs unleashed and the stones fastened that prevents any fruitfulness comes out of psychiatry. I have been, apparently seven years subject to non-mitigating intervention of psychiatry of Britain supposedly only because I have shown symptoms of de-personalization of teachers burn out. They say these are symptoms of bipolar something at the substructure and by eliminating that “disease” of substructure through using “insight-cognitive-behaviour-humanist-psychotherapy- dot dot dot” symptoms will go- There is not such a non-sense in reality of the world except in wet dreams of the Impostor on delusion to become Pasteur of psychiatry. Not only those symptoms do not recessed but some new symptoms and physical ailments have been added. Not only that but my wife now suffers god knows how much of trauma.
Carlo DJ
In the movie “The Collector”, the imprisoned Miranda restlessly was trying to find a way to escape from the monster. Until, it concluded to her indirect death. This attracted me to use it allegorically as the story of my life. The monster just was not doing anything. He even was better than my incarcerator. He at least was providing bread for his prey. In one occasion she tried to attract the attention of neighbours by allowing the water in the bathtub to flow over the floor and down the stairs when noticed some neighbours had popped in for some flooding problem outside. I am trying to do that. I have created a website with the help of all the team, Leonardo, Wolfgang, Manny, Ma’Dieu, all are there. The Grand Unified Theory has been projected in the life of salmons is fully depicted in pictures. I used to understand things from my childhood if they were in drawing. If I can draw something I can understand it to its end. Otherwise, I become catatonic. I also have put first three chapter of my projected book there. If I live it become some six to eight hundred pages. I have done its skeleton in a hundred pages to be filled with meat. I did it two years ago. Once I inadvertently deleted parts of it and took time to recreate it. Now I have gained enough experience in LaTeXing. It is like weaving a carpet, the art I did when I was a child. Messiah’s Decimal calendar is also available there. It is based on my newly offered standard. Year is divided in 20 months. Day is divided in 20 hours. Hour is divided into 100 minutes, and Minute into 100 seconds. There I have put tools to convert Gregorian calendar to that calendar. It is fun. Trees die erected.
Carlo DJ
That shows that I am consistently true in my assertions. I should repeat my story of a bomb now in more details. I and a Mr Pour and a Mr Ashi went to the highest authority of my previous country at that time, a Mr Jani, for a meeting. Mr Ashi was brother of Mr Jani’s wife. Mr Pour was a far relative of him and almost a near relative after a marriage. So as already I explained everything was inside the clan, except me who was going to become a single person nation. The meeting was about a military project. I took the opportunity to attract the attention of Mr Jani to the fact that the next door hooligan in war with us was apparently making a bomb. My idea was that he would receive one as gift from somewhere to test a tactical low yield on a candidate city of ours that I could guess its name, just for the study of owners. He was the only man in the world who could commit such an atrocity. Mr Pour firmly and seriously objected to my proposal in the meeting. But immediately I understood the welcoming reaction of the boss, Mr Jani. As later I understood, Mr Jani in a month allocated eight hundred million dollar for starting the study, committed the commander of army to be responsible in person. But they did not come to me. They started from their own clans. This has been verified by Russians. Even Condoleezza Rice hinted to that meeting in a way to pretend a depth of information. The story is long after that. A family-less man could not take advantage of great opportunities that after that meeting could be available, until Mr pour came personally to me and asked me to join to them. I responded, “Do you want to make a bomb for Mr Jani, a corrupt money lover?” I was just like Leo Szilard in behaviour, eccentric, first proposing then opposing and while opposing instructing how it can be done, due to genuine interest in engineering of things. Later I learned about Szilard. I said they should work in production of norma-saline that people had to buy from imported black market. Time showed that I was right in what I said. But Mr Pour, almost my best friend in entire life disappeared for ever. And in few months I was cleared to be used for human trafficking. By instinct of murderers they knew that as a lunatic caged and tagged I never get the opportunity to assert such an influence on the events. Where ever I want to assert my human part a ProfX writes to a ProfY about the psychiatry model he is using for treatment of “Einstein type schizophrenia.” saying, “He is acting out” or “performing!” I do not know which one is correctly conveying that stigma. My office mate, a best friend and university cohort of present day president, also a colonel of guard and teacher of guards university said to me, “Now go where ever you like. The land of God is very vast!” He had been instructed to entice me to escape, actually to be trafficked, to abroad. The said Mr Pour later climbed to position of cabinet minister and now a full professor with hundreds of publications and I believe with good quality. If the future reader combines these names with a Dr Ass and St Andrews, and focus, he finds a part of the story witnessed after a month but the story teller seems has not understood fully what was the project. He has an agenda which contradicts my human time values.
Carlo DJ
In the vast land of God where it was better to traffick me than here? I said what happened in my legal dispute in the court with the judge. Once, few years ago when we our house was overlooking the Hatfield field where people come and play football or other games a little boy, age of my daughter savagely knocked our door. I went to door and asked him what did he want. He complained that my daughter has shown him a bad finger. I sincerely apologised and said that my wife and I were sorry and regretful for such and we ground our daughter for that. He left. My daughter cried that the boy was saying very rude comments from the field while she was only watching that place and we should not apologise. I told her that it needed sustaining a dispute with the child in a native way and the only thing that I have learned in English in a dispute to say that I should apologise. This is for a little boy. How can I dispute in a court of law when all of a suddenly, impromptu, I get to the phrase that “I have never been a mentally ill?” They know that it is not possible for me to build a five hundred words defence off hand. They took me to police station I only could say, “I apologise sincerely!” They had instructions to teach me that I should not apologise if I have done not a wrong doing. I said again, “I apologise!” My wrong doing as the carrier of the most profane and its assistance The Impostor, say is having the bad habit of breathing and it does not “stop!” And I have to apologise all the time for that. When I look into the crushed humiliated face of my wife, I do not say, “I love you!” I say, “I apologise” When I remember her alone with my daughter for a “jacket potato” lunch in a pub, I do not remember a bit of love in my heart only I have to apologise. When my daughter fails from going to LSE by 79.66 out of 80 marks, I say I apologise. When her boyfriend does not kiss her but like Sodom & Gomorrah people wants to f*ck the angels instead, I say, “I apologise” Then I remember when my step mother or my step sisters were beating me savagely at the end it was me who had to apologise for allowing to breath for another day. This is the dialectic of Messiah, his suffering, for the original sin of human: “breathing!”
Carlo DJ
You might be surprised that any agency of allegedly psychiatry might purport that “breathing” is something undesirable. Well, as usual it is not difficult to trace such a claim. The Impostor easily uses never falsifying jargonism of psychiatry for lay people. He says, “narcissist personality” for encapsulating of that. Instead of saying he loves to live and breath, he says that he has got a narcissist personality and already Hollywood has depicted the narcissists eat flesh of human alive and bomb the crowded malls and make missile inside the mountain caves to destroy the civilisation and Hitler was also a narcissist since he had not courage to terminate his life at the last moments. So a limping old man becomes evil. This is the temple of Satan.
Carlo DJ
Now, gradually the itching burning points have extended to round my ears, my eyelids and my jaws. My eyes become blurred after ten minutes on computer. I sit in front of my computer and drop my head down on the table. back of my neck and in scrotum region something oozing. My bowel now happens once in seven days and as if labouring of a pregnant woman. I woke up to check for the worst on the Internet. The best soothing diagnosis was insulin resistance. Now, I have started a diet of no bread, no sugar no any multi-ose. I already am just under eleven stones, have a couple of pounds for emergency. I am losing those now. See, the psychiatry trafficked my family and me for doing a breakthrough treatment on me. They have all details of my life in every moment as it has happened and they know every moment of my motions and my thought and plans. They have had a full total access to my family my income my health issues, everything and everyone I know. They are doing their treatment for enough twenty years or perhaps more. It is more than half of my life that I had before. They have available any facility they ask, but at last it came like other claims of psychiatry in the industrialised modern nations to disaster, death, illness, incarceration, loss of family life as if I was a poor attacking lunatic in 1895 in Germany, just took me there and chained me in a cold, dirty, dark cellar battling with typhus and syphilis. At the beginning I was only a bit giggling and now I am a full rank lunatic with all symptoms and my wife and my child was so healthy in every respect and we were full of hopes for a future, and I had some less than half a million dollars in properties and now we have quarter of million dollars in debt. Now all of us have had a dark space full of disasters at the back and nothing but darkness in front. We are livid forced living in a dangerously hostile society that even we cannot find where is the building of ministry of justice and who is in charge of any legal complaints. We have heard different words with unknown job descriptions as police, Scotland yard, sheriff of county, ombudsmen, QC, old bailey, privy, watchdog, peers, public enquiry, Lord Justice, secretary of state, crown service, home office, minister of justice, tribunal, liberty, amnesty, coroner. The one who is in parliament making law, executes the law, and judges for that law. At the end doctors get permission for intervention in private matter of people from a commission of ethics, not from the people’s attorney. I have not heard about people’s attorney at all, if any. I do not know who is in charge here whether knowing language or not.
Carlo DJ
This gentleman has used “Dr Sokal” as a proxy for bullying. Dr Sokal action in creating non-sense and forcing it to be published by a post-modern journal of culture is not done in a clean way. It is like some dork bullies in school who gang and pin a piece of paper to the back of boy written as , say, “For sale” or such funny things. All laugh but the boy becomes embarrassed. That magazine has explained the reason for printing, but dorks now do not leave it. From account of “Sokal” I understood that he is does not appreciate the virtue of being knowledgeable much. For example, he protests why the journal could not recognise his proposition that “the gravity is not objective” is nonsense, since if anybody has such a belief could go to Sokal’s apartment at twentieth floor and test it. Regretfully, the editors of the journal admitted that such a test exists. Such a test does not exist. It is like the kicking of a stone by Dr Samuel Johnson when he heard that Berkeley did not believe that anything exist out there. Kicking of Dr Johnson did not settle anything since we do not have any proof that Dr Johnson and the stone and pain of kicking exist out there. This was the Berkeley idea. It is called idealism. It means the world out there is made out of realities and no reality exists out of our mind. And if we fall from Sokal’s flat there is no mind and there is no world. This gentleman who has used Sokal to frightened people of consequences of not knowing quantum gravity and become doomed similar to editors of culture magazine. We say in our native language that, “He f*cks with the c*ck of other people!” So if you do not behave he brings Sokal to sort you out. Using Dr Sokal’s quote that “We are weak and our only weapon is truth and facts.” means that before you examine my claim you should accept that it is fact and truth (uses as synonym) and means that he does not listen to you since he is already in possession of truth.
Carlo DJ
I forgot to say that those who pin the paper to back of another boy are very worried that on the way to classroom he notices it and removes it and spoils a planned day. Dr Sokal as is explained by the editors of the culture magazine has had such a worry, I guess. I said this gentleman and perhaps Sokal who is much different with him used the “facts” and “truth” as synonyms. “Facts” are those that Sokal observes from examining “nature.” But truth; all the idea about the differentiation of “modern” and “post-modern” is round around this word. Modern started from the renaissance put the job of truth finding out of the scope of scientists and confined it to finding the facts to solve the problems of living. They never engaged themselves in attributing values to those finding. It is not anything confusing or said by confused people. Truth is something behind the facts that should be inferred by distancing from the facts and putting them in a texture of interpretation. It is like a movie and a camera. In theatre you are in position of camera. In the movie on the screen there are facts: people shoot to each other and the man jumps in front of bullets. But you are here to interpret them in a distance; no bullets come and nothing happens but the most complex being of the universe who has created those scenes. That gentleman also has called him “weak.” Yes, I know that Sokal is weak, but that one is not weak. He is in front line of the one of the, or perhaps the most suppressive tools of vanquishing suppressive administration of society as a general of that army and not a foot soldier. His job is to proliferate the instances that helps the establishment to detain more and more citizen in the best possible way: without sentence, without court, without time frame, receives the highest salary with almost doing nothing that change the situation of any of the detainees even in the entire length of his carrier towards retirement. You are not weak, mate.
Carlo DJ
But Dr Sokal is weak. I have a book about the elliptic curves, a difficult one and if you are interested in that you are at the start of your PhD in maths. When you read the introduction, it is declared as, “suitable for all students of maths physics and engineering with little background of first year maths and eagerness to follow the book and whatever extra they need is self-contained in the book. Many similar stories you can read from recruiting advertisements on the websites of maths professors on the internet, especially in the US that you can select many courses freely towards graduation (which is a good practice). with all these glib at the end you have eight students, two are from china two are from India and four from local people, all very gorgeous with just a bit of acne and next door they are teaching history of Dadaism and it is a big theatre with video taking facility with three hundred students and you can count one hundred belly button studs in front rows and more at back. That is the shop of poor Sokal and this is his next door shop. He has no guaranteed students. Those courses just kill you until you pass. and again the successful apprentice is successful in having that poor shop again. I write this since next to composition of Mr Weak another gentleman did not know what to do with those who are danger for well being and security of others. He believed that he should use PET device. If Mr Sokal knew that there such places that you can guarantee injecting people into your shop, he would not seek attention in that way. Some body who does maths have the dangerous gift that he is all the time elated. When you do it just go up but if it resist you are done. All the time you go up and down.
Carlo DJ
The other point that I found interesting was that some users and consumers believed and were aligned with traditional, coercing psychiatry. This claim is not false. It is like some slaves believed in slavery. Some serfs believed in remaining serfs. Some peasant believed in working for Lords. Some foreign citizens believe in remaining colony. Some French believed in Nazi’s occupation. So we should observe their choices as a humanist approach. But you might find this argument a bit far. The truth is that in place that I was living all consumers impose their choices. They ask for appointment from psychiatrist sometimes six months ahead and go into queues from five in the morning to see the doctor and if they do not be agreed with the psychiatrist then they change to another one and if they could not find none helpful they do not go to any. You can ask WHO to go and make a research that how many murder is done by the lunatic in each year. And they are very honest and cooperative and open if the politic not be involved and they keep records of Police and courts very carefully and if they see a foreigner interested they bend down to be fudged. Here they think that if they remove the coercion they cannot earn anymore and which lunatic ever has gone to a psychiatrist voluntarily to pay him. See, that letter was written by two traditional psychiatrists. It was full of logical flaws and ex falso.
Carlo DJ
In future The Impostor might say that I have not been scientifically of a significance to participate in that project. The detailed story I have written in my blue book during 1991 to 1994 shows something else. I was very important and significant. If I was among them, by now they had the bomb. I needed only a woman in my life to wait for me at home at evening and I could move a mountain during the day, and I had her by 1987. They say that marriage has not any effect on psychosis. Well, I was no psychosis or such difficult words. I was only a bit giggling, high spirit, something like this. I have not seen such a crustacean who even fight with himself not to find an exonerating fact around. How having sex has not any effect then ECT has? Billions of reactions, physical, chemical, quantum are triggered by sex. It seems that they have forgotten what has been the subject of study at first day, a mineral, or a human. Why the problems of gay “deviance” has been reduced in some societies? Now the poor creatures can leave peacefully with each other without being forced to other things, including breakthroughs of psychiatry.
So, I was of significance. After the meeting, Mr Pour told me that he was afraid of those materials lest they damage his tool since he had not a son yet and with three daughters he wished for one. He has one now, writing papers, though very young, with his father. I am still to be cured by the psychiatry to be allowed to go to a pub with my daughter and wife, and meanwhile he has produced a son, has cultivated him and now they are publishing together in Physics Review.
I told him that each human male has more Plutonium in his testicle than was available in the crust of planet earth in 1941. I have heard that. Then We started to gather literature as much as was possible. One day we went to the library of a university and it was closed and the lady in charge of administration of the school knew us and kindly opened the door. I noticed one paper from the modern state in the middle east on enriching sf6. I told to my friend, “Why should they enrich sf6?” this is a coolant for high voltage electric cables. He had no clue. I said, “Since its structure is like what we seek.” The modern state is a small nation. They do not work on non-prioritised subjects. We immediately copied that one. If you look at his works listed by the scientists who are American and who have a federation and chase that story, my friend has works done on that sf6 published in the same magazine. You see this is completely out of scope of the context of bomb story. I only know where it comes from. So this is not a story copied or faked from delusions.
Now, I change my words. I do not say this things to assert that I could have any significance in stark events of this world. I was a wriggling worm, became a butterfly to live for a day and die at the cold of night why did you pin my head to the wall? I move my elaborately painted wings to fly, but alas my head is pinned to the wall.
Carlo DJ
Perhaps, you can remember once I said that we have a blood-line that ends in fourteenth century to a mystic poet who believed that not only words are the God and God is the words but beyond that letters and beyond that dots and umlauts over the letters are the God. We have a mystic idea we call “the dot of doubt.” It is when people read a book, a scholarly book, when they get to a difficult, non comprehending phrase, they put a “dot of doubt” in the margin to remember later or to discuss it with a colleague or write something about that phrase. That “dot” is not of any significance. It is just a humble meaningless dot in the margin. It is not part of the discourse. It has not relevance to great ideas of the book. Still, the dot says, “I am not in but I am not out. All later discussions happens at this spot.” It is the idea of that blood movement I mentioned about the world, the nature, the creation, and the human. They were called the “dot” movement. They started from the city of “Dar-band” where the ethereal Phoenix is there and the door to the heaven become closed there and there is no way beyond there for the flesh of human. Their leader, a great poet in my language became mad as it alleged and was killed, then called as the “dot of certitude” by mystics after him.
Carlo DJ
Humanist, behaviour, cognitive, holistic psychiatry:
Now, under my chin a small bag thing has developed where it was itching. Itching has overwhelmed me into not being able to use computer much. I am doing mostly house works. Also in scrotum area a region has become completely black and horribly creased and grooved. No in-home remedy can improve them. I have added an itching polypus, something perhaps due to chronic constipation. My left elbow is so painful at night that I cannot go to sleep and that cause more itching. These two house maids living with me surprised me by pretending that they do not know it was my birthday. Later my daughter gave me a fast created card made by herself as if just had remembered. Then they came with a bag of high quality shopping bought not from cheap famous stores I always had asked them to buy for me. Lumber jack shirt that I always liked and new sweaters and boxer pants-caring for my agony- and a new wool jumper. And they had got ready roast chicken from Vaitrose such that I do not cook on my birthday. And we sat for dinner and we did not notice that windows were open. They always know that if the occasion is merry a bit windows should be closed and the radio should be loud. I was just to start sweet talking that some body outside the windows shouted, “Messiah, c'mon!” I started to beat me then. Those girls went and sat in a corner pretending they were living in another world whispering together. This is due to humanist psychiatry. Recently, again I beat me or telephone to my step-sister and curse the sixty five years old woman with dirty words, just like when I was child and it was my only weapon. My painful elbow could be due to the beating me. my symptoms of shyness that later could be alleged as the legal reason that they put me in this plight has not even started to reduce a bit. They are things that nature is keeping and only can become eliminated if I was thirty eight and had freedom to socialise with my newly created family in the society in a natural way. This is for therapy of my behaviour. For the cognition, who ever has improved his cognition by isolation from the society. I do not need any cognition. Without society it has not any meaning at all. Middle age Christian believed that the first language that human develops if left alone is Hebrew. Supposedly the King of Abyssinia had left a newly born baby alone for five years and when they started to talk to him he was answering in Hebrew. Ibn-e-Tofail of Andalusia has a story of the baby who left alone in an island and when he grew he was a full blood theologian by just observing the nature around him and reasoning for a creator. Now I have two ways either should talk Hebrew or teach theology.
Carlo DJ
The reason that my skin has started to react in that way and it has started from that part of the body goes to three elements of Satanic ritual of human sacrifice. Body loses its phallus. Phallus actually is the entirety of human. Next to that is the skin. Skin means you. It is the first line of “you” and the universe. Other senses later evolved from that. Eye is skin that can separate and interpret different wavelengths of the sun reflected from the objects. Hearing is similarly impact of sound waves on the skin, but specialised. Brain is the skin completely interpreting all the outside world. When you go to war zones, just at the start of trip, at home, your phallus start to become smaller and when you get nearer to front lines you even cannot touch it, grab it. If it goes back and remains nothing to go back further, after you become completely shell shocked what remains to go back. Your “You” starts from the next line of skin around the phallus. It starts to die out and become necromantia. It is all about this. The story is very strange. The first night that I heard that voice, IT told me that IT would push back inward my phallus until it converts to a vagina and its tip become my virginity. Then IT forces me to rape that virginity with pushing my own finger into it and told me that then I would understand what is the pain. Very amazing, unbelievable, and it was beginning of the spring of 1998. You never believe how things are related together. You never believe what is the meaning of four billion years of evolution.
Carlo DJ
They, perhaps, say that sooner or later I have to go to doctor and that shows that not going to doctor is just a ploy of mine not their imposing restraint on me and I could go earlier as I go later. I do not know when I had a contract with anybody that they should come to a third world lawless country and gain total access to one of their lunatics and traffic him and then talk about ploys. In case of my cat, we at last had to take her to doctor and spent thousands of pounds but it was late only because I and also my wife knew that they are harassing us and they do not give us correct information and they play with us. People frequently go to doctors in a hope that he might discover something sooner than later. I do not go to doctor because he breaches my dignity, my rights to get correct information and does his duty rather than fulfilling the demand of a third party.
Carlo DJ
Recently I am trying to contact people to help me. As much I send emails I do not receive any response. I have become certain that the intervening body, The Impostor, blocking my mails and filter them. Hence, With my ailing eyes, I am searching in any relevant blog. Surprisingly, a message I put on the Amnesty Website with the original blog has been deleted from their website. It is very strange. This is what when I said for the Messiah all institution becomes upside down to their pronounced goals. One goal of theirs is to prevent degrading humiliating behaviour towards institutionalised people that amounts to physical mental torture.
Carlo DJ
Recently, I have started to beat me again like the period between 1993 to 1999. I said, at that time especially when I moved here I believed that a normal et al experimenters were watching me and were concerned about my health and that beating was partly to inform them that they are not doing something good and helpful to me. Mostly, of course, it was the sign of frustration of somebody who is powerless. It happens when people become bereaved. Even, the word for bereavement in many languages such as the Greek and Latin means "one beats himself." It also might become interpreted as if I am using it to manipulate my small family constituting of these two frail girls. I always try to take me fast to a corner such that they cannot witness such a painful scene. When my daughter was very younger six seven years, she asked her mother what was that sound when daddy closed the door on him. My wife answered her that daddy has a headache and out of the pain beat on his legs. This time it is automatic. I cannot help it. It takes me like a fit. It then follows by an attack of itching. My daughter was fare welling me at the door to go and stay at the dormitory in the London. My wife as usual taking her and her luggage there. Again we did not notice the open door and they harassed us. Girls notice that it is unusual when people come and shout nonsense., or they are there out of context. They feel it somehow. They become tearful and sad. My wife sometimes become equally mad dog angry. Sometimes she becomes just a dog with Stockholm syndrome. I write these things for future investigators. Pain of Jesus was not moving a wooden cross across a street. For me it is now twenty years of receiving such a treatment.
Carlo DJ
Future investigator should consider that I was here for years under severe watch, but as there was no symptom of mental illness as defined clearly for the psychiatry here in the laws and regulations and for the well being. As I was watched for the legal length of psychiatry diagnosis in a psychiatry ward in Shenley Lane famous institution hence they, The Impostor, could not intrusively intervene in my private life. In the school I inflicted with the symptoms of a teacher's burn-out with all details and with legally provable causes of burn-out. So that people could become convinced that I am showing symptoms. Symptoms can be interpreted, depending to the power of individual in the society, in a spectrum of being cool, genius, eccentric, mystic, crazy, pervert, psychotics, antisocial whatever comes to the mouth of psychiatry. So at that moment they become unleashed to devastate my life. Before, when I felt that I am at the outset of burn-out, I started to look for jobs with no a little social contact and with much less payment but secured and easy to handle, such as putting books in the shelves of library and similar jobs, but the intervening agency, as a gesture of support contacting people to reject me to keep me at the arena of teacher's burn-out with excuses that I loved teaching or the job was low for my status. I do with love whatever that I do, and no job is low and particularly is lower than what I am receiving now. They knew sooner or later I go to a break down due to not finding a secure job and doing teaching in the worst possible conditions of work. The Internet is full of similar stories, all described as burn-out to be dealt in a human volunteer way. What happened next? By confining me and harass me to permanent unemployment confined at home all of my symptoms gradually moved into my home. Now I have all those shame symptoms in the home. I have a video of me at the time that I had just come to my home. I was so cheerful and natural with my wife. The camera was on without our knowledge for a long time. My wife had all those behaviour of woman who keep the man at his place. All social natural game intact. I have one video after few years. I am full of symptoms in grimace, moving my mouth, scared crushed face. My wife is also full of this terrible mood. I cannot prop her up. You go and read few sentences that The Impostor has written. It is the writing of the drunk slave dancing with the naked sword in hand. He says the notion of toddler's play ground is absurd. Then what is serious and non-absurd. If the life of human is absurd then what is sacred. I am from the country of preachers ruling. The man used to say that if people become killed or kill at both cases they are winner. Then where is the criterion for being killed? We all know what is absurd. He heckles me in Satan way. The absurd is six years of my life from January 04 at home and one year at work before that. This is what people might made to believe but actually it is twenty years. And during this twenty years I had not any life of any quality as it might expect.
Carlo DJ
I was writing about Mr Soqal shop. Well, it is related to my case. I am being beaten by a machinery that I am completely alien to it and part of that is sacrificing the subject of study for rituals of humanistic scholarship. I said what was going on in his shop and what was going on in his next door shop. When Mr Soqal, in the evening goes home, the TV is on a popular channel and folks are watching one of those funky pinkie shows and the presenter asks the guest expert to give his ideas about the best of three fashion worn by seven attractive females on the stage. "Oh, nah, s.o.b!" thinks Mr Soqal with a gnash. The next door shop owner is the invited expert. When I write complaints about these two wretched girls, not mentioning my injured soul and body, people accuse me of trying to become celebrity in a new way. It is because in this unfamiliar world around me becoming celebrity is so important. Is it new? There was an Arab gentleman living fifteen hundred years ago, few decades before Mohammad. He was very rich and was very generous. His name was Hatam Taa’ee. He became rich five times and on being charitable and hospitable gave away all his wealth. Once he did not have food for three days since nobody came to him as guest and he always liked his table full of guest. He died in fame and honour and wealth due to his magnanimity, and became a myth until now . Perhaps Rudolf Valentino played his role in a Hollywood movie. He had a brother completely unknown to people. He went and peed in the holly well of Zamzam where people drink from it as a cure and these things. People asked him why he did that thing that if it was not for his brother they would kill him in a terrible way. He said that he couldn’t find a way to become famous like his brother so he chose this way. Mr Soqal also chose peeing. Modern physicists in the twentieth had great contributions to establish a tradition of philosophy besides their physics. We can see that in Bohr, Einstein, Planck, Heisenberg, Edington, Jeans. Part of the post-modern is ideas of such people. They were looking anew at philosophical assumptions of modern era derived from what they call classical physics. So there has been an expectation that a physicist contributes to a cultural magazine and hoaxing by a established scholar is a very sinister act that should return to the face of its producer. I am almost surprised that how he is not ashamed of his work. He has published a book as his self appraisal. As if the magazine is a chain restaurant being checked by mystery customers.
Carlo DJ
I mean classical physics belongs to the era which is called era of modern philosophy after the time of Descartes. But modern physics after nineteen hundred, especially after Heisenberg is contributing to the post-modern as Heisenberg explicitly suggested. Now a days, that post-modern becomes more accentuated by physics that follows the pattern of early, and more extreme Kuhn. Since in face of criticism, Kuhn revised some of his ideas. I noticed recently that one of the hard core protagonists of string theory in the US was in appreciation of loop theory. This is from old Europe against the dominant paradigm of string theory in the US and almost other parts of the world. A document of relativism in science is by Carlo Rovelli here. I mean if you read that you decide that such a thing exists in science, relativism.These people are not crackpots or something and are endorsed by Penrose. In particular, Rovelli teaches philosophy of science and has been awarded for his work on Greek philosophy.
Carlo DJ
PS. I am Carlo too. But I am only a DJ and I am neither familiar with strings nor loops. Not that because I cannot but because I just do not like either of them. They know there is something simple in a corner that all of them ignore. One day a young mind comes and finds it.
Mr Soqal belongs to a group of scientists who watch star trek or other similar shows and then they laugh that this and that is not possible scientifically and write about them being impossible. Those shows are just some passing the time and entertainment and are not written for the sake of a discovery or a gadget. Their writers are litterateurs and based on their personal cultivation creates a type of literature. They have humanities messages not scientific messages. Those messages also could be political or might be paid to indoctrinate a group of target audience. As if a doctor says that it was impossible to kill somebody by pouring the poison in his ear in Hamlet. Or where the guards were at that time? It is about a message; about other things rather than technicality. Now thanks to such a ruthless science every man has a portion of plutonium in his testicle. Every tuna fish in the ocean has a portion of mercury in his meat. every tree leaf (lo. there are many leaves on the surface of the earth) has a portion of lead on its face. Some belong to a school of thought calling themselves followers of idea of sustainability. That is, science will solve the problems caused by science. It means by perverting name of science they ruin my life and the life of my family but fifty years after my death they will apologize since the science votes to another idea. The people who were working with Turing were all scientists and with appreciation were looking to painless, scientific (and very legal) method of castration of their colleague without showing any sympathy. They had left the job of experts to the expert to decide.
Carlo DJ
My health is deteriorating. My vision has become very bad. I cannot sustain work with computer to make me happy. All the time I crave for sitting in front of computer and create something but I cannot. My eyes become blurred. I walk all the time and curse loudly. I cannot watch TV for the same reason. My skin is turning extremely dry in a wrong hope to spore and crust my life against the threatening enemy. My symptoms are becoming worsen and worsen. I even cannot talk with my daughter through the telephone out of shame and panic. I cannot go out to see her dormitory or university. They harass me on my way and make my daughter and my wife shameful. I cannot sit for a long time with my wife as much I show irritating shame and humiliation symptoms even if I make me drunk. I talk few words alienated and meek. Symptoms become mixed with epileptic stutters. The things that I had not when I came to home. Six years ago when for my leg I went to MRI I asked the nurse to help me with my socks since I could not bend me to do it alone and I was with my short only and I can remember that I had not any symptom at all. Recently, just as if it is the beginning of such operations, The Impostor have intensified his efforts for creating a carnival fulfilling him with the idea of becoming celebrity. Perhaps future people become informed how. He is doing these by the pretext that it helps to treatment of a mental illness. People do not ask why they should help to The Impostor. They only ask "how" they could be helpful on the supposition that it is helpful. Actually, The Impostor only satisfies himself by feeling of being so important when people bow to his desires. Those people later do not come forward and ask where is the patient and what was the result of their help. After that piece of help whether the patient is better- now comes out of bed, eats with appetite, laughs with visitors, go the balcony, smells the flowers, inhales the fresh air? Does it make the disease worsen or better or was it without any effect?
Carlo DJ
Not only those, but now I have also been filled with lots of other fears. If something croaks in the night I go into the panic. What if the pipe drips and house becomes flooded. What if that gadget in the house becomes broken. What if one of us becomes ill. What if when she is back from the shift finds me dead. What if I lose them. The neighbour's cat's in the rain and none of them at home to open the door. What if a meteorite hits the earth. What if the the sun creates a flare that reaches the earth? These looks a joke but they are not. I have to cope with them and something sad fills me beyond anything can describe it and I am inconsolable for the life that I have lost. I am full of regret remembering all unfairness to me and my fairness to all. I have an ocean of knowledge and soft humour and cannot pass to anybody. If the oceans were ink and forests were pen they cannot convey one page of what I know about the world. This is the pain of Messiah.
Carlo DJ
During these years I had frequent opportunities to get rid of any symptoms that people find annoying and here in this country are being used as the pretext for incarcerating people. They say these annoying people are not dangerous for others or for themselves but they share a similar substructure with dangerous or self harming people. Hence, we psychiatrist can treat or cure them similar to the dangerous category. Hence, if you had not those symptoms or signs or manifestations but you were doing harmful actions to others or towards yourself the psychiatrist would not come ahead and other "good-doers" in charge should come forward. But you can remember that they had promised to change me from the "particle" lunacy to a "classic" lunatics; from a "foot soldier" to a "general." So when I was showing a faintest symptom they were punishing me in a way. I said that symptoms are like a whole human. IT wants to be the winner and when you reward it, it becomes happy and stronger. IT constantly seek attention of audience and want “the owner” not to be present there, but it rules and “represents the owner” everywhere and crushes “the owner.” If you do not believe, observe the cancer. It is your body and it grows until it kills its carrier. Psychiatry and in particular the people who dealt with me have such an agenda. You become worse in terms of their declared goals but they continue that notwithstanding. Well, they have seen in, say, in eight percent, that cues might improve some epileptic symptoms. One in thousand stutter might improve if you flood the sufferer on the arena with scoffing. Numerous other people might go to death shock, comma, faint. And psychiatry is not the profession who has a record of playing safe with its subjects. On which rule when you are tired out, you go to a bar for a drink. Perhaps it is better for your health that a neighbour annoys you, instead. Why employers give a paid holiday and you go to southern coasts to recharge batteries. Why it is not helpful for your health to work as a slave with a piece of bread and die before to reach to fifty. Why Moses asked people to rest on Saturday and allow other creatures to rest as well. You see, there is always a spectrum continuous from what they have done to me to Messiah. They say that they do not know which people are among the eight percent responsive to cues. Well, they can check it. Your doctor tests penicillin in a small dose on your arm and if it was safe he prescribes it. But disaster is not recognisable in the psychiatry practiced in the industrial world since it is the rule not the exception and the report of the patient is part of his disease. Why you have trafficked me here to observe what. Do not you have “classic” and “general” lunatics. Do not you know that if somebody become inflicted by nature or be forced into the misery what will be his responses. Do not we have millions of people who have millions of non-sense claims and delusions of every genre and type? What is special about me? You want to see what happens if a paranoid decides that now there is nothing out there that purposefully annoys him? Such thing if ever happens should happen in a paranoid and he is another arrangement of a deck of million cards that happens without you ever can observe it due to the principle of uncertainty. I said in my first comments to the perpetrators that they never publish anything regarding me. It is now many years and that has not happened yet. I guarantee that to the end of the world, they never publish anything containing even one true word about my life and the things that I endured. Even if they confess that something could read my mind remotely with precision of my own mind nobody could find anything helpful to me in it or anything helpful as my role in the story. People only would be surprised about the mind reader and how that could happen and how that creature were being studied and my wife and my daughter and I will not have any significance in that.
Carlo DJ
I always say that “they” have trafficked my family and me to here for doing an experiment on me. An experiment that was not possible to do on people who are living here. I say “they” trafficked me since the law and infrastructure did not exist in my native country to implement such a scheme in this way. I have few evidences. We got a ticket from Switzerland to go to Detroit with the option to Canada. In the Genève airport we recognized that the ticket had a link with BA through London, and then with another airline to Detroit but we have to stay in transit area of London for twenty four hours to get on the next link. Then suddenly my head jerked up since the gate number for BA was 33. At gate thirty three, a British gentleman was checking the passports and documents. He looked at our documents then fatherly smiled and showed my daughter, five year old at that time, and told me, “It is for her that I allow you to pass; otherwise nobody can go anywhere with these documents!” And he gestured with his hand showing an instant that one is passing from under a bar or water or any hurdle. My wife became so grateful of that gesture and fatherly behaviour and hugged me after passing from the gate into the waiting area. (Now she is paying back!) After years, I understand that that gentleman was quite right pointing to my daughter as the cause of this charity. It is not about me anything of this twenty two years arrangements. The treatment was late for me and there was not enough time to implement it and I am too injured to be any hope of my improvement and the doctor has done all in his power for me and unfortunately without much attracting result. But my daughter has her life ahead and if she can survive accidents caused by this intervention there is a hope of showing the marvellous result of this breakthrough novel method in psychiatry. Now her dossier includes a “fast cycling” and recently “range of autism.” We know psychiatry talks in this way; a little of this, a little of that. All of her environments have been fully sealed. Yes, it is scientific: they should continue restlessly until the result comes out. I am surprised that scientific community of Britain does not protest to the plight of my family. Are not these people who accepted defeat in South pole from Norwegian when Norwegian ate their dogs but British did not accept such cruelty and died next to their beloved dogs. Rightfully, that smear never become cleared from that purported achievement of Norwegians. Do not my family deserve even altruism towards dogs?
Carlo DJ
PS: Perhaps they were Danish not Norwegian. I cannot remember.
Then, with that "help" we entered through the BA flight into the Heathrow. That gentleman was a native English and employee of BA. For that apparent slackness, a fine of two thousand five hundred pounds for each of us, a total of 7500 pounds later BA paid to government of Britain. It is the rule of airlines that if they allow a non visa holding passenger gets into the country by the ignorance of airline that fine should be paid by the airline. This sum is more than all the tickets of the on-board passengers of that flight.
We waited into the transit area for couple of hours. We found the place for the next flight to Detroit. Gradually girls asked that if there is hotels or inns inside transit zones to accommodate at night. They had not slept in the mountains or deserts or floor or under dripping ceilings or in lousy ragged blankets in the prison cells. They liked warm beds with crispy white sheets next to warm radiators. They had only the very first layers of misery of becoming slaves, experimental animals of alien hostile establishments. So urge fell under our skins to search for a night accommodation. We approached few uniformed people. They had no clue that if there was such places in the transit zone. Until we get to a custom officer. He asked us if we had a visa. We said that we had not any intention to enter Britain and we would not like to stay here, and we are on our way waiting for a night to get on the flight to the US.
He meekly smiled and asked us to go through those staircase to a gate and a gentleman is in charge who has information for our night accommodation. We looked hesitated. He encouragingly said, “Don’t worry! Up to that gate there is no problem. You can come back to transit zone soon!” He sounded suspicious to me but we obeyed. I had no notion, that much, at that time what is the meaning of “Don’t worry” in the surveillance-intelligence country. A gentleman was waiting for us at the gate, asked to go to the other side. He was genuinely polite and kind hearted looking. We said that we were after a night stay. He asked for our documents. After a brief look he went in an office and came back after few minutes asked us to give him the documents. We became assured a bit. He took the documents and came again after few minutes without having them. I was sitting on the floor. He brotherly sat next to me. He said that they understood that our documents were fake and they understood that we were going to US to seek refuge. He was looking fatherly to my daughter who was cart wheeling on the airport floor like a minstrel's monkey. Then said that, equally, we can apply refuge into the UK. I denied and asked to return document to us and we go back to transit zone. He politely, and very sincere asked us to go into an office. That office had no way to other places and one could not go out of it. It was clean and bright and luxurious with good smell of airports and good free coffee and chocolate, but with surveillance cameras and no way out. My wife asked me where was that place and tearful. I said that birds had have our bread crumbs on the way back and Hansel and Gretel have to stay here for the night.
Carlo DJ
Well, During the years my wife has toffee-wrapped many witches without helping us to become free.
That gentleman was no witch and was one of those English gold-hearted I have seen many of them; a real Mr Brawn of my English book. He did not play any role but just being himself. His heart had painted his appearance as handsome as Roger Moore. I already said that this is the country of Watt Taylor, Magna-Karta, Robert Owen, Fredrick Engels, Bertrand Russell, Edington, Dirac, a galaxy of gold stars not the country of sleazy Satanist characters of rank 33. He carefully searched my overloaded heavy Samsonite and handbag of my wife showed his wit recognizing me as a scientist. He asked me to say one word that we want that we want to apply for refuge in the UK and they send us with cab to a hotel for the night and they give us free lawyers and housing and expenses to follow our claim. And I denied. Frequently he said that here is just like the US. Until certain time later I heard that claim of here is just like US until I become geared up completely with the society, then I never heard that claim anymore. It was becoming late in the night and my little child was sleeping and both girls were exhausted of stress. By talking with my wife we accept to become detained for good in the cottage with the cheese roof. We were send to a bed and breakfast around.
When the next day back in the airport we were talking with the BA regarding our luggage all of them were very welcoming, appreciating the rout of Genève we had selected as a very smart posh rout, telling us that we hit the jackpot, as if we had won the Family Fortune game.
Carlo DJ
We gradually never heard that claim again that here is just like the US, but during the last years there were frequent occasions that people were instructed to cue to me,"Here is just like my country!" It is very bad sign since if people who encounter me say something in suffering me by attributing that to themselves then I give that to them as a gift to fulfil their wish.
All these excitements and welcoming were based on a genuine altruism. Those people were advised to behave in that way to give us a delusion of the environment that we what been transferred. We did not hear any threat or pretention or discussing with us that if we do not comply or reveal our real identities and nationality they would put us on a plane back to the origin of our flight. This is legal and ethical to discuss with prospecting refugees. They knew that I might become suddenly very angry upon receiving cues and we turn back to our origin. They knew it a pity that we become deprived from the best services in a very advanced industrialised, modern and economically powerful country. They were advised that I had been caught in a very poor and underdeveloped country (could be correct) and we were not matched with the policies of the governing dictatorship and for the best interest of my lovely daughter and wife and me to participate in a novel breakthrough experiment of psychiatry, even more important than Dr Barnard’s breakthrough we had been persuaded to immigrate here. They knew it in that way. Each person becomes contacted gets that idea. They never turn to me or the contacting agency to enquire for the result of their benevolence. I have cracked each of these delusion through what I have written down here. Dr Bernard did not remove the heart of anybody who could live one more day with his heart, not the donor not the acceptor. He did not force somebody with a minor cardiovascular complaint to become a classic heart patient.
The nature of coercion and the idea of doing good for the best interest of him and preventing butt-rape and later he becomes old and wise and thankful from us is not consistent with application of science, let alone with humanities.
Carlo DJ
Gradually they said that here is Britain and some good old gentleman said to me that in Rome live like Romans. By that he meant living here. This was one step down from first proposition. This is a chapter and I hope I can survive to write it down sometimes. British is a great nation like ancient Greeks and I used modifier “down;” one step down. It is their own attitude that I discovered when they compare themselves with the US. There is no need for any argument. Each one of British people calls the US as a or rather the “super-power” but Britain as a “power.” So the first assertion that “here is just like the US” was a cheating plotted and instructed by the agency that had enslaved me from my native place. I am writing all these things to show that I am righteous when I say that my family and me were forcefully trafficked here. But this honourable nation hinted me during the last year that I was in the society, that here is actually just like my native place. Hence, during my fifteen years here they have been demoted a further step down. Again it is their own discretion that my native place is one or more steps down. If you ask each British, from left to right from top to bottom they know that place as a poor, non-developed barbaric environment. Somehow I have seen that prediction to be fulfilled in the mirror of future. But I have a good news for them: Messiah is for them, instead. I change the proposition that “Here is just like my native place” to “here is my nation and will be my native place and my mission is written in their language!” If it was correct that to live in Rome like Romans there was no Christianity. Peter went to Rome such that Romans should not live like Romans anymore and live like Christians. Christianity infused inside the Roman empire and enslaved its infrastructure to conquer the world that Romans never could conquer. British was an alien to his occupying Romans but became a native zealot Christian later. The Rome conquered by the man who was humiliated as a non-person by Romans. You see, Romans in Judea were different with Temple people. For temple people words of Jesus were laud blasphemy, inflating words of a mad dog bastard that should be silenced, but for Romans it was wheeze of flies without any value to even attempt to listen, let alone think about it. Romans played the game like this, watch me like a Hollywood sitcom, “O-Kkkayy! we have a king here. And this|| your crown. It comes to you. Now go and get on your throne.” They had not any discussion of any later consequences of a stray cur to bite them. He didn’t exist for them at all. They were ruling over half of the world with armies and all sophistications. They were not a conqueror. They were a well established empire. Later they had dark nights that only were lightened and warmed by the flames of that stray cur.
Carlo DJ
Well, I cannot read this story ever. Never I can read that. That is one outlined version of my biography. If I read that story, I am sure I might leave my body forever. I do not advise even my enemy read that. Even when I read one sentence of it I burst to the most frantiv tears. Just randomly sample it to know the story not more than that. Here
Carlo DJ
One humour writer of my language have some volumes about his school stories attempting to be a future writer. There was no public library available to him living alone with his grandmother as his guardian. He had to borrow books from a local booksellers for a fraction of the book price and returning the book after few days in the original shape. Bookshop and the owner had the first name of the litterateur I mentioned in the previous comment, say Jacque. He was famous as being melancholic and parents and teachers would prevent young people to read him. Once my young humorist asked by the teacher of creative writing asked students to write and argue its usefulness for the society what job they like to have in future. Young humorist desired job was to be undertaker and he vehemently defends why it is the most useful job and criticise people who avoid courting beautiful daughters of the undertaker who is living locally. Teacher becomes angry and invites his grandmother for discussing the case into the school. Teacher mentions to granny that he believes the attitude of the young man is moulded by the reading of Jacque's book. Grandmother could not recognize which Jacque, the teacher means and after the meeting takes constables to Jacque, the bookseller. When I heard about the incident happened in Virginia Tech University, that reminded me the story of this humorist and I laughed a bit. Before this happens to me I always could remember a funny anecdote.
Carlo DJ
So my story gets to time that on promise that I have been actually moved to a place like the US, I was transferred to this country. All those welcomes and fatherly behaviours as I said in older comments was like the whore whom with the promise of marrying with a gentleman of the metropolitan becomes transferred to a brothel in the big city. The first day, all the inmate girls dance and cheer her to send her to her first customer in a cheerful mood. They are instructed by the "mama" that it is for the best interest of the new arrival. It is better for her to go there cheerful than with a livid face. Sooner is better than later or never, in this case. Well, far from this, here is no US. It is completely another universe in spite of some similarity of language and literature. Even in this they are different. Who knows, say, William Saroyan here? Only due to him be an "American" I could prove my case. That society do not look upon Saroyan as an invader that at any check point should be foiled and curbed and pushed back to the retreat. It is not a cynical idea of mine. I do not vilify a nation for fighting back with an invader. All of them from children, aged five and six, housewives, low educated, university professors guarding the home front. Those doctors need not to be instructed by the Impostor. They already do it by instinct. US is based on the idea that people who were persecuted or had no other way but to leave their homeland, to go there and live there. It is not that it is a better or superior place. Britain is a great civilization in her turn. The concept of "home" and citizenship is different. In the US they open room for new people. They have to. You are already equal to them in rights of being there peacefully. My tenant who was in the US army told me that his ancestor in 1604 were near to be killed in the Netherland, due to being a Calvinist and escaped by accepting to work free for seven years (temporary slave) in the new continent for the fare of the ship carrying him there. They had no relation to Britain.
Carlo DJ
In future, The Impostor might claim that I have got some ideas and judgment out of the psychiatry intervention in my recent years. The intervention that in its appearance and implementation had been fairly and appropriately imposed on me based on the laws of a civilized society. Somehow, it is wrong.I have written my judgments and insights in a a handwritten booklet (not the typed blue one) here before 2001. I stapled it to prevent my daughter ever read it. I did not like her to grow with hatred towards the place that she grows, except whatever she personally gets from the environment. I wish I could type that booklet into the computer. Still, it is not much cynical as people here might think. I never can become that much cynical. Cynicism is the product of living above the forty five degree latitude. There had been a game of bull fighting, now it is more than fifty years that it is obsolete, between two oxen in some rural areas of my native place. In that, one is not allowed to “nation-ing” his ox. They mean, it is not allowed one to bring his ox sooner than the other in the arena. They believe, in that case, the ox will defeat others’ unfairly. That story, helped me not become surprised of people’s behaviour towards foreigners. In the tribunal that I went, the managers working for the gangster, had complained from me that I had called them “racist.” It was an accusation. I never use that word and was not familiar with it. I normally, use the word “fascist” or sometimes “xenophobic.” They are different. Xenophobic could be a non-political person who has “nation-ed;” has been here before me. Fascist could be a non-xenophobic but believer in extreme measures against other humans. I empty it out of its historical meaning attributed to Mussolini gangs, to cover new cases. In this usage, the traditional coercive psychiatry is a fascist institution. Then I should go back to our settlement here, above forty five degrees.
Carlo DJ
Hence, I am not vindictive when I say something. I do not want to revenge. It is some slices from some cleavages, some perspective hidden from others. Some left people recognize them partially but they are too imbued in the society to behold as clear as me. It is not against this honourable and proud nation. It is in their favour if considering how many golden monuments they have at the back, behind them. This nation is unique in what they have experienced in their history. The history that never is taught to them here. When my daughter was deciding for her A-level, I advised her to select sociology for one subject. I learned then that sociology is of no value in Britain for entering good universities. Only lazy students follow it. We were advised that history is one criterion of going to a better university. I had no objection (besides not having such a power from that time). History is the laboratory of sociology. When my daughter was doing it I learnt that they do not teach history to school students but a loose bag of unrelated events scattered during the last two centuries and only extreme details of those events should be memorized and related paraphrase of events or analysis also should be memorised to gain good marks without any controversy. If my daughter had decided to continue history in the degree level they would have allowed her to go to Cambridge straight from the school without failing her with 79.66. Not only they do not teach history, but also geography of Britain is taught. It is a deep understanding of mine. They made you believe that if you are in Cornwall you should not bother you with whereabouts and affairs of Yorkshire. If you needed it in your life later then go and learn it later. If you are interested in football, yes, they have such and such football teams. I learned that even for Magna Carta American has set a monument. They believe it is related to them rather than Britain. What a surprise. Here the government TV’s and other networks are indoctrinating round the clock about their history then how false are my findings. I have chased them all. In none of them the role of Britain is being explained as a civilization in the full texture of human race. It is only stories of a feudal aristocratic establishment in war, hatred, competition with its neighbours in blood-shedding and plundering the world, pumping poor people with twisted accounts of events, keeping them ready for any future adventure, isolating them from rest of the world in an excited state. Having said that, this is the case of native people let alone “niagaras” who are living here. They just look to the taught history with more surprise than me. They cannot find any glue in that to stick them to this society. history does not teach them any material in reconciliation of them to others as if there is a plan that in a future to dump all of them in the sea. Nothing of twelve thousand years of common struggle is taught. In certain age they are forced to go to Somme and write a passage about “sacrifices” and defending “freedom.” They say that at the end they won. Hence, the less is that that they won. Who won? You may think that these are not related to my personal biography or to Messiah. But it is related. I hope I can elaborate them later.
Carlo DJ
"Hence, the lesson is that that they won." It should be read.
Carlo DJ
After that promise and welcomes we were sent to live in Barnet country. The lady who was in charge of giving us the housing told us that by moving to Britain actually we had won a lottery. We are born under forty five degree latitude, so we did not interpret it further than a humour. I only, as usual made a mistake and wanted to show that I was a listener to BBC world service all around the clock and have a deep knowledge of news and said that yes I knew what is a lottery (we did not have that in our native country in that time. It was against religion to gamble. But now they have and some detainees at hell have been pardoned to go to heaven). I added then that I knew queen recently had won a ten pound in the lottery. Lady made a reaction but controlled it. She had good training that foreigners have no mean of saying these things but showing friendship. We were sent to a bed and breakfast in bounds green next to an engineering school of a university there. We went there and put our things in the room. I said to my wife, “Do you know what a delicious fast food here they have?” And we walked up and down until we found a “fish and chips” shop. Later I learned that this is an issue. It is like black and white keys of piano. It is a matter of fight. If you say that you like fish and chips they interpret you as if cheating them. They say that you mean it. In a court the judge might change his mind. In an interview they might reject you. You might fail an exam. You might receive counselling or even become sectioned or deported. When you are “Niagara” by default all of you are replicas of the same entity. You are not differentiable. You are painted. (Actually I never had heard of anything about curry foods before living here. During fifteen years I only had once the curry food but I die for fish and chips) Next day after an immediate exploring in the school, I said to me in delusion, "Yes, they know that how much I like to go in a library and read the books. So they send me to live next door to this place!" And I started to take application forms and applying for postgraduate to the school. I also start to find out how my wife can start her course here. For both cases I became surprised of the correct information that relevant people could provide for us.
Carlo DJ
For few first months I was very sleepy, as if one has a flu and cannot remain with full energy. I said to my wife that this is due to weather here and these people were importing pepper from the time of Offa the Wessex king and they discovered the new continent only for the sake of pepper. We went and bought a pack of powder labelled as "curry powder" But it caused us to cough and had smell of cumin that I hate. So gradually I became used to my new physical condition. I said that I noticed that relevant people had misleading information most of the time. For example my wife should go and pass language course before any other study. And colleges are after recruiting by all means any foreigner who refuges here to teach English free of any charge they had sent us to a private expensive school. We searched until we ourselves could find the state run college. I did not catch much that “they want me to become a classic general!” There was certain rare occasions I catched. For instance, When we enrolled our daughter in the school in the third day. The head teacher told us, when we asked, that it was better to give our daughter a piece of “fruit” rather than sweets and chocolates. I believed she meant me that I liked fruits. When such occasions happened I used to act out in the way that people behold in observing a loony. That makes these two wretched girls very shameful. Such as arguing or flirting or giggling or these things. But since at that time that profane had not become resident fully inside my mind and I did not hear ITS voice inside my mind during the days I was much better and more presentable that now. At that time, IT could not hint and talk beyond me towards audience. In few days there was St George’s (St Patrick’s?) day in mid March and they took children into train station to sing and collect money. My wife and I were hiding in a corner watching our daughter that was trying to imitate the other children singing, in the way that children acquire their mother tongue and our eyes were full of tears. I write these things to show that we have actually been trafficked here and forced to solve problems not only against natural adversaries but also against artificially implemented hurdles without any support. In future, it will be revealed that hence we have been super-human not mentally ill. I mean evidences will be gathered for Messiah being among us and people seek for believers to prove that Messiah could walk on the water and should if he was true.
Carlo DJ
It was more than a week I did not notice any harassment. I looked out of the windows. I draw curtains back. I did not notice anything. I got the idea that they have become frightened due to the deterioration of my health. Or perhaps they have plotted to trap me in a new way. I decided to go into the street and check. I said that I can take the other car around for few minutes. When I sat in the car suddenly I felt I could not breath. I drove to a nearby round about. even in my driving they had harassed me before, in different ways by sudden stop in front of my car and other devil things. This time I did not notice anything. I came back and started to clean the front of the house out of dried fallen leaves of trees. I could collect a large bag of them. My house is in a corner and all the street leaves gathers in front of that in autumn. If no harassment occurs any longer. I have to collect ten bags but gradually and at the end I vacuum the street. Then I am comfortable until may and June. Then I should see what I can salvage from my remaining days of my life. After yesterday breathlessness I feel vomiting and churn in tummy as if I am poisoned, but yesterday my eyes become less blurred. In last few days I feel a bit of bowel movement everyday. I believe it is because apparently they have stopped harassing me. Perhaps feeling sick is due to having a teaspoonful of rose petal jam. I did it myself from dried petals I had.
Carlo DJ
In previous comment, I made believe that harassing me has been stopped. Today, they came to my window and shouted, "Messiah, we do not stop!" And my little vacation ended soon. Couple of years ago I went to the nearby town and collected my wife and daughter from the train station. In short four five miles it was dark and raining. I had the feeling that we were in a holiday driving back home with radio on and we needed some fruits and roasted nuts to make it perfect. There was in the news that two women killed themselves due to being harassed by little children in the neighbourhood. They had contacted police during a two years period without being able to convince them to pop in for investigation. They became harassed to death. Police telephone answers to them were something like these, “You should prove that you do not accept being bullied!” –“They are just a bunch of kids!” –“Show courage of yourself and they will go!” –”Definition of harassment is blah, blah, blah!” –“Go there and see that there is nothing out to be afraid of!” – “Do not pay attention to what they are doing!” Children who were harassing were between nine and fourteen. The net result of those clever counselling is death of two innocent people. It is like my case. The Impostor defends that they are not doing anything tangible and objective that means my harassment, but my situation is the consequence of my mental ailment. I say, why they put some lunatics in the straight jacket in a confined room. Well, if they do not struggle they remove the straight jacket. But if he asks for their freedom and the jailor denies it to him then he starts to struggle and they return him into the jacket. But if he decides to sit there gloomily they leave him in that way. I say, why they do not open the lock of the room. “Well, if he does not come out of the room then they do not lock the door!” So, actually he has not freedom. If he wants to enjoy any freedom they take him back into the straight jacket. Why, there are others walking up and down the aisle waiting to become night and sleep. It is because they do not struggle to go out of the ward. Because there is an implementation that keeps them in the confinement, hence, they are in that more free situation. That situation is not freedom. It is conformity to accept the imposing power. It is also like slavery. Not all slaves rebel and escape. Why some escapes? They do not like to remain slaves. You can find all the reasoning in classical books. For example, they were lazy or were shrewd or did not have soul or conscience so that group rebel or escape. I stay at home because I have been detained, because I do not have freedom to go out. I do not have freedom to go to doctor to go to holiday, to go to job centre, to go to other countries to go to pub, to walk, to go to swimming, to call or to write to any friend or find new relations. If I want to struggle and do any of these they will return me to home in the same way that they return a struggling confined lunatics to his room. If I struggle they go to next level. They take me to police. They will arrange to take me to lunatic house. They cut payment of my wife. They deprive my daughter from her education. They put my house on auction. Remember they leave the door unlocked but it does not mean that you can go out. They did not chain slaves in locked rooms. They all were free to move around. They were working as valets and errand. They were people with full capacity. They had to conform to that minimum. They were wise. They never become freed by any rebel or getting insights or any change of behaviour.
(continues)
They never become freed by any rebel or getting insights or any change of behaviour. Have you ever heard that a group of slaves were freed by their owners because they were behaving, because they had learned languages, because they could do joggling. Slavery is not about the good behaviour. It is about the ownership of a human by another human. Have you returned a horse to its normal life in the freedom of meadows since he has been good in horse racing, in galloping? Your guarantee for the horse is that he would be shot at the end. Nor slaves were freed by their owners. Some other people became insightful and judged the situation. They had to fight with the owners. Then the slaves became freed and produced litterateurs and engineers and musicians and athletes and doctors and lawyers and the policemen and thieves and prostitutes and drug dealers, everything, all sorts of humans. Therefore, it is not that I am not using my freedom. Truth is that that I have been detained in one room. If I go to other rooms they have access to shout such that I can hear. And that room is dark by curtain. If I look out of the window after few minutes somebody waves or give a hint.
Carlo DJ
The other news I heard was the plight of a large number of children, separated from their families and sent to orphanages in Australia on promise of having a better education and better life. They were dealt so cruelly that now government of Britain and the government of Australia have to apologise for what that happened to victims. One of those children still living in old age was so upset remembering that time after seventy years. She was not upset solely because of her suffering. Her main point was that no one she had complained "believed" her. This, bridges her to Messiah. A few months before this apologise, there was an apology regarding "Alan Turing." A British man almost unknown in Britain until recently which was started to be used for "puffing" operation in society. The apology opens the door for more usage of him for pinkie buffering jobs of puffing. Apology means that you have got a lesson and you do not repeat that transgression again. We say one should be pious when he is young otherwise all old people become pious since they have no other way and instrument for transgression. The test once comes in form of orphan the other time in form of gays the other time in form of POW’s. If you see the golden feathers of angle under shabby torn cloak certainly you take him in the house for a warm soup to secure that later he fulfil three of your wishes. Story of David is known when he fancied the only wife of his chancellor, although enjoying of ninety nine wives of himself. The angle came to him in face of a shepherd said that he has got only one sheep but his brother has got ninety nine sheep. Still, his brother has asked to get his only one. Then David understood. Moses changed the water to blood but Pharaoh did not apologised. He apologised when being drowned in the water. He said, "Now I accept that Moses was righteous!" It was late. I wonder if my voice ever reach to the future that no apology will be accepted except that perpetrators eat my flesh and drink my blood to be exonerated.
Carlo DJ
I said story Moses that he changed water into the blood. He took pharaoh son fulfilling the bad wish of pharaoh towards Moses' son back to pharaoh. Moses broke the sea and passed people. Jesus converted water to wine. I said I tell you story of prophets as they told me. What happens if some one comes to you and converts water to blood or to wine what is your reaction? You might faint of surprise. An illusionist does simple things with cards and people applaud and pay him money and admiration and they gather to watch him and all of the secrets are known to audience. Still you gasp and become amazed. Then Pharaoh was mad? He just continued to pretend that Moses was the roadside waif? Moses even could not talk with Pharaoh, perhaps with no one. Hence, Moses was doing it in a way that it was beyond the acknowledgment of Pharaoh. Perseus did not look into the face of Medusa. He could not allow the merger with darkness happens. Then he put the Medusa’s head into the bag later to stunt his enemies, to turn them into the stones. Why Moses could not talk. He should not. When he was a little toddler once in the clasp of pharaoh he became so angry that he scratched the face of Pharaoh. Pharaoh said that if this angry toddler now scratch his face when he becomes an older child or a young man he would raze his kingdom down to earth. People said that he was only a child and could not recognise the consequences of his action. To test that they suggested to put a tray of jewels and a tray of burning charcoals to see that the child does not recognise these two from each other. Moses was the one selected by God and moved his hand to take the jewel but angles turned his hand on the way towards charcoals and he grabbed one piece of fire and as it is the behaviour of children to it to his mouth and burned his tongue. He could talk but not eloquently, and he always used to hide his burnt hand until the day that God in burning tree incipience cured his hand. You might say there was no such a person. Who follows such an elaborate story of ancient time. The story is completely consistent and people have kept it alive for thousand years. It is my biography. Every detail of that has happened to me. At the time, perpetrators are not aware. They just mock. This is a choice, a whim of nature of human. It is all to the audience. Everything has happened in front of their eyes: water to blood, water to wine. It depends to them to see it. There is no other way in nature for that conversion. It is the Stern-Gerlach machine. Only after, it becomes known who is up who is down.
Carlo DJ
In the Chekov’s short story, “The Bet” the prisoner writes to the galore that if in his letter written in six languages he could not find even one error by the experts of languages the galore should shot a pistol once in to the air in the back garden of the prison. During a week that I did not hear any catching cues, I succeeded to reorganize some back logged jobs I had on the Internet. It was four months due to my blurred eyes and intense itching I just had stepped around the room. I corrected many errors in my website. I uploaded the fourth chapter of my book. I wrote couple of blogs. I wrote some computer codes. I renewed my passwords. I did much. If any future reader could find even one error, one non-reasonable sentence, any copying of the other’s work, anything that shows there has been a dishonesty or planning for any material iota of this materialistic world, please shot once into the air. For example, my book is completely innovative inputting the subject forward. My salmon theology (here) has no weird idea in its abstraction. From another point it can be seen as a lesson in basic geometry using a bit of humour. Leonardo diPardo sports page now has a simple skiing lesson, after one reads the whole page. Every bit of these sites is built by my own effort alone. I cannot exercise anymore outside. I walk along dinning and kitchen, eight yards forth and eight yards back. I walk and curse and swear. When I am less tired I run round the dinning table, just like when I was a child. My eyes, especially my left eye is very bad. I wrote that I needed glass in my puberty years but my step mother believed it was a ploy of mine. At that time I had a friend, son of a preacher, he taught me to put my fingers round my eyes like a goggle and read a prayer that I can remember and at night look into the sky and read that prayer. Now I do that thanks to being treated by Freud in Harley Street. I also put my hand in my lichenified neck and chin and read another prayer.
Carlo DJ
My story gets to time that I entered with my family into the bed and breakfast. The first morning we woke up early morning. I told to my wife, "do you know what is that chirp?" She didn't know. "This is a real nightingale in the back garden. Listen how beautiful it is singing. As much these people have green in the heart of the city you can hear nightingale." Now after fifteen years if I wake up early I have to put my fingers on my ears not to hear birds. These people are so hostile that have taken even that small bit of joy from me. During the first weeks we made ourselves familiar with environment. I was walking and talking everywhere as if I had born here. I had no difficulty at all in connecting us to the place. Going to different offices, telephone to them and sorting out things, just like a British worker who has become unemployed and has moved from Reading to London; that much eloquent, assertive, capable. I write this to show that how much I was capable. How much capacity I had. Then a letter came from Paddington church offering me a house. They had written that if I reject their offer they terminate finding housing for me. I said to me that harass of "et al" has started. Actually they meant after that I should ask the Counsel for other resources other than the church. When we went there and noticed it is a separate flat with a kitchen and rooms in a very less populated area we accepted to move. The flat was already the office of a nearby garage and people had walked with their greasy shoes every where such that all carpets were so shabby and dirty. The heating system was very bad and windows were not double glazed. Every where it was damp on the walls. There was no furniture in the rooms, only a couple of old office sofa, a broken shelf wobbling in a corner, a couple of beds where a thousand hookers already had been f**ed. I said to me if we nag, "et al" will tell to very knowledgeable and ethical and liberal judges of Britain, who have been students to John Stewart Mill and Bertrand Russell and Dirac and Harold Pinter and many others and now these judges with compassion and care are handling our case and in their hearts wishing best of wishes for us, that we are greedy and have moved not for human rights but for higher standard of life to abroad. Look, if I were still there and I wanted to study the situation of laws governing the mentally ill people in Britain what might attract my attention out of debates of Parliament. Yes, I would read the ideas and Genevera. Then I would tell me, “See, this is the idea of a civilized society. If I go there, I’ll find the lady and tell what ‘et al’ has done to my family and to me for nothing.” I have written to her. I do not know if they have allowed my email pass to her or not. If she believes in what she says, she should hear my story and finds that this is the case she was waiting from her childhood to handle. But here is not US and it is not even Britain anymore. It is just like my country. They have given the lady a medal of honour. In rank and file of scientists and perhaps others that medal is not criterion for any achievement. It is only a test of conformity; sometimes to make rebels silent. In this way we settled in the filthy flat.
Carlo DJ
Working with computer has become very difficult for me, due to my eyesight. If I stop writing it is just because I cannot work anymore. I struggle to write more important things from my humble life. I have noticed that there is almost nothing that can frighten that unholy mind reader. One is definitely fire. It is the only thing I could frightened once. It was at the first fraction of second I described already I have at the start of me going to sleep. The second thing is the dream that I had when I was five year old. It was lucid. It was vivid as if I, right now, am there. I was in the garden of the old house that we had moved. Sky was grey and cloudy. I was hearing a cracking noise that converts to roar but not a thunder from above. A ferocious dog was barking from down the stairs from the garden into he cellar. I was hearing a new sound. It was me banging on the dining table in the garden with severity of a governor, as somebody in charge, and I was tall such that the dining table was up to my waist. I heard a voice (perhaps mine) said that it was "God" roaring above. I banged frequently with my fist on the table. - "No it is Satan. No it is Satan!" I was replying.
When I want to think about this strange dream that THING starts to move events around to scramble it. I woke up with fear and that copulating mate of the most profane turned and tossed in her bed.
Carlo DJ
Perhaps it was not clear. My delusion is that that some one chase me everywhere and that one can read my mind with the precision that I read my own mind. I have seen him that looks like a man, a male human so in this comment I call him with the masculine pronouns temporarily. He has reached himself to the highest position in the world only to be authorised to continue harassing me. He also induces lucid dreams to my mind. I have noticed that in his mission he is not afraid of committing anything to suffer me without considering or having any qualm for their consequences. I have never could frighten him except in two things. One is the fire. He is very frightened of the fire deep inside him. When I am awake he is reading my mind and in a very limited way can also suffer me bodily. When I go into the sleep, he tries to remain attached. Every an hour or two every night I see lucid nightmares and I wake up in bad mood. It is twenty years that I have this experience. In recent years. at the beginning of going to sleep especially if I go to sleep during the day, sometimes, in fractions of first seconds I can overpower him and I see my own natural dreams. In an occasion I said, “Oh fire!” And that was all I could. I heard that he, my delusion mind reader, deeply became frightened. That gave me the idea that why in the middle ages the church believed in burning the witches. The second thing that I noticed that the mind reader is very frightened is the dream that I saw when I was five year-old. We had moved from an old house to a newly built house. I was dreaming that I was in the garden of the old house. This dream was very lucid and has been carved in my memory and has hints to sky and to the underground and to God and to Satan and I was between these two. And I was in authority and I was a man, a young adult in the dream while I was only five years old in bed. Now, the dog is a magnificent being to my mind but in that dream it was not. That mind reader, when I am thinking to that dream, tries to scramble this dream and change the time of events, such that I get trivial interpretation from that dream.. As those frequent house moving is correctly registered in my memory, he cannot succeed since I compare events with the houses that we were living before and after and get milestones. I always ask the mind reader that at what time he started to read my mind, at what time he started to induce me lucid dream, how he induces those dreams to me. Yanis used his humour in questioning whether the mind reader put some pictures or a movie reel in a gadget and then I see those dreams. The questions of Yanis is actually the questions of a scientist who has encountered a strange phenomenon. He cannot ignore any detail that has been left dormant in a corner. For that dream I woke up and my step mother was in a bed next to me. When I became older I believed that she was farting loud and in my dream I was interpreting it as roar of the sky and bark of the dog. I had no other meaning for these things. I only was laughing to this idea. I believed if any saint or promised Messiah and such things might exist they should have pious preachers as their father and mother and should glow in cheeks and have big black eyes and come and give gold to poor people and with one word turn you into the stone. That dream is at the incipience of any cognition of mine from the world. Now, I believe that at that moment my step mother was copulating with Satan, surrendering Messiah to the mind reader for the price of that joy.
Carlo DJ
There is no Oedipus King involved in previous comment. My father had a separate bedroom with a usual bed and Aladdin stove. We had a type of bed. I said once. It was a stool in shape of a square, with for mattresses at the four sides, and covered with a very big duvet that spreads over mattresses a small pot of slow burning coal briquettes covered with soft ashes under the stool produced heat. My step-mother was in one side and two girls and I were on the three other sides. One tough part of the life was to survive that device in cold winters. Every year there were numbers of people, mostly children dying due to badly prepared briquettes or covering their heads under the duvets for a long time. Happily now that device belongs to past and is completely obsolete. You may find it in Japan using an electrical bulb in place of fire and all the safety measures.
Carlo DJ
Again I read, this time from a present time investigator who has recent contacts with psychiatry, not one who belongs to nineteen forties or fifties, that people who hear voices either lie or those nasty words are their own ideas. That is, they do not hear any voice. They just make stories. It is hilarious. Somebody has only one job. It is to investigate an object, a phenomenon. Then he decides that such an object does not exist, avoiding studying it. To be so lazy that even do not become attracted to the event. If I were a psychiatrist I should be shocked by such a news. "You are hearing voice of a human in your head and others cannot hear it?" How can that be? Why should one invent such a lie? To take me in chain and beat me? Even inventing such a lie is very interesting to be studied. Why he likes to remain in chain? You are human. Human looks to unreachable heaven and thinks about those twinkling objects. Tries to interpret them in the most sensible way. Then you go to university and suffer a long time study and at the end your judgment is that that the object of your study does not exist from the first day. It is one of the cons among many cons of society that a person comes to you and says that somebody in his head swearing him? I saw that dream when I was five and everybody can recognize how strange it is and how it is interpreting of my life. I hear down the cellar a ferocious animal is barking all the time in my head. And I know the society out of my window is roaring on my head. It claims being god. It claims I am five year-old. And I am banging with my old fingers on this keyboard and I am angry (I forgot to say, in my dream I was not frightened I was angry like a teacher; I was imperative) and I say that IT is not god IT is Satan.
See, I do not have any name, any nationality, any citizenship, any id, any money, any ambition. I do not ask for anything. IT is Satan driving the society in this game. IT is enemy of human.
Carlo DJ
Then from that investigation I understood that if a voice hearing person says that a voice around the clock call him, "bastard" then the psychiatrist says that it is actually his own idea about himself comes to him as a stranger voice in the head of the voice hearer. Since I have tackled that problem I like to share it with any other inflicted. Why millions of people with any bad idea about themselves do not hear any voice call them with that bad idea, in their head? So the phenomenon is not due to the bad idea of the victim about himself and as much the revises his idea the voice continues it even long after that remark is not "effective" to annoy the victim. I used the word "effective" as it is used by the voice.Hence, some one should become curious and investigate that "THING" regardless of these trite and facile instructions.
In the similar fashion, if you remember Yanis defending the Devil, he said I should go out and pretend that the catching remarks people use are not about me and allow me to be "float." Although I have done all these things during twenty years and have stamped my dignity frequently for a piece of bread bringing home, this phenomenon that I am living with it is not related to what I catch. It is something that all humanity should face it.
Carlo DJ
This lonely woman, my wife, my Ida in my sepulchre, is fifteen months who is suffering from pain in her right of her tummy without telling me. Now on the eve of the new year she has become so dysfunction folded out of pain. And the dancers, and drunk revellers watching the Satan ritual of human sacrifice, watching and waiting how the death in its most graphical form happens in us. They have some other ideas of this ritual. All of them participating to help and to enjoy the erection of snake within them.
Carlo DJ
So my wife went to doctor and again that pattern of 11:30, and postpone to 3:30 and then 5:30 repeated for her, too. Also rules were changed: the doctor sent her for scan but scan people denied to do their job. Rules changed that a consultant only can refer. She somehow understands that there is a strange behaviour with her, but it is so unbelievably painful that she denies and I do not like her to be suffered so I do not paraphrase them for her. She sees that they do not give service to us except after too much delay and harassment and with the lowest quality. I cannot tell her the story of Christopher. Jesus told him that one cannot work for both Satan and for Christ. Hence as usual we rushed to the Internet and guessing what could be the reason of pain and what we could do. Can you remember that for our beloved cat we started to change foods while she was suffering pain. For my wife, too, we have changed the food diet. It is the only thing we can do. It was very painful for me that in the flare of pain she had stopped talking to me or looking at me. She was sitting towards wall. It was just like my cat. The forces of darkness act similar in similar situations. I said that I lost my cat when I was a child and my step-sister, that chancellor of ungodliness blamed me for that. Then, I got the idea that perhaps she killed my cat to deprive me of that little thing that I had. Then she start to deprive me of the girls that I took as friend and a lot of other stories. I am not too creative to be able to write them in correct understandable English. When the misery of my life started by the intervention of Anti-Christ in my life, I got the idea that, my wife has a destiny of that little kitten. My step-sister is all the goal of that family to reign not my phallus. It actually happened. They killed all girly-ness of my wife as a human as a pet as a consort. Since our language has not any gender at all we use the same word for wife and husband, consort. We say to each other, “co-head!” By that we mean, “they put their head next to each other!” There is not such a thing in our life. I feel humiliated all the time. And I feel her, “being humiliated ” all the time. I never had seen the movie, “awakenings” before last week. I had the idea that they wanted to create a wrong message. Maybe, but I should have seen it. not that that because it defends the idea that lunatics are humans too. But to recognize the depth of idea of industrialized world about the institutionalization. Even after so much suffering I still have the idea that I am facing a doctor and want to change him towards some understanding. Actually I have been moved here to be institutionalized. That is the situation of a murderer by passion sentenced to life who asks from the next week of his sentence for pardon and he does it every other day. There is not even instruments available that such a person commits to such a fancy diligence. They even do not provide pen and paper and postal service to him to waste the time of “institution” that is keeping him. After twenty five years, every five years they can investigate his request. It is not that he decides to behave good or is remorseful or is athlete or have any art. The man asked the ward-round to go and walk outside. They said that he always can go and walk. He reiterates that he means going alone for a walk. They replied what was the difference if some of their people being around. He said that he liked to be all alone. Then a doctor said that such a request was the sign “of deep hostility” towards them!” Then they created an episode of crisis for him after the round. They deprived him of his usual walking around. They made a mess of the harmless, polite, presentable patient. They said to each other, “Look how much hostility and outrage he is pouring out!” They showed him that in a classic behaviour he was asking half a dozen other miserable people to join to a rebel with him.
(continues)
I did not continue watching the movie again this time. But my wife watched it and told me that at the end they understood that drugs are of no use and that they should pay more attention to the necessity of fulfilling some of the personal emotions of the patient, perhaps by allowing him to draw some lines on few pieces of paper. Yes, I do not recognize the depth of cynicism towards me. They forced me to live in a hostile environment, physically, and socially and has deprived all human rights of not me but my wife and my daughter then they say, “See, he is nor Messiah. He says mother f*cker to other people!” Interestingly, they have shown my website claiming me as Messiah as a sign of my need for further treatment in Harley Street. My job is not to write these things here or there. My job is to create those things such as websites and coding and such things and philosophers and business people and lunatics and politicians and scientists come and write their bad or good things there. I have shown, in contrast, my functionality in doing my job in a corner of society without even having the least of instruments with empty hands and ailing body and ever deteriorating eye sight. I have done it as professional as it should. Thousands and thousands of codes, tweaks and materials. Every thing accomplished to the finest details. That I could track that visitor to a village in the third world. It was the first time that I could out-smart this devilish, unholy creature. In that village there is only one person who has computer and he knows me and is interested to see if I am still suffering from delusion. How does he know that this is my website. There is no name of mine to show that. I never use my name, even my first name. All the names are created recently here, in this blog. There was not thousands visits to the site that I consider it a random coincidence. There have been only six visits so far. Two belonged to him. He only in a short visit has confirmed a claim given to him as the sign of my illness that I believe that I am Messiah. He did not spend time to read the material and understand what is the meaning of being Messiah. I showed it to my wife. I mean the tracking report. She had no reaction. She just cannot understand. She is just a a wretched hard working enslaved house maid, being used and abused without ever understand what cruelty has been done to her. She does not become surprised. As much I explained for her that that villain has no contact with me and with whatever I have. How he knew to visit my anonymous website and blogs and why should he? Somebody knows and has contacted with him. How somebody else might know that? I am here all alone with no friend and no social contact. She just cannot relate these things.
Carlo DJ
Not only I did not write these things, nor calling other people mother f*ckers (except in very rare occasions). It is also correct that I would not go around and tell stories of a-bomb or any other politics. I just used to giggle. I hated flirting politics or commit to things that lack remuneration and bring misery. For the job I was doing was scientific work and I was doing pure scientific work. When they said that I could not make gadgets as the others were busy in a pathological way in that activity in my work place. It is of no use that I further explain what they were doing and what I was doing. Perhaps if I can survive I tell later. It was kind of electronic works they were doing. It was in the level of hobbits works here. It was stupid. I said, “All right, I’ll do ultimate work of your horizon, to see if I can!” Perhaps you have heard that they at last sent a box around the orbit of earth. Yes, it was my previous work place who made the box. All the observing interested parties in the world said, “Yes, the frequency should be microwave!” Alas, it was not. They could not implement it. So they selected frequency of uhf. That microwave frequency was the thing that I built. I started from scratch in six months I was an ultra-expert in the field. I even wrote a book about microwave bought and printed by the university of guards through my office-mate. The guard colonel, if you remember. They had bought simulation software from China with a hardware lock to prevent its cracking. It was fifteen thousand dollar. I used a small pocket calculator programmable in BASIC language and wrote all the tedious codes authentically from my own and did all the simulation and design work all alone. My wife was in labour and I was in waiting room, testing codes on that small machine of mine. They had out-sourced it with a hefty money without success. I have all the details and drafts and notes here with me that might document on the Internet. I write it now, because I have read here that soon they might send another box and if they could make it in that frequency then my account might become a little loose. They threw my things out. The man in charge was advised to talk about “a c*nt” and relate it with my wife in a way that at that time I just could not understand but later when I think in my bed to microwave I start to feel inflamed and gradually become dog mad and my up-time become cured. Thanks god that they could not work for Satan and Messiah at the same time. Even after twenty years they could not use it. During that time I biked hundred and hundred miles in early mornings. I analytically finished three volumes of Plato and two books of Aristotle during wake up times when my wife had to feed and clean our new born daughter. Whatever already I had written I knew was only in level of an undeveloped third world country. During this period I wrote a book about superconductivity. I have it. It needed some expansion just for the matter of cosmetics but essentially it is as good as a book written in this side of the world, in the level of excellence. I wish I had written it in English. I accepted to be editor-in-chief of a communication magazine. I prepared twelve issues for one year, finished three full issues, and mocked successfully one issue. I needed to make questioner for interviews and canvassing people for collaboration and guarantying advertisements and interviewing them. I mean gauge interviews with experienced people already in the business to assess the market. In “Awakenings” a lunatic was asked how he feels, if he was OK or not. He answered, “ How do I feel? I feel swindled and old. It is how I feel.” The other woman,says, “ I always live at my twenty two. I never was allowed to live after that. I have nothing after that age to remember!”
Carlo DJ
I do not remember anything after that microwave design. I am always there: waken up early morning, shaved and showered, putting on my old dark suit which smells of light petrol and mothballs and cheap after-shaves with an old-fashioned tie ready to go to my job.
I am now become folded by the pain in my liver and itching and dimmed eyes. I re-examine the scene of the big empty house that never a guest came to it. I have experienced, rehearsed, that scene times and times again. She comes lonely with none of those meticulous services that I provide for her being ready anymore and she only takes few pieces of junk food and bursts into the tears already welled up, and of me she can remember only living with a dead man walking around for twenty years.
Carlo DJ
Yanis have emailed me that if it was my wife or was it I who had a folding pain. We both have. She believes that she can go to doctor and get an answer for it. I do not believe that she or I can get any correct information from the doctor. I had an old ulcer in duodenum that every now and then became irritating. Now, a little above that point I have a persistent pain all the time. I have not become confused that much, yet. I am becoming a bit shaky, as if by a high temperature, and the voice is fading out and in
Carlo DJ
I should clear my point when my semantics fail. I was describing my work as the editor-in-chief. Among them was my activity in designing questioners and interview and canvassing for collaboration and advertisements. I used the verb "need" that means in English as if later I should do them. No I mean I did them with all meticulousness and success to facilitate the publication. My reader might be surprised why I mention these qualifications. It is not only me. People in my place and I used to believe that developed industrialised world is so based on degrees and courses and titles. This is one issue that in the US interviewing people know but here people do not know that. So to prove that we are as capable as them we frequently refer to those things to gain equal status. This for one. Second, I should prove that I was in terms of DSM or any assessment at average, normal person in contract and terms with the society. With reference to a recent article in this website I was not in delusion or overvalued beliefs or obsessed. I had not any belief beyond the average mediocre people. I did not believe that I was bright or chosen or having a mission or being foul-mouth or clean mouth or avoiding or extremist or lazy or workaholic or honest or dishonest. I was not religious nor was I sacrilegious; just a very average citizen with similar expectations and ambitions such that buying new things go to abroad , go to expensive restaurants. I was only giggling and very energetic. I just recently understood that the psychiatry consensus is that a bipolar person swings in episode of being hyper and being down. I had not such a mood ever. For years I believed that bipolar has not such a trivial meaning. It is only something that only “they know” and I do not know. That giggling was a tick and was a defence. It was becoming gradually converted to a cheerful face of a bread bearer after my marriage. I did not hear any voice or had the idea that they are persecuting me. Even until years later, perhaps it was six years later, I still was much in control of me self. I was twenty eight days in an internationally known psychiatrist ward already visited by Goffmann, Laing and D. Cooper, Scheff, Eyesneck. At that time the voice had three or four occurrence at most in a day of one simple weakly heard word, “everybody!” You can see how much I had in reserve that could spend against such an attack. They can witness that I had not any episode of high and down or any weird, annoying dangerous behaviour. Their procedure was to keep bipolar people beyond four weeks I believe. Even when six years ago I came home I was better in terms of anything written as bad in DSM.
Carlo DJ
What was the reason that they took me there, I already said. I went to the psychiatrists at the foundation for torture victims or something; in Kentish town it was and said to them that in my previous country I had the feeling of persecution. I had lucid dreams out of context of my understating from the dreams. Dreams that if I wake up and walk around and go to bed they continue like a TV show that cuts for commercials. People talk with me out of context. They give hints related to my private life and inflammatory hints regarding my sexual behaviour and my wife. Where ever I go they know me beforehand and outsmart me to counter-measure their hostile acts. They say I should be washed. They say I have a red hat unseen to my own eyes and I have a horn in my forehead that people already are instructed to recognise and tease me by their remarks. They tell me that I should not plan for my life; it is already planned for me. Around that time I started to see dreams that I was in mint house and coins were falling out of production machines. In the dreams I got the hint that the producer of the lucid dreams is busy creating thousands of codes as locks on my body and those will be my wealth and fortune to the end of my life. Then I started to get cues from my body such as muscular twitches, unwanted plethora and pins in phallic areas, stabbing pain in head and in my teeth. I understood that coins of my dreams were those cues. Then I started to hear few times a day that one word "every body" in my head. I got the idea that if I complain that these things make me to bit me physically the unidentified agency would stop its harassment. The foundation people recognised these as paranoia as they said and wrote it to my GP. And GP, I explained earlier sent the crisis team to my house. Hence, they kept me for a month but they did not notice anything unusual in me. couple of times later they wrote to me to visit them and when I moved out of London, the local psychiatrist asked me to visit him at the outpatient. He listened to me for hours and wrote down notes. He became surprised that I was working fourteen hours a day and twilight. He asked me if I really could repair his own computer. It was 1998 and he never asked me for any further visit. At that time the voice completely had started and all the time I was hearing dirty words in my head even during that interview. I was not dangerous or anti-social manner or irritated or anything. From the time that we settled at the bed and breakfast I started to apply for anything on my way, education or work or voluntary sector or just going into any court and listen to disputes anything but staying at home. Among the job description i applied was “ to dispose all sanitary items left in ladies area, cleaning any graffiti's as instructed by the supervisor..” Or “study feasibility of 45 nanometre semiconductors, moving to fund giving premise at Germany for one year...” This last one is just in the market this year after fifteen years. Actually I was accepted in this one but regretfully Siemens withdrew the project from New Castle Uni. I have the letter from the Professor. I wrote this because we say that one goes and put his beard in the ass hole and when paid he washes his beard combs it, perfumes it and comes and sits with the preachers. I had only stress of a job in my whole life. When I was nineteen I was studying in the university and ministry of justice was sending a very modest money for me each months. On day when I was back from the bank branch, my pocket full, I told me what happens to some one who does not receive money from anywhere? Then I panicked in my heart. Still I am in that position. after forty years. I had the stress of employment. I had the stress of job and I had stress of the job. That was all of the symptoms.
Carlo DJ
By some luck I saw the movie "Wicker Man" last week on the TV. I should not watch TV. It makes my eyes bad. I should use all my eyesight for writing on the computer. But it happens days that I cannot do anything but walking up and down the kitchen and dinning, eight yards fore and eight yards back, one thousand times. Hence, I become so much bored that I have to search for something on the TV such that it does not traumatized me more. I catch from many local products and in many other products I notice the reflection of projectors and wooden decoration and small tubs, used as the ocean. I start to watch this movie on the idea that the policeman will be involved in action and arrest all the bad guys. It is produced just recently in 2006. But the plot became thicker and lo and behold it depicts my own life (as I understand my life, anyway). It is better than "The Collector" in terms of victim being male rather than female. The policeman first becomes deeply traumatized by a carefully planned plot of having a role in hurting some other people and not being able to help them out of the disaster. Then he starts to see lucid dreams and some visual hallucinations. None of the critics ever noticed that he was seeing lucid dreams and out of context visual scenes when he was awake, as much I searched. It was part of the Satanic rituals of human sacrifice in ancient societies. The victim gradually becomes mad and start ti hear voices in his head. The institution believed that it was voices of their ancestors the victim hears and interpreting the ritual as a connection to them. Nature is not that simple and easy to grasp that modern science believes. (At the end Malus understands that a female colleague of him was part of the plot from the beginning.) Then he become persuaded through a letter to walk by his own will into the arena of plot. That letter roots from his manhood and fatherhood that he feels towards a woman and her daughter That letter hijacks, takes as hostage his altruism and his love and affection. It is what already I said about moral behaviour. What we get from external instances of moral behaviour. When we are independent of human conscience, which is the place of Satan. Instead, we twine our autonomy with compensation. When we cannot answer to the robotic questions such as “What THEN… IF…” but in the arena we prove what happens then if we encounter the Devil. We prove that human cannot become “wired.” Human being delivers and creates rather than perform the pre-planned sketches. He is going to show that with pains that will inflict on him and with the most horrifying death that follows afterwards. He become cheated to go to Summersisle, a beautiful island, to rescue his supposed wife and supposed daughter from an unknown and unidentified source of threat.
Carlo DJ
When I continue my understanding of that movie, one might think that there could be hints against females. This is not correct. I grew up with three horrifying women, but later it became compensated with three soothing women; my wife, my daughter, and my cat. During the last days of my cat, I was cleaning her butt, then I noticed her being actually a girl. Well, I knew she was a girl, being so peaceful and in-door but not actually by her gender. Then I said to me, "Look, she is a girl, she is really a girl." Then, image of another violated suppressed girl made me full of tears. When accidentally i might get the sight of girls some where in TV's shows forced to play as lovers kissing each other I become so full of rage and look the other way. I know that it is not so common between women to act homosexual as it happens in men. women frustrated of cruelty of their men can approach to each other and bound together in a fulfilling non-sexual friendship. They become forced to do that as pat of the feast of masturbation for orgy of male spectators not because this happens frequently to become subject of show. That happens between men for a complete different reasons well investigated by Freud, and others after him. Phallus exists in women similar to men in global mind of humans and in embodiment of each individual and in local mind. In Phenomenology of Messiah, embodiment of phallus is shared; in Abraham with his Sarah and Hagar, in Moses with his wife Zipporah, Jesus and Mary and Mohammad and her wife and her daughter. These I counted I do not mean their stories or history as Daniel Steele might write, I mean in ontology. They do not exist without those females next to them. All the Messiah-Satan dialectic turns round this male-female picture of unification of Ying-Yang. This is very important to recognize the symbol as depicted in the movie by sister Summersisle. The religious Christian critics who have shown much interest in this Messianic movie could not get the essence. Some were so naive that expressed concern about the pre-marital sex and child birth between Malus and Willow. Malus is Messiah and through the story has not any word regarding women being condemned. Actually Satan makes both women and men de-sexualized, de-gendered like bees and ants. I see that in the movie.
Carlo DJ
Concerns of Christian critics of the movie is absurd since, the destiny of Malus is irrelevant to how actually he has lived before being trapped in the isle. There is nothing in the words of perpetrators regarding that. Julius Caesar who describes that ritual of human sacrifice among the Gaelic people says that when they couldn’t find a criminal they sacrifice an innocent person. Julius Caesar is condemned as being politically biased and that ritual had been as the watching of capital punishment by many societies. Capital punishment is not a ritual, although watching it could be a satanic practice. We know in the tradition of Abraham who replaced sacrifice of a sheep instead of a human, that sheep should be a good healthy animal. Even, when it is male, it should not be one that is castrated for husbandry. Abraham translated the terms of human sacrifice to terms of animal sacrifice. One should not sacrifice the thing that is already wasted for other reasons. Gods become appeased by real offering not by a thing that it is already lost. You could not sacrifice a criminal who is already dead. You should offer a living gift. The lady in charge promised to Malus that he would go and live next to her goddess ancestors (perhaps in situation similar to what he experienced in those two days in the isle). Such a companionship could not be filled by a criminal. I want to say that the preachers do not understand the essence of Christianity or other religions. They want Messiah comes and give them money for refurbishment of, say, dilapidated parsonage, a newly fitted kitchen, a set of brand new armchairs, some walls need plastering, gutters need some attention. It is the case with priests of other religions, as well. In Satan ritual there is no defence or debate. There is no informed consent. You have been selected in absenteeism. The lady police officer colleague of Malus tells him, “You never know who were them!” I emphasised it. I have heard each sentence told to Malus times and times told to me, with similar intention and intonation and details of body language, during this twenty years. Like me, Malus only later remembers the jeering tone of that situation when it is too late.
Carlo DJ
I frequently remember my cat. I call my wife “kitten” in my native tongue. I call my daughter “big-cat” again in my language. Forty days it is that my wife is in acute pain. This hard working “kitten.” She has to go to work. Thirteen years she has been working here. I worked seven years here, twenty years together. We brought one hundred thousand pounds from our place. We have not an iota of relief. Our mortgage from this March is reset back to the original amount, after paying one hundred thousand pounds in last seven years. We pay for private health for ten years. She had to wait a month for ultra sound, due to Rule's that we cannot investigate. A couple of days ago at the time that her pain started just at that time they telephoned that the doctor now had the result of the scan. They wanted to show that they knew what was going inside of my home to add to my suffering. This time they didn’t follow the usual pattern of 11:30, 3:30, 5:30. The doctor rural had shown a bit of respect. I believed “THEY” have become frightened. (I purposefully write this. I believe then they show callousness to prove that they are not frightened. It is the way that I behave with the “voice.” I manipulate them towards more cruelty. It is the way that Messiah proves that his enemy is a machine with no human element and is the enemy of all humans. In watching the movie, “Wicker Man” my wife believed that in last minutes people hug Malus and put a wreath of flowers on his head and congratulates her for being a great father, join him to the revelation and they live happily ever after. I believed and prayed that it would go to the end by recognition that what the story was about.) During this forty days she has become more ill and we could prevent many things if we sooner recognized its origin. She had the Cambridge diet last year and all started from that. The lady who should act as a health professional in guiding the weight losers had no warnings regarding the consequences of that diet or arrange for a professional counselling before its beginning. Yes, that lady was receiving instruction to use numbers such as 3.3 kilogram weight loss and non-sense stories about her own private life to be passed to my home. It is not possible that anybody carriers both Satan and Christ. The most trivial reason is that when some one carries Satan message he loses his integrity. He does not know what he already believed is good and correct. He becomes flat and shut down and plastic. Even now I am doubtful if they had shown enough attention in their tests. How the Cambridge dieticians does not know that if you do not use your bile it becomes solidified and block its own way? Now my sturdy, good appetite podgy kitten should suffer or go to operation. Last week she was telling me that when I become well like those times we go to restaurant and to Lake District and I take her to difficult paths on the hills. I became tearful. I could not tell her that I know that I “never go back to normal society” and I have been condemned terminally to be burnt alive. There will be no wreath of flowers even on my grave.
Carlo DJ
Last night my wife was watching a tv show that she is watching regularly everyday.It is a stupid lottery type show that participant has a box and he deals on that box. I used to watch that with her and we talked and laughed. Until recently, I noticed that I catch strong annoying cues from the show. Then I did not watch it anymore. Either she watched it alone or I sat with my earmuff and removing my glasses. Last night I sighted suddenly that the participant had put on a wreath of flower on his head. I related it to what I wrote here a couple of days ago. I have noticed that when I complain very effectively of something, they do that with all grudge and vindictiveness. I became so upset that I started to quarrel with the ill woman and she had a night shift last night and now she has started to vomit. She became deteriorated and at last it would be my fault again. She has gone to bed this morning without breakfast and all yellow. She does not go to doctor. I cannot advise her a bit. I do not know what to do. Last night i had not sleep but tossing and turning for couple of hours. How can I stay watching her suffers from tummy pain and loneliness? We have nobody in the world as friend, relative. Since we do not socialise we do not have any information and "THEY" do not give us any. This is an industrialsed country that doctors watch death for the sake of scientific achievements (it is not cynicism). We find contradicting ideas on the Internet that is of no practical use. I told her I can repair fence or computer or a washer or a piece of wiring but what can I do about gallstones. It is forty five days that we've informed the doctor. Instead, revelers are dancing and drinking around the human sacrifice.
Carlo DJ
Hence, for something that normal people do in a week we have to wait for years. My wife started to feel pain in September 2008. She complained to doctor mid of December 2009. She has appointment today to be seen by consultant and we are paying for private care. They change the rules for us. I said my wife is twice afraid of the society than me. Since, I am frightened she deep in heart also believes and feels the lack of serious attention. For the program that she liked watching even sometimes through these late-catch-up gadget for the missing episodes, now she does not watch anymore. She has become traumatized. She has become conditioned through vomiting. When you hate something you say that it is sickening. All right? We sit and read books. What about me? I have a strange feeling. Feeling of being a dog with no more claim than one. In arguing with her I said that I was a caring man. It is ridiculous. How? I even cannot fuel the car as a help. She told me she become so distressed when telephone rings, or bin people are in the street or the postman or a leaflet lady is passing from the door, outside. She becomes distressed of my potential reaction to catching any cues from those environmental events. It is true. I have become like this. Let me tell you. You know that there is a type of small dogs. They are very loving and affectionate towards their owners (they look like Milou of Tin Tin) but they do not become trained towards the strangers. They start snapping seeing any stranger at the door outside the windows, outside the fence. They are not dangerous or biting. They just become distressed with any approach and make a lot of noise. They are very kind with their owners, silently move around the house, slide in the bed. I have become one of them. I have become a type of old dog that cannot learn any trick, new or otherwise. Only I do not need to be taken out for peeing.
Carlo DJ
Having said that, it has happened for me to take me out for peeing. It happened a couple of time when some people had come in my house. A couple of time the so called friends of my daughter, few occasions. They were instructed that if I move towards bathroom they rush to the landing of stairs and look up ward and shout loudly, "It is all right I know!" I could not hear due to loud music in my ears but I became mad dog they were looking upstairs to me. Hence, my wife had to stand in front of the stairs beckoning to me when it was nobody there and standing behind the door to prevent people to use the bathroom. (There is another downstairs but they were instructed to come upstairs.) Once she had to come in to pretend that she was using the bathroom. That reminds me when I was a child in primary school and the loo was out in the garden and after the dusk maid had to come and stand at the door of building and I had to rush there and back and I was afraid that like story of one thousand nights a hand from the sky might pick me and chop my head as it happened to the "white slave" in the story.
Carlo DJ
I said that I could not do anything for gall-stone but after that my wife vomited and vomited for twenty hours and became all yellow and shouting out of pain the stone passed out and she relaxed a bit and we started to find foods which are more suitable for her. The hard working woman now went to Brighton to do her course for a week. She is more timid than me in society and as from the beginning of 2003 that they have started this type of behaviour with me overtly in this country (just like my previous country) she has suffered much in her study. She is a bright and good student got her diploma here with commendation and then did 998 with great marks and after some time started her BSc honour. She did that smoothly and swiftly and get to submitting a dissertation to be eligible for honour degree that this plight happened. Suddenly the face of teachers changed. All the rules changed to some ad hoc unwritten strict talks. As she is scared to argue with them (I am not scared but it has no use, if I insist they call the constables) she immediately accepts and they did not gave her honour and she only got BSc. After sometimes she started another diploma while working in the related ward mostly by her own payment. Ah, god they suffered her at each paragraph; resubmission after resubmission, re-sit after re-sit. But she continued steadfastly until the last submission in June. They postponed her graduation to September and reasoned that due to that postponement her name does not go to books of graduates in that year and it was late to participate in graduation ceremonies but they promised that she can participate with next year graduates. I started to mention to her from the beginning of the next year to pop in and double check for her name and ceremony and diploma certificate. She was frightened. Deep in heart she knows that there is something weird. She does not bring it out and I do not want her because then god forbids she becomes like me. She did not go, brought excuses that here is not like that country and they have procedures and rules and ethics and they do it automatically by themselves like her first diploma but no news came out of ethic rules of bastards. Again it became late and they promised for the next year. When it was February or March she popped in without I mention anymore. They said that she already has a diploma and has the report of markings and courses she has done for this second one and she can give them to her managers as evidence of relevant education, if required, and they do not issue any separate diploma. Names of all of her cohort is in the book with their certificates except my wife. They told her that nevertheless as the level of modules were high she can use them as part of her MSc. After some information gathering she started to apply for MSc in the same specialization. All said that she should start from the scratch without using those modules. Now it is a couple of semesters or more that she has started again with the same plight of resubmission and re-sit. Among her teachers there is a full professor very old (I believe emeritus) and with some breakthrough discovery or invention something very famous saving many life. He teaches the most difficult subject. She got A++ from him. I understood that either they had not courage to contact the professor and manipulate him or he was not approachable and rejected the idea or just could not understand why he should fail a passing student. That shows that she is still a good student. Experiencing all these, my wife has lost her confidence and because is scared she has decided to go forward only up to dissertation as post grad diploma only not the full MSc. That happened to her when they revised ranks of nurses from alphabets to numbers they put her at the bottom of her eligibility with all education and different degrees and courses and experiments and seniority. She could not protest.
Carlo DJ
PS: I do not have a recollection of what month what year what happened with whom, but we have documents that I can look up in case.
She is very simple hearted and effervescent and that helps her that people be fair to her, but the intervention I see and feel in my life goes to people and manipulates them to behave nasty and compensate for her being liked by the people. This is hilarious. Since should suffer naturally by a discriminative environment and she could change it by being polite, helpful, kind and professionally follows the good instances of behaviour towards her work, the intervention forcefully has levered the balance back as if I am there with my dark complexion and feline type behaviour. (Well I am like her but only I am dark and feline. By feline I mean I do not know that that I am "Niagara") My wife is not "Niagara" and give the immediate impression that she is from around here. I noticed deep to my bones how much difference that could be here. The intervention has counter-balanced that by telling people that she is actually a "Niagara" in heart and should be behaved as one. Since in heart she is "Niagara", like other "Niagaras" she is frightened. And now the intervention happily takes advantage of that. If ever she finds out what has happened really to me and ask them if she has enjoyed that life, she promptly admits that she has enjoyed and we had not any problem in life. She hides everything and out of fear gives evidence against us and collaborates with the perpetrators. I know it is all due to me being her spouse that these happened to her. I never blame her for being socially fouled in this way. Bandits attacked a couple travelling in desert. They rubbed them and then drew a circle on the ground and put the man inside the circle and told him that if he put his toe out of the circle they would chop his head. Then they abused his wife and left. The woman complained that the man should show some zeal. Man said that he put his toe ten times out of the circle in defiance of bandits command and they didn’t notice. I walk and swear and curse people walking in my home (rather her home) and I believe each of these abusive words has a ten pound penalty in a court of law. So everyday I am stealing ten thousand pounds of legal invections while walking in the kitchen. (Kitchen is the farthest point that any can hear and complain).
(continues)
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With this technology she has found scores of her friend from her school days. She gasps I have noticed. All have five children sometimes a little grand-child as well. They have pictures of their husbands, not hiding with earmuffs, picture of a small clan of their own around them. They have degrees and PhD’s and positions in my native place or different countries around the world. (I never asked my wife that she should study this or that. My house was an academic place. I always told her that whatever she likes she should pursue. We always talk about these things and how it is good a life long learning. You know she always do Sudoku, not much gossiping about celebrities.) Sometimes she become tearful and she always is unapproachable to talk one word of romance, any ordinary talk of life, happiness, those days. She just becomes mad dog and I go into an episode of feeling a dead dog. Last October was our 22nd anniversary of our first meeting (an arranged meeting). In our native calendar it was like this, 8/8/88. (yes, it is many infinity all standing together.) It could never happen again such thing until one century later. I knew, but I could not suffer her by mentioning a meeting that brought disaster for her, as she believes. I am the Beast of the story and no rose petal has remained for me to give any hope to her. I actually saw that diabolic witch and insulted [him]., and that as a complete replica of the story happened to me and during the days I talk with teapots and chandeliers in the loneliness of my castle far from anybody and all the people know and show my home as the place where that “Beast” is living to me and it is not far that they come to burn my house. And in another face I am the father of “Bella” doing tinkerers' things, accused by a conspiracy as being lunatic and the bribed asylum director with his caged cart is waiting outside the door to take me away.
Carlo DJ
I wrote a comment on a nurse note written on mind website regarding his/her new conversion to medical model. Later I checked that they had removed it. Appreciation of effectiveness of chemicals I believed, with my humble information, is due to lack of knowledge in biochemistries. There are zillions of molecules, giant molecules, in body, created in billions of years and they might be a corner for some reasons without becoming activated and they act perhaps in level of few molecules to pico-grams. Drugs that humans produce work in levels of milligrams and more and flood the fine structure of human biochemistry blindly. Body starts to clean the flooded areas and pack the invading poisons out and this house working might take the human body in sleeping phase and similar reactions you see in narcotics. For example, diskenesia or whatever is its name is like when you clip a tag to the ear of a dog. He constantly moves his hand in struggle to remove it. Each cell in the body while in aggregate collaboration feels himself as an individual independent and autonomous entity in charge of defence and survival and sustenance. and it starts to move himself from the poisonous area. That is the reason that one might look sane in observation for a while. If poisoning continues body cannot revamp for the flooded area and forever loses many expensive assets. You might be surprised why I am so bold in biochemistry. It is due to my experience with the voice. The voice can become physical with my body. For example, suddenly it shows me an image of a hand. It is not like a picture. It is visual remembering or image that looks holographic in mind. Then as if the hand with its nails its tips of its finger scratch from within inside my tummy from chest bone to my nipple and further down and I feel something very bad, bitter, shivering, tickling, itching, churning, folding from inside. At certain time it could mix it with an immediate one to my noise, to my genital, to my right side or left side at an unknown point. That could happen hundred times a day. For different reasons such as I thought that I would f8ck all of THEM at the end; I was delighted; I looked at the woman in telly; I became doubtful which mug I should take for coffee. That took me to convulsion. I knew that I convolve me informed, open eyed in Zen just to shed that inexpressible, intolerable suffering from my body. I used different strategies to eliminate that. IN one occasion my beloved cat was sleeping in my lap. I could not make an informed convulsion. She could become scared out of sleep. I tolerated what the earth and mountains could not tolerate. I already had used amitriptilin I had for my neck. I slept one night with it. From early morning [IT} awaked me and started those signs. At first they were not recognisable, then gradually gained their former amplitudes and as much I increased the dose the result was absurd (This is the time that if you search these comments, there is a comment of “nutty survivor” or perhaps anonymous that “Drugs are absurd.” I used that drug for a month or more. He knew that [IT} can becomes physical with me and I was using drug to counter-measure [IT]. I returned that to the heart consultant I mentioned at that time. I told him that with hypertension that I a have it is not safe that they make me angry to the level of stroke. He told me wittingly that they increase the hypertension pills until it manages my hypertension. I told him, through this website media, “It is absurd!”
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That makes me bold in biochemistry. Those painful images like the painful cues instructed in the society gives spike to my memory. They are in level of a batch of few molecules of different chemicals of mostly adrenaline. They are memory and images with different amplitudes depending to time passed and original episode of their creation. That batch can become proportionately bigger or smaller on command of the memory image. Perhaps if I live, later I tell you all are phallic, originally. After I experienced that Zen with my cat, I started to use the phallic method I already had used during 1998 to 2003. I begged girls to buy me these fruit sweets. With the first knock I took one. [It] was fighting to overcome similar to the drug. I took more sometimes five sweets in my mouth. a full pack in a day until I allow me to the edge of convulsion but it could not overcome me and I took gulps of red wine. I noticed that if I take too much wine [IT] could take me to unwanted convulsion. On an observing suffered eye of my wife and my daughter wanted and unwanted looked similar un-differentiable. My mouth and tongue were always full of ulcers and painful due to acidity of sweets. I could not take any other sweets. They are buttery, calorific, hard to my ailing teeth and creating acnes in my scalp. At nights I had to brush my teeth and be careful not to become forced to go out for dentist. I could take a gulp of wine. Gradually, I could reduce the intensity of that experience. One night I had two bottles of wine. In the middle of the night [IT] made me awake with one of ITS insight giving lucid nightmares and immediately gave the image with the excuse that I was delighted. I noticed that it would cause an automatic worst type of convulsion. I burped to shed it from that unknown point of my tummy. It worked. When I devise something it works at the beginning and the [IT] tries to overpower me. Meanwhile the amplitude of that signal decrease one order of magnitude. Gradually I did not need wine and sweets. I started to use my own body by burping. It did not stop. Still it gives that image. But when it gives that image [IT] cannot give dirty words and IT has to go to silence. I learnt to create heartburns by burping three or four times. That acid kills ticklish feeling inside my tummy. This molecular biochemistry is beyond that wildest dream of present science. I only write that in that comment that one becomes more humble when learns more. They did not print it. Then Yanis copied a comment learned here from Wolfgang Strauss. The first comment for that MIND article was by a psychiatrist started as “I cannot be more agree of your article.” Yanis answered, “Ya, ya, said the donkey!” it from the book “As said Zoroster!” by F.W. Nietzsche. Well, this also was not printed as I checked in later days. There was some comments after those from the Impostor who persecutes me even in blog worlds.
Carlo DJ
Wit of that comment was that the name of the writer of the article was Zoroster and he (or she) was already having a philosophical attitude towards mental illness (as she explains), but later converted to biological approach and that article was an apology for the past philosophical and moral approach. That reminded me the book of Nietzsche where Zoroster who was believed, according to Nietzsche, to be the first who preached morality among men, withdrew his old preaching (Nietzsche was sarcastic but in a bitter way, I believe). Yanis’ comment, in response to one traditional coercing psychiatrist, was very impromptu. I did not read the article fully and none of the comments. My eyes are very bad now. Something like a cloudy blob distress me in my left eye when I work a bit on computer or TV. It is different than those floaters already I could see on my sight.
At last, I found few dry days and streets was empty of cars and I went and shine cleaned street. I used to do that before Christmas such that one could have a clean front door at the festivities. After three days of cleaning remained not a single leaf around. My wife told me, "What a nice front, have you licked the street?" And I could bring one moment of happiness for her, for her suffered stamped crumbled tormented livid soul. As I did not notice any harassment, for a couple of days I was in delusion if they have stopped. This morning I sat in the bed and listened without ear muff but after ten minutes some body called harassing cues again. Frequently they address their dogs or their children to make it more painful for me.
Carlo DJ
I am confused now. I have started many stories without being able to finish any of them. So I decided to continue the story of "Wicker Man" movie. This Movie was produced in 2006. I already have documents, such as e-mails dates back before 2006, I’ve sent to learned people regarding my situation have been similar to victims of rituals of sacrificing a human for imagined gods. Therefore, I was not influenced in describing my situation by that movie. Some anthropologists believed Julius Caesar was exaggerating in his description that sometimes when there was not a criminal for sacrifice, Druids used an innocent person. I said why they never used a criminal. They could not use a waste as a gift to gods. Sacrifice should become valet and attendant to gods and should not be an already wasted property. ( In famous leftist sci fi, trilogy, “The City of Gold and Lead” one can see that too. Later I describe). Then why Julius Caesar got that idea? I said capital punishment is not a ritual. We do not have anything such as murder, rubbery and rape in nature. These are not reason of punishment in front of god and nature. We do not have anything as conscience. Capital punishment or any punishment for these are only due to external social contract for regulation of human societies. This makes Abraham very important in history. Watching the capital punishment could be Satanism though. This orgy could be due to essence of Satan who urges humans to watch the death in promise of gaining the eternity of gods, in promise of finding cure for the illness of death. (in Dr Shipman case – if true – you see how these two were interwoven. He had only one step short to become a full fledged mind reader as Satan is. The Collector was watching the death in promise to gain the love by having status of a god) The human sacrifice always becomes accompanied with all the villainies that humans can afford. Revellers were piercing the body and the soul of the victim with tips of the spears and tips of their cursing tongues such as cursing the victim with dirty words and accusing him of the worst accusations such as murder. In story of Moses and Jesus if these two could outsmart a perpetrator a third one at any next occasion would retaliate it such that the victim does not feel winner even for a short time. Messiah says that Moses never committed a murder out of anger when people were giving him annoying cues. It is said so in an old testament story with justifications. Jesus was accused as a criminal and antichrist urged people to forgive a criminal and crucify Jesus in his place. Abraham and Mohammad similarly were accused of antisocial behaviour. In later ages, especially when primitive tribes had too much contacts with other societies, this cursing became part of the medicine man. Human evolves and then confuses the old stories with new abstractions of those stories. Cursing and suffering of the sacrifice victim was to ignite an inner voice inside him that seemed to the wisdom of the primitives as the voice of their ancestors and their divine status. Then it became shifted as the cure for those voices such that suffering of mad became gradually the standard method of curing the madness. That could become completely preventative for any effort by the victim to overpower the voice. Exorcist should be able to curse the voice, if he can, without targeting the victim to give the idea of external support for foiling the voice. Messiah says that Jethro could do that and though he was so near to the events, he could do it in a limited way. It is just amazing: the human mind.
Carlo DJ
When I talk about Moses I deeply believe that such a person with some of the descriptions now modern human attribute to him actually was living. This is contrary to any real archaeological and historical evidence. My version also has much differences. I already said some of them. They did not kill all boys to prevent any saviour to come among sons of Jacob. Such an idea means Egyptian were followers of Jacob’s Sons in admitting truth of such a promise. They would not kill male cheap workers and leave the females. Like modern men Egyptians knew such promises are part of the delusions of under-trodden people. So there was not any boy-killing. But there was such an idea that “The Boy should be killed!” (“The drone must die!”) Any boy, a boy who is accessible. And Moses means, in that ancient language, just any boy; a boy taken from the water alleys, taken from the roadside. Jethro saw that the boy always hiding his burnt hand in his cloak, has his tongue burnt, and is so shy asking the woman to guide him from behind him showing the way not walking in front of him. He was livid and beaten and frantically frightened. He was sitting in a corner silently when the other shepherds were closing the top of the well leaving women without access to the well. Jethro noticed that Moses was very efficiently functional, powerful and hard working. Jethro gave him a job, a place to live and a wife. This is all that make him a man, a man. (Well, the job was low, being an unpaid shepherd. Moses was an engineer with some connection he believed he had with a royal court. He could not figure out whether he was a prince and that happened to him or he was a valet there with delusion of being a prince.) With the deep knowledge that Jethro had from Satan and Satanism he started his support plan for Moses. For Jethro the word “Satan” did not have the today’s meaning of a being out of the evolution of human with claws and horns and sickle teeth and fiery eyes. He completely knew the word by its meaning: something happens in mind of humans happens to come into the outer world incarnated as other humans. We have a spectrum of everything among humans in terms of evilness. Satan is the extreme of that evilness. Most of the time it is a delusion that some one stalks you, but once it is true that some one really stalks you everywhere. Nobody believes your story as it is a common nonsense repeated by many liars before you. Nobody accepts that this time it is correct, except a great, patient, resourceful mind, like that mind that Jethro had. With such a support it takes less than five years that the Voice goes back to a fading level.
Carlo DJ
After thirteen years, this spring I can say that now I have overcome the voice. Thirteen years ago around this time the voice started with all of ITS power. Before that for a couple of years I was hearing a word or two occasional during the day or when I was waking up from those lucid nightmares. From two to three years ago I was in complete control of the voice with zero tolerance to IT. But that phenomenon of occasional voice started in parallel and very harassing. The voice around the clock creates abusive remarks. That so-called second voice creates a one word wise-a-like harassing mocking remark. The first voice calls the second voice "the master" or "the sire" and says that it is the voice of the agent who chase me in the society and can remotely read the mind. From my experience the second voice tries to prevent me to overcome the voice by pretending that its source is the normal human mind not a deformed all the time abusive voice. The first voice says that “the sire” gives flow to first voice because it is therapeutic for a “psychopath” without conscience (that is me) to be harassed by his voice of conscience. Then I gradually had to overpower both voices. When I did that, then the first voice started to say that “the sire” wants to help me to destroy the the first voice. At this spring I am couple of weeks older than what my father lived. I still have to use Zen occasionally when the voice tries its ultimate with the help of its “sire” but that Zen is not that much painful and long as it was. I already had overcome the voice three years after it had started. It was around year two thousand when it started not to annoy me but to annoy people I was socializing. IT called those annoyances “HIS social CODES” Instead of talking with me IT started to talk with people with annoying hints. First it was under control. I could keep me organized. IT was feeding by feedback. At first people only felt my presence not more than that. They felt they did not like me. If some one showed a bit of love to me then the voice could not rest or stop a minute. In a minute or two IT could create hundreds of non-verbal cues. I was attractive to women even beyond my fifty. Then the voice would become fully militarized. I know the source of the voice, actually from the mind of Antichrist, as perhaps later can explain or from what I have described so far. But in that behaviour, the voice was a perfect replica of my step-mother and my step-sisters as if they are accompanying me everywhere. (That external agent is also a perfect replica of those three women with immense power beyond the law and governments and every good will of all humans, but IT is those three.)
(continued)
(continues)
I was relieved from the voice. My little family were too. I was going around and working in the society and earning money and hugging my two girls, but the wide social, in particular females, would become annoyed approaching me. It would start by a non-verbal cue to my wedding rings, then finding lines in the face of the subject. It would not do it in one session. For two three ten meetings IT constantly gave “wedding ring cue.” If the subject had caught once or twice then IT continued until the subject become flooded. It was connection and hand shaking of the voice with subject and “strobe-ing” was completed. Then it would inhibit me and enable the receiver for further cues (I use terminology of computer such as hand-shaking, strobe, inhibit, enable because IT is such a perfect machine). When the lady was old the cue was “I fell in love with you gorgeous can I have sex with you?” When the subject was young the cue was “You are so ugly, I am very shy and cannot do it! I am a poof!”. (This last quoted from my step-sister as if I was sixteen and she is accompanying me.) It could touch the body of the subject as my own body: “that big nose” Then it took it gradually to men. In mixed racial situations: “You mother fucker English I am a nigger hating you” in a fraction of a second when I addressed an ethnic, “You ugly humble servant nigger!” Still, I was much happier. Among them one should be St Julian the Hospitator to embrace me, look into my face, breast to breast mouth to mouth because I was cold and shivering and there was none. When you say Messiah it has infinite dimensions. He is not to repair the parsonage.
Carlo DJ
You might decide that all has gone on a Freudian model. That is correct. As I look into my life, I understand how far Freud was a great genius similar to Einstein, but in his own field. Story of my life is consistent with whatever he said. I became neurotic based on his model. I passed all the bitterness of abuse I received in my life and survived by analysing things happened to me. This is the reason that I called my place in the web in honour of Freud. And I am old and feeble and cannot go to further detail. The product of Freud became a market product in the US and stopped its further discoveries and ingenuities after that. But now, I am not in that position anymore. I have that under my foot and then leaving it behind me now for that further discovery. One that unifies anthropology with psychology and with origin of religion. Why human has tendency to live social. I said that in a mixed audience, the voice gives two types of non-verbal cues to different minds. I said in a fraction of a second. This is not correct. The voice does it without any time interval between them. The voice speaks in a proto-language understandable by all humans. It defies causality. Effect happens before the cause. It is immediate communication with speed of infinity. It is only in ontology that “I” is ahead of “IT” Nobody ever has studied this amazing phenomenon. Nobody ever has been curious about it. I believe there is an entity as Antichrist that is pure voice. These goes beyond Freud’s neurosis and categorize you as a psychotic bound to no further investigation in the society. That Antichrist is very rare to happen in nature but not impossible like bearing octuplets in humans. If that happens then you can find all the properties of that voice incarnated in body of human. That thing chased me in the external world in human society without people become curious about that entity. The Thing repeated all that I had survived again and again on me with limitless power that IT gained until my soul succumbed to ITS voice. Again I survived even that but now gradually my goblet is becoming empty as much I thriftily I sip it to save it for longer time. Now gradually I become sure that I am losing my shelter and my last connections to the world.
Carlo DJ
Now, the voice and the traditional coercing psychiatry (both are abet to each other) believe that those cues are genuine ideas, are my own mind not something external. They say if I do not lie to me such a hint will not emanate from my mind. It is not true. All the fight is here. They take you to police, based on the idea that some witness saw a man with your description was breaking and robbing window of a certain shop. You become frightened since it is all trouble to prove contrary. Then you show all the signs of some one who has done it. Is this because you believe that you should break the window? You are frightened of many other things. On the other hand, if you watch these airports documentaries the man who is carrying half a million dollar narcotics is so cool, so ordinary, that suggests the customer officer (Due to experience of the officer) that he should have something. One easily can be trapped in a destructive feedback loop like the bridge that might collapse with tic-tak of a watch. It right goes to phallus. I was the subject of constant rape. Rape of phallus. There is a dialectic between those three women and Satan. I said I saw that carrier of all the darkness and he (IT appeared as a he) and he suggested that "Someone must suck you!" How the lady of antiquity rapes a man? By using that instance of language. The way that snake stings. In the movie, "The wicker Man" the little girl and her mother rape the kind-hearted police officer who was helping them with his life. They were organs of a queen ant who inbreed aimless genderless personality-less worker-ants who maintain a vicious circle without even thinking to escape from that circle. There is no global mind. There is only an organ of intrinsic behaviours. See, there is human. It is extreme of evolution. It is an organ. Brain is to keep the man standing. His face is turned ninety degrees (It is huge) He has got skull at the top in place of the rotated face. These have made him separate. Additionally he has got a mind: he interprets moon as a lantern for meeting of lovers and calculates when it might shade the sun in a century. This is extreme in extreme; ten order of magnitude higher than the organ that keeps him standing. Then he has a global mind. Here he becomes the God. One that he knows as the creator of the world. Global mind is the sanctuary. It is the hiding place of all humans. It is where the rituals of human, his love making with eternity is performed, where the original copy and engrave and mould of human is kept in case that replicas become damaged and lost. In the Summersisle, there is no such hiding place; all are exposed and naked. (yes, bee and ant. It seems I confused them, but it is not the case. I’ll explain).
Carl DJ
I was saying how the voice can communicate with audience, with other people. it was something in my mind but people could read it from a distance. So the mind reading is possible. If you see that phenomenon in nature then you can see it in full spectrum. you should watch for it everywhere then you can observe instances of that phenomenon and some instances in far ends of the spectrum. The coercive traditional psychiatry says that it is all my own attitude or my own thinking that was annoying for the audience. Still it does not change the fact that people receive it without I talk or do a movement. They receive it instantly, frequently with breakage of causality. Why causality was breaking. The people respond ahead of the “voice”. It is amazing.They are like me ontologically ahead of the voice and with me collectively, globally respond. that breaks the causality in time. People tried to prop me when they became familiar with the phenomenon, as explained by Goffman. People do not allow you to fall, even if you are enemy in the local mind. In the global mind all are one. But the voice did not stop. I used techniques such as “Let it happen!” similar to what stutters might do as Johnson and van Riper had done. The voice continues after that to foil me and the patient audience. It become dirtier and ruder and promptly responds. The voice tells to the subject, “You are fat!” I use this technique (non-verbally): “I do not care for that attitude” When I talk this way, as human to human the subject understands the situation but the voice continues, “What a glut you are!” It sometimes continues up to 10, no five or six message. People become overwhelmed with that much. The forfeit in favour of the “voice” and hateful of me. In movie of exorcist a firm man should approach the “Satan Stinged” subject and tolerate all those squalid vomiting until get him to the subject. Then Satan would escape from the body of the subject. My symptoms were much simpler than a stutterer or a Tourette sufferer to tolerat and should be gone at its outset
Carlo DJ
All these happened very slowly and very gradually. When the voice started in its full talking form thirteen years ago. It told me (in one version), that "he" actually meant it when "he" saw me in the street in Trieste and said that some one must suck me and now he would show me how he suck me from my phallus and empties out everything from my tummy and from within my chest and from that point "he" fills me with new things, new good-smelling things. This story is so long that foils me to tell you. Everything is consistent with Freud, with findings and observations of anthropologists. It raped me from my phallus. It actually did it from that point, slowly and gradually until it came a day that nobody could tolerate me due to smell of those things.
Carlo DJ
So all that is like a stutterer. It is not dangerous. Have you ever heard that one should be detained or forced to treatment due to dangers of stutter for other people or danger to himself or for his well being. Johnson, I mentioned, the pioneer in systematic of stutter himself a stutterer has blamed the parenting for stutter. Is his proposition is so famous and controversial as Laing's similar assumption? But stuttering is very annoying and stutterers seek jobs that do not become face to face with community. They do not become a teacher. It makes pupils mad and could be transitive or the stutterer might go into the shock. Mine was like that on the last days that I was in society. It did not exist when I was in Shenley hospital. It was not there in numerous interviews I went. I frequently had to make a presentation publicly. Still, I was seeking for jobs to be comfortable rather than being important. For example, it made me very relaxed when I tidied shelves of a shop or a library, even without being employed just when passing by or when I was standing there. I did it automatically. There was a gentleman, his accounts was produced in a TV documentary. He was stuttering. He made websites but his wife made all the communications with people as if he did not exist. Then the wife became pregnant and for some time she could not be contacting to sustain their their income. All the facilities that Britain provides for her indigenous (I am without prejudice about this remark) subject, psychologists, TV, expensive private institutions and charities gathered, but at the end there was not much progress. Did they start to harass him or his wife or his daughter? Never. Perhaps they arranged for a multiple benefit pack for them during the leave time of the wife. For me, the intervention was hiding behind the door craving to start the carnival. They wanted to sacrifice my family and me for the sake of that gentleman, Sarkozy, and others. (with such a justification). What they have in their panoply is a small thing from social psychology has been used with limited application with an out come of four percent (4%) effectiveness, that is if you use the word “nervous” or “confident” the subject becomes comfortable. With such a humble tool, they incarcerated me in my house with my wife and with my daughter. They believed the limited range of that miracle is due to not having total access to the subject and if they continue it without allowing the subject to escape or move, and the subject having no hope of any revision then something will change. They cannot do it with Sarkozy because he f*ck their mothers. He even censors the footages containing his ticks. All the world comply. Nobody becomes happy of watching the misery of another human (I am sorry too). So they are using me. It was not of any help to me. In contrast, it grew the voice into a behemoth. Every time that they annoy me, in a way, the voice become live and kicking for a time until I can take it back to its place. It is the tail of that external snake who lives under support of this society. Who chase me. That behemoth reptile who has emerged on the earth to corrupt the word and destroy the world with humans in its centre.
Carlo DJ
Well, I was not nervous. I also had not a lack of confidence. You can remember the British young singer, very recently. He was not nervous in any meaning. He was very confident too. He only could sing, better than other people, but he could not talk even in saying yes, or no. This kind of help, saying to supposed panicked person, Are you confident?” Or telling him, “Are you nervous?” The game around these words now have backfired. It is just like me. It is hilarious. These words have become full of Satanism. It is that I said Satan corrupts the words. IT corrupts the global mind of human the place which is the reservoir of language. Human means mind. Mind means words. Words mean human reasoning. I have seen that. They took the lady, of certain age and status, in TV news to declare her position on some affair of that day related to her position. She was a bit shaky. Then the presenter wanted to HELP her. He purposefully used the word, “phobia.” The poor lady mime went into the oscillation. She wanted to keep herself composed with a sugary smile but losing her mime into a panicked face. I said that thing about the screech of loud-speakers when the feedback builds up. A particle stage crazy person becomes a classical dog mad by feedback. A concrete bridge collapses with tick-tack of a watch. The TV lady I mentioned was a bit nervous or a bit shy. Children accompanying their parents to visit a friend. First they do not talk. They do not touch anything. Then they take on candy. Then gradually start to talk. After an hour the room is on their head and parents should cut the visit short before they start to demolish the house. Nobody helps them with linguistic cues. The TV lady could compose herself if she hadn’t heard that word of monster as a help. I saw Ms Pelozi, when wanted to use the doomed word, “confidence.” She is seventy year-old and fifty years on the stage.
Carlo DJ
That brings more Satanic intervention in the society, extending number of taboo words. Then it comes to intervene for extinguishing the effects and side-effects. At the end we have full prostitution of the words. The rural words come to big cities to marry the princes and celebrities but end up into the brothels. And solution remains, like good old days, only cocaine for those who insist to remain on the arenas which is not comfortable for them. Johnny Cash came on the stage talented and with great ovation. Then it came a day that he felt there was too much crowd, too much projectors, too much girls, too much money. Too good to be true. He could stand it only with the help of a poisoned blood. He just couldn't go there with a clear mind. Then again came a second day, only many years later. He went there, without counselling, without drugs, all due to a woman who loved him. Parkinson, the British philosopher of management, says if you write a right advertisement for your job then only one right person comes to you and you do not need to interview him. Quote ends. And you do not need to tell him , "Are you nervous?" It is not necessary for him to learn interview skills. The famous deceased cartoon magazine MAD says, "In last three months, I was responsible for all day to day … " could mean plainly, “In last three months, I was sponging off my sister.” Intervention, I said that has an “Impostor” accompanying that mind reader. That, I saw in the street in February 1989, and told me, “Some one must suck you!” said to me that his “brother” was around. I had only few occasions to acquire some information about this phenomenon. I understand that some one accompany that mind reader that satisfies the needs of that carcass for food and shelter. The mind reader, does something like an animal, an ape. That Impostor is after gaining power on the earth utilizing the mind reader for reaching to a personal achievement. I am in the hand of the mind reader as a pet, as a toy like Miranda in hands of “The Collector” like the mouse in the hands of Lennie. Impostor is George in this respect. (I am sorry that story has a complete other interpretation. It means proletariat without leadership of party could destroy the revolution.) I am regretful for this simile I used here. Impostor knows that his intervention and reading the mind has no positive effect of me. He wants to use it to show off that it is used for a good cause of improving a mentally ill. He took me to the arena such that people behold those symptoms and judge it as a bad epileptic fit. Then Impostor claims that by the intervention he tries to fix them, I have seen that my attempts become overpowered to backfire to me. I was looking for a witness to prove how miserable has become due to that intervention. But intervention made people witness to my symptoms. The story of this extraordinary plot is beyond retelling. It is beyond the grasp of any human. One should only believe it without acquiring knowledge to the details.
Carlo DJ
The voice is disappearing. He already had promised me several times that He becomes like daemon of Socrates to me but ended up more abusive than before. He has asked me to use masculine pronoun for him and do not call him it. He says he is not as bad as a tenth of Impostor and is a part of nature. And still I use masculine pronoun for Impostor. He asked me that helps him to die with honour accompanying a gentleman for thirteen years. He asked me to repoprt this, here.
Carlo DJ
The intervention had the idea that if one cue word is so helpful (well, they believe cueing reduces epilepsy in reactive depression or in psychosis bipolar. I understood such a predicament through my experience)in that case if they can do it around the clock then it miracles, This reminded me one of our native stories. We dilute yoghurt with salty water as a summer drink to compensate for salt and water we loose in the heat. We call it just 'dilute.' One noticed that a man was pouring yoghurt in the sea. Asked him what he was doing wasting yoghurts. The man said that he was making 'dilute.' The passer-by said, "It does not become [dilute]!" The wasting man said, "If it becomes, then it becomes a lot [enough for all]!" We are using this story as a cue by saying only "It does not become!" in engineering, in business, in politics in cooking, whenever such a proposal is behind the act of someone. It is twenty two years they are cueing to me around the clock with abusive, sarcastic, and cruel way. It is similar to what Yanis told from psychiatrist ward in "The Simpsons" that wanted to treat Ned Flanders epilepsy or his hostile attitude with respect to his neighbours. The used abusive words to make him excited and extinguish his gibberish talking. It showed that such an intervention had no effect. But coercive traditional psychiatry believes that pouring pebbles on top of each other at last reaches you to the moon. They believe that for the Ned Flanders one or two session was not enough and if they could continue it full time to the hell then the man at last should talk without jabbering to say, "I am dying!"
They needed some one to have a total access to him to prove this proposition.
Carlo DJ
Coercive traditional psychiatry believes that all the mentally ill people feel that they are becoming better, while it is not correct until they become treated by the professional ways that they suggest. Even I have read that they never withdraw their labels on the patient. If some one becomes better they say that his illness is in recession and at any minute by any irritation might relapse. If somebody becomes very very cured they say that a wrong diagnosis has been made from the first day. Therefore if I record that the voice was disappearing at the time that I was on my job and became much more powerful when I started to stay at home seven years ago they do not accept. The voice says that he "barricades" in a "position" until people come to help him. Even the voice knows that they actually help him rather than me. When I came home and could not go to work IT showed me in the lucid dreams that “parking” is forbidden and “the police” will intervene. (It has put numerous name on me during these years through cueing of people around me and use them in my lucid dreams; names such as aircraft, auto bus, car. It is a very long story. You cannot believe. I cannot write.) Then IT started that painful signal on my tummy, on my chest, on my throat on my nose. IT started them by waking me up by nightmares when I could not make me busy doing things. It becomes augmented until it turned to those fits. I told IT if IT can remember my chain. In my native place there was not any insurance and people could take your car when you had parked it in the street. Hence, car owners used chains to make it difficult for burglars. They chain steering wheel and chairs together, to prevent steering the wheels freely. (I am forgetting more words) One day I was invited to a dinner, but I could not find the key to the chain. I had a very small file available. I started to saw the chain. It took two hours that the file passed through the chain. My happiness took a second or two, the rings were very thick and could not pass through each other. The second attempt took less time and one piece of the chain fell out and rings could pass. I have kept that with me carrying it always as the symbol of my endurance. I have not yet decided to take it with my ashes or leave it for my daughter.
Carlo DJ
The other thing, I learned is to encourage the subject by showing example. For instance, the experimenter suddenly stops gradual desensitization and puts his hands in the snakes jar and removes one and plays with it. In a vulgar version of it I recently saw, in a dramatic moment, the female TV presenter put both her hands on her breasts to help melting inhibition of the audience. (This story is under construction somewhere else.) Here, at the beginning of these set of comments, The Impostor voice suddenly started to play rude against one of the participants. This was known from ancient times using by parents to encourage their child. Let me tell you a story. In ancient times in my native place people used to buy slave swordsmen (similar to gladiators) for convoying their caravans. One a caravan-lord went in the market to buy one of them. He noticed that a seller had very well built fierce looking swordsmen for one hundred dinars. While he was examining them he noticed one small yawning in a corner. Asked if that one also a slave fighter and what is the price of him. The seller says that he certainly is a swordsman but he is very expensive, two thousand dinars. The caravan-lord became surprised. He asked why the man has not any height and muscles should be so expensive. Seller said, “He is a zealot man. He becomes very dangerous if provoked.” The caravan lord bought him on curiosity. On the way to their trade forty bandits attacked the caravan and plundered everything belong to each person until they get to the half naked small-sized slave with a small machete. They asked who was that ridiculous one carrying a weapon. People answered, “He should guard us against the bandits.” Bandits laughed and said that in retaliation they all would f*ck him, as well. The first bandit did it. The second did it. The caravan-lord was watching where was the zeal of the man. The third did it. Until the fortieth bandit did it. At this moment the slave face became red and crimson, his eyes fierce. Shouted, “Enough!” Grabbed the machetes and overpowered forty thieves and slew all of them. When they were back, the caravan-lord took the swordsman to the seller and asked for the refund (perhaps with some deduction for re-shelving). The seller said that all the region were talking about the zealot slave great feat; why the buyer was not happy. Caravan-lord said, “Next time could be that a group of only thirty bandits attack the caravan.”
Carlo DJ
I learned these things, like other people when I was seventeen, when I was twenty, when I was thirty in a hope to use them in my life. I did not learned these because they caged me and trafficked me and now it is seven years I am buried in my house. My life never happened. and will never happens to use these insights. Can you remember "The Wicker Man?" They took him out of his bed and locked in the water reservoir the night before the day that was destined to kill him. Did you notice how patiently he waited till the morning? They feast a criminal before his execution, but there is no feast for the human that should be sacrificed on the altar of Satan.
Carlo DJ
I said these stories that people can figure out what is practical and what is not; story of "dilute" or story of zealot warrior. One might say that many things for common sense and a century ago was not practical but today, thanks to new developments have become practical. That could be. They send three people frequently to moon, forty years ago. The whole project took five years to reach its goals. That included solving psychological problems in adapting human to such extreme condition of living in dangerous empty space of planets for a long journey. They had to solve thousands problems. I am seven years in my house in Britain under severe harassment without being able to go independently to an optician. I am becoming blind. They say they are using a modern technique, supposedly, to treat me for the symptoms of teacher's burn-out. It is more difficult than going to moon? Something was as big as a house when they started on me on January 1990. Now that thing is as small as a stamp. A couple of weeks ago two police car came and parked in front of my window, one at the tail of the other. They left they car for ten minutes and then returned. I became curious what happened in the neighbourhood. For one hour, when I looked outside they turning on their front light or blue light and doing gestures. I took a picture of them. They want to prove to me something. That they stay, and I leave the arena. I cannot tell the world that I am trapped in brothel and I end up with beaten, drugged, livid body on the table of coroner. If there was a fair fight, there was a result for it. One would stay and the other should bite the dust. Normally, in such situations I go from one window to another and bark like a dog the only English swear that I know. But with those villains I only could bark in my tongue, lest they hear and punish me. If you have seen one of those small dogs (Tin Tin’s Milou) they move from window to next window when a stranger passes from the outside. I say they annoy me. It is because I do not the proper vocabulary. They harass me to the hell. It is designed (at least) by psychiatry if not the Devil. People who are expert in mental suffering. Have you heard sadistic men who suffer their virtuous wives in a corner silently. Yes, let’s get to wife. The other day, after that day they created another episode. If I was alone, I could bark. But when my wife is around she become dead frightened (as I already explained) that my voice becomes loud. So she puts herself in between and I bark at her. Hence, she goes to another attack of pain for days and nights. I learned that besides her physical pains she had episodes of panics for more than a year. She was there, two nights ago watching TV. I was writing codes on the laptop. We were laughing and talking. Suddenly she felt room was whirling. Her blood pressure rocketed to 180. Then, after three hours it came back to normal. I write these things since The Impostor posted that he would publish his psychiatry model (meant what they have done to me to change things to better). For whom things change to better? Everybody else is similar to me if I deserved worst for any reason they receive the same treatment for that reason. The Impostor tells people that I have been left free to choose whatever they have decided for me as the treatment or live in such an immense misery. He purports that I hurt myself further due to my own choices, due to my character and perhaps due to my disease. This is a long story that I am going to investigate. Carlo DJ
I said people could read those improper hints from my mind. That thing inside could communicate with people bypassing my real context, similar to Tourette syndrome but in a silent way talking abusive with people, catching their responses and sending the second message and it could continue communicating a handful number of messages until the target becomes overwhelmingly embarrassed and frightened. And could pretend that it is my own attitude that propagates. I hope I can discuss them further late. But now I want to say something else. For first, people say that it is not a matter of mind reading but it is seeing the body language of the propagator that conveys the message. I already had checked that it was not related to "seeing" the body language. Even from another room people have caught those hints, felt uncomfortable, without seeing me. It is not related to usual senses. Now I read something about a gentleman who became blind in brain due to stroke. His eyes remained intact. He cannot see anything. He needs cane and dog and help of people. But he can see "humans." He can read their emotions in his "mind." He can understand if they are happy or sad or frightened when they approach him. This is printed in "Scientific American." The study is done in Britain in Uksford. I always have said we are sure that for every phenomenon there is a spectrum: one instance here, one instance there. They do not satisfy the full criterion. They are pointers to the theory that is merging in our mind. They help us to prop up a good theory; to become inductive. I do not say this gentleman could read the mind of others as I attribute to "Anti-Christ." I say it shows that it is not something in the organism of seeing. I already said that our brain is our skin more specialized.
(continues)
(Continued)
I said (traveller read synthetically) that my mind is my phallus (male or female) and since I have not any phallus to check back it further as a sign of surrender to the “ruler”, skin around it has started to wither; to cover my entity in a crustacean way of survival. That gentleman only proves that brain part of seeing has not any role in discerning the body language. You might use my assertion about the skin. Yes, in blind people skin becomes very sensitive in helping to compensate for seeing but this gentleman had not been that long blind to acquire such capability. Then what is that? When we reach to an unsolved puzzle in nature we say that it is something metaphysics. It is not metaphysics. It is all physics. When you watch an electron it is a hard bullet goes in a straight line, hit one specified point in your detecting film. He knows you are watching him. When you do not watch it, then it waves like water, strays everywhere, hits surprising points all around. In the case of this blind gentleman your mind is not in your body, it strays everywhere and among other places in the sharpened mind of the blind person who wants to “see” by any mean and cannot accept that he cannot see. He had to open a door in the global mind of humans to be able “see” in its global definition. There, there are not shapes in the sense of ordinary seeing. There are holograms. Should you harass people whom are subject of his seeing? Are they of any significance for study. No, only that gentleman is interesting to be studied if any person is interested to such a phenomenon. Is it because other people have fears that he can discover their minds. Could be that but that fear is something ordinary available everywhere in millions of people. The serendipity exists only in that blind man. Perhaps you might say that we should find someone as a guinea pig and suffer him such that the blind man gradually becomes sharper and flares of sufferings of the subject keep the suffered mind entangled and entrapped for the seeing of the blind man. Then gradually you become near to understanding of Christ’s pain and his suffering for salvation of humans and to the understanding of “Anti-Christ” as the intruder to global mind of humans, as the enemy of human beings.
Carlo DJ
I was talking about the blind gentleman who could "see" in a way. He is disconnected from his motor tools that enable him to see the world through materialistic particles of light. Then I gradually did not use the modifier gentleman and instead I talked about the blind man who could read the mind of his prey with the precision of the owner of that mind. That instance of very basic observation of phenomenon showed to me that one who chase me in society of humans is disconnected from his eyes; has got eyes but cannot see; has got ears but cannot hear; has got touch but cannot touch; has got mind but cannot think. These are descriptions of Satan. It is not that he has hoofs and claws and fangs. IT is like that but inside. Outside IT looks like a human. IT is a human but in a far tail of the spectrum. IT is the serendipity and if happens in the society of humans, from the ancient time, has got a name of ITs own: Satan. Since you are also in that spectrum, you also have a bit of that inside you mixed with you. That could be very little (Jean Valjean) or very much (Javert). The fight is not for who is legal and who is pious. The war is about that how far you are near to IT.
Carlo DJ
Briefly I could explain what symptoms I was suffering when I left society in the back and came home. I precisely knew what is in the deep the cause of it and what occurrence it has in the society and how one could reduce, cope or eliminate those symptoms. I knew what kind of support I could seek which proves better for it. I knew deep like a professional about it. Who could be more knowledgeable in such cases? I said that I believed I was not a bright person but I had few my own glorious moments occasionally. After they started this intervention, one thing I noticed was that in certain occasions when I was in a state of arousal I would forget any symptoms as Lawrence Olivier playing Hamlet for the thousandth time. The thing could not contact with people. At these points people were advised to harass me such that I return back into the hands of The Thing. That was so inhumane, so foiling. That empowered gradually the voice more and more. I said that they hinted to me that they want to make a fully classic lunatic out of me. That also was very damaging for my cognition. I never liked to take notes into the classroom. I never did. One cannot deliver his “own” to his students if he does not share his experience of learning with his students. All the difference of Messiah with “conscience” of humanists that is turning into the voice of Satanism is this. Messiah delivers. Satan performs. Messiah erects with erection of his students. Satan erects ITS tail of snake to mesmerise people into a corner of fear and annihilation. For most of my lectures I used the intuitiveness instead of learning ahead. In those moments that I wanted to deliver I would become very calm and empty of the voice. I went to teacher’s course here to learn to pretend and imitate as if I was using the standard model, but in reality use my own way. This is all Messiah about. This is what The Impostor does not understand. Satan cut people into the shapeless uniformity. Those cut pieces cannot fit together anymore in that jigsaw puzzle of creation. Messiah wants to revive those shapes back to bring the original blue print of human. Satan takes the gender from humans; takes the age from the humans. Humans are all in the same age of toddlers with no sign of gender among them like the ants without personality; a personality that changes with the next meeting. All of them become “I know!” All become performers of diabolic vanity of Satan who is enemy of human. This has come in the book of Abraham. Until his time people would not become old. Somebody living sixty years was not recognisable from somebody living thirteen years. Abraham prayed god to make elders recognisable and god fulfilled Abraham’s wish by turning his beard and hairs grey.
Carlo DJ
I noticed some writing around this website mentioning Mr peter Campbell. One point that he had emphasised on his writings was deprivation of mentally ill from being someone with an insight. This gentleman I met personally. Both were in the same place for a period of time around Easter of 1996. Later I heard his name frequently but I could not recognise he was the same gentleman. I had some hunch that he looked more like somebody studying something there. rather than being an inmate There were few of them very socialised in the place, helping in tea and washing the cups and stuffs like that. Once, a staff asked me to help washing cups. I rejected told her I washed in the morning. She said that I didn’t. I said that I did and I became a bit cross since every morning I used to shave and take a full shower after that. She actually should use wash up such that I could understand. I know the language in that way and you expect me to sustain a legal argument here. After five minutes I could recognise from the situation that what she meant and I went to help her and I licked everything shiny. Well, I was talking about Peter. I was talking to him that a female inmate came and asked him if he was a teacher of “history.” I can remember; perhaps he also can remember that I had not any special behaviour or symptoms or being a lonesome or anything of value for psychiatry detention. The symptoms I am describing are similar to teachers burn-out and I read a completely similar event interpreted as neurosis in an American teacher. One becomes de-personated. Then a run away beyond a kneeling point happens that creates an avalanche. There is no way to stand-up again except that an exorcist comes ahead and tolerates five six very rude messages from the voice and answer back to the voice not to the victim. I was sure that no referral me to a doctor will give a better answer than the other time. I should stand on the stage and face it. And I stood. What could be fair? It was fair if they had asked me to leave, but they did not. The voice has a counterpart in the society. That counter-part was behind the door and had a breakthrough solution for my case. He asked for total access to this society. He said that if where ever I go the audience harass me then under-layer disease of mine becomes cured and symptoms disappear. IT described my disease as being “bipolar” psychosis. IT asked people to hint that to me by using the word “bicycle” frequently and out of context to me. In one day all my colleague talking to me were using that word. Such as “Carlo are you coming with a bicycle (not bike) to school?” Another, “I love bicycle!” In a dramatic performance a student takes his bike into the classroom. He has a red cap on his head. I calmly asked why he was taking his bike into the classroom. Another answers in place of him: “Sir, EVERYBODY KNOWS HIM from his RED CAP. He is BICYCLE-SICK!” I ask the security why they allowed a bike in the building. The man answers with another phrasing using the same cues, EVERYBODY KNOWS, RED CAP, BYCYCLE-SICK. I notice that when I complain I receive the same offence again. All are shapeless entity with the same age and the same entity. I could vividly visualise one episode out of millions I experienced. I try to stand on my knees but gradually I am too exhausted. Confinement, lack of proper food, fresh air, open area, any friend or contact, medical attention, entertainment, sunshine chewing the last juices of my life. Pain of Christ was not an hour carrying his cross.
Carlo DJ
Peter points to a very important problem. You are just a bit shaky otherwise your head is working perfectly. You just asked for some help to cop, to fix a small problem (or if they discover you need such a help or fix), then in the industrialised world they send you to the forgotten land on the idea that you have not insight. This is a refurbished word equivalent to older smelly phrase of "being insane" or "being idiot!" This was for Peter since in a second reading I guessed my sentence could be interpreted as a negative comment about him. I should say that for sometimes I was looking for a way to find him or write to him asking him to tell "et al" to stop harassing me.
After I could write in previous comment an episode of the sadistic behaviour I am tolerating from 1990 to present, I felt that I am finding the way that native language tongue uses narration. I found it more smooth now. I felt an achievement after being exposed to language for half a century. I read (just flick through) a book of a compatriot of mine, a lady in LA from age of seven or eight. She was more rough than me though with a degree in English literature. That made me very euphoric. I decided to contact the outer world. Gradually my kitchen dining room jogging becomes more than a marathon on some weeks, putting together, sometimes more than half a marathon in one session. I contacted to establish the first record of kitchen-dinning marathon of the world. I argued in my letter that it is inspiring for the housewives and many other people who in present technology work in telecommuting way in their homes. Also due to violence many house-bound people are feeling agoraphobia and do not leave their houses. What happened? From the time that I started to do that exercise at home two years (three years? ) ago they started to harass me in a way. They bring a boy of twelve thirteen years old running at the end of the alley. (There is no children in my neighbourhood). Gradually my eyes cannot recognise who is doing what in that distance though I avoid looking at all ever in that point anymore. I have a small patch of garden in the back of my kitchen, The solitary prison of mine that I have made it from the bleak rubbles when I moved to this house clean and green. I look into it when I cook and wash and mop and jug and teach aloud and sometimes I sing. Yes, recently my voice becomes hoarse and screechy like boys who start their wet dreams in puberty age. I sing to clear my voice. Yesterday, they brought two three boys of that age with red caps and red bicycle to trespass into that garden to make me frightened, preventing me feeling joy when I am practicing that marathon, to disappoint me from my recent contact for that record making. When writing to them I even had not a smallest hope that The Thing that chases me in society to allow them to register such a request. I just said let it be there for the record of future people to know how much I was full of life and struggle and how devastatingly they buried me alive. Now I have to cover that window and make my world more dismal. I heard in the news that a gentleman younger than me recently died out of anger when boys in that age harassed him, similarly. He also was house bound and with some disability. People felt sorry and said how harmless and kind hearted he had been. Then that practice is done to my family and me legally. I started to bark from this window to another window without effect. They were instructed to stand and listen as if puzzled. My wife had cringed in a corner. She, now, becomes frightened that if argues with me, her pain might start. We both have been changed to dogs. They frequently use children during these years. I explain later as I continue on the movie, “The Wicker Man.” Satan takes the age from the human. IT infantilise human beings such that all the humans become toddlers who believe that they are adult and soon can shave their faces.
Carlo DJ
The movie, "The Wicker Man" attracted my attention at the beginning, when in a road café, Mr Malus took a DVD from the book racks. The title of DVD was "Everything is OK!" Later I explain why. When he confronted with the driving lady and her daughter in the back seat, the little girl who had thrown her doll in the road, the lady supposedly moving to the region with her daughter, the lady was mocking but frequently apologizing. (I am very familiar with this polite confrontation. The Voice calls it “The Pardon” That makes you believe that you are in a safe situation and un-guards you.) Throwing the doll in the road was something dangerous not for them but for third parties who were not genuinely in the plotted game but were potentially passing-by using the road. Mother and daughter were acting coordinated as if not being two generations with difference of ages and experience and maturity and attitude and wisdom, but as two playmates with the same age. They were both rude and lacking gratitude. They could communicate as peers not parent and child. The child could clearly understand what was the plot and could play it to the end with the nerve and skill of a performer, even in the fire surrounding their car. The little girl had understood from the heart what was at the stake and how she should perform it to win. This is the knowledge that Satan brings for human when It seduces the man to eat the forbidden fruit. It is here and now not in the fables of antiquity. The “Garden” is right here. You are now in it. To the end of story we see that all the plotting clan are in the same age in the same cognition.They are not child they are not adult. They are something else. Well, bees are magnificent creatures and Messiah likes them. Ants I normally use. Metaphorically the creator of the film wanted to add stinging nature of the bee. He has used honey and bear (the honey eater) Original sin, the creator of the film believes is sweet and stinging and the cause of the descend of human. The original sin is not reproduction by seduction of female as it is introduced in most religions. The seduction is not channelled through women. Satan believes it is the sin of (hu)man. Man wants to stay on the stage but Satan wants to oust him. So reproduction is the original sin as Satan looks into the man. If man do not fight such vigorously to the end then there is no sin, Satan says to man. Satan tells the man that he has a choice to surrender but man actually has no choice but to continue to the end. We see that in the movie. As it is promised many millenniums ago, when Messiah resurrects “He knows” what is the original sin, but “Khanaass” or “Dadjdjaal” comes ahead of Messiah and says, “I know.” Wherever Messiah goes Satan goes one step ahead of Him. When Messiah gets to them, before He opens the mouth, they say, “We know!” In the movie, we see that when Malus gets to the island, everybody knows him. He has no notion of that. Even two old blind sister without seeing him can “see” him. This was an excellent idea. They were blind but could recognize He is that One. They say, when passing by, “That is him!” That is one who should be sacrificed. And it is not murder. It is for something good in a future and He does not know and does not understand if explained.
Carlo DJ
What was very interesting about Mr Malus. He was very average. There were many to fill his room in this world. Somebody with no significance with no special interest to anything (His father would kill him if he resigned from the police force. He still was using "kill" without knowing what was waiting in front of his life). There was nobody out there to worry about him. He had no connection. He had no "I-am-safe" rendezvous with anybody. Whatever he could believe as being a bad point for himself in comparing himself to winners in the society, was the good point about him from the point of view of his predators. He even had to pay for trafficking himself to the island of Mrs Summersisle. He even was suffered by arrangements on his way on the board of ferry taking him there. He even had to bribe and flatter for the airplane carrying him to his appointment with death. He had his only dark suite on, clean and ironed but old fashion with smell of cheap aftershave and mothballs and light petrol. He was polite and assertive full of paranoia of achieving a great goal and making a crap out of the perpetrators. He was “sensitive” to stinging, to the stinging of bees. He had his humble pack of remedy with him, in a stupid belief in modern science. At his first encounter, the people that he believes have no acquaintance beforehand with him start to mock him by a stinging sarcasm. They talk in a way as if they know him already with a known crime against them and should immediately be sorted out for any assertion. They mock him, by scaring him with a fluttering living thing inside a sack similar to big children who scare little children. Everybody has many a sniggering jest towards him. He just wouldn’t notice. He keeps talking in his cheerful manner. They are very hostile. This is Messianic. They are empty of human emotions. They are mechanical flesh of human. The paradise lost is when you become eusocial cast in your function. You are performer of predestined roles, not whimsically in search of next unknown. You know. You only know. You are only an “I know!” This is what Satan promise to man as the knowledge of god. Everybody is already in panopticon. Why? Because he has not any alternative way. He is on a rail that starts from and ends to known places. (It is all right! It reduces the risk of contingency. We are not doing anything wrong; let them watch us!) This is the reason that their society remains in primitive stage. Very interesting thing I find as similarity to my story is his useless prate and carp with people who want to eliminate him in the most cruel way. He is using humble education that he has in law as part of his carrier. He is carrying an empty fire arm as the carcass of the law enforcement. He is bubbly and straight forward. He says, “murder is murder even if the victim is consent!” You melancholic head there is no victim but you! The only child among them is you. They are all adults and they all know but you. They are organisms stretched in coordination and their head is sucking your inside from your phallus and fill your empty body with smelly things. He goes to village school in search of his unseen daughter. All the little girls are taught adult materials. They all know him beforehand and are in a mood of sarcasm towards him. He is only a child among them playing the role of a police going to the blackboard trying to explain the situation for the accomplices of his murderers. Children have confined a bird in the shelf to experience how far the bird “can survive inside the shelf.” The teacher of the little girls starts to humiliate the victim of the serpent. She is rude and uses sarcasm out of any context, attributing “Don Quixote” to the man whom never she had met before. Hilarious, they want to kill him and they want to give him insight; to have insight for being murdered.
Carlo DJ
What was very interesting about Mr Malus. He was very average. There were many to fill his room in this world. Somebody with no significance with no special interest to anything (His father would kill him if he resigned from the police force. He still was using "kill" without knowing what was waiting in front of his life). There was nobody out there to worry about him. He had no connection. He had no "I-am-safe" rendezvous with anybody. Whatever he could believe as being a bad point for himself in comparing himself to winners in the society, was the good point about him from the point of view of his predators. He even had to pay for trafficking himself to the island of Mrs Summersisle. He even was suffered by arrangements on his way on the board of ferry taking him there. He even had to bribe and flatter for the airplane carrying him to his appointment with death. He had his only dark suite on, clean and ironed but old fashion with smell of cheap aftershave and mothballs and light petrol. He was polite and assertive full of paranoia of achieving a great goal and making a crap out of the perpetrators. He was “sensitive” to stinging, to the stinging of bees. He had his humble pack of remedy with him, in a stupid belief in modern science. At his first encounter, the people that he believes have no acquaintance beforehand with him start to mock him by a stinging sarcasm. They talk in a way as if they know him already with a known crime against them and should immediately be sorted out for any assertion. They mock him, by scaring him with a fluttering living thing inside a sack similar to big children who scare little children. Everybody has many a sniggering jest towards him. He just wouldn’t notice. He keeps talking in his cheerful manner. They are very hostile. This is Messianic. They are empty of human emotions. They are mechanical flesh of human. The paradise lost is when you become eusocial cast in your function. You are performer of predestined roles, not whimsically in search of next unknown. You know. You only know. You are only an “I know!” This is what Satan promise to man as the knowledge of god. Everybody is already in panopticon. Why? Because he has not any alternative way. He is on a rail that starts from and ends to known places. (It is all right! It reduces the risk of contingency. We are not doing anything wrong; let them watch us!) This is the reason that their society remains in primitive stage. Very interesting thing I find as similarity to my story is his useless prate and carp with people who want to eliminate him in the most cruel way. He is using humble education that he has in law as part of his carrier. He is carrying an empty fire arm as the carcass of the law enforcement. He is bubbly and straight forward. He says, “murder is murder even if the victim is consent!” You melancholic head there is no victim but you! The only child among them is you. They are all adults and they all know but you. They are organisms stretched in coordination and their head is sucking your inside from your phallus and fill your empty body with smelly things. He goes to village school in search of his unseen daughter. All the little girls are taught adult materials. They all know him beforehand and are in a mood of sarcasm towards him. He is only a child among them playing the role of a police going to the blackboard trying to explain the situation for the accomplices of his murderers. Children have confined a bird in the shelf to experience how far the bird “can survive inside the shelf.” The teacher of the little girls starts to humiliate the victim of the serpent. She is rude and uses sarcasm out of any context, attributing “Don Quixote” to the man whom never she had met before. Hilarious, they want to kill him and they want to give him insight; to have insight for being murdered.
Carlo DJ
What was very interesting about Mr Malus. He was very average. There were many to fill his room in this world. Somebody with no significance with no special interest to anything (His father would kill him if he resigned from the police force. He still was using "kill" without knowing what was waiting in front of his life). There was nobody out there to worry about him. He had no connection. He had no "I-am-safe" rendezvous with anybody. Whatever he could believe as being a bad point for himself in comparing himself to winners in the society, was the good point about him from the point of view of his predators. He even had to pay for trafficking himself to the island of Mrs Summersisle. He even was suffered by arrangements on his way on the board of ferry taking him there. He even had to bribe and flatter for the airplane carrying him to his appointment with death. He had his only dark suite on, clean and ironed but old fashion with smell of cheap aftershave and mothballs and light petrol. He was polite and assertive full of paranoia of achieving a great goal and making a crap out of the perpetrators. He was “sensitive” to stinging, to the stinging of bees. He had his humble pack of remedy with him, in a stupid belief in modern science. At his first encounter, the people that he believes have no acquaintance beforehand with him start to mock him by a stinging sarcasm. They talk in a way as if they know him already with a known crime against them and should immediately be sorted out for any assertion. They mock him, by scaring him with a fluttering living thing inside a sack similar to big children who scare little children. Everybody has many a sniggering jest towards him. He just wouldn’t notice. He keeps talking in his cheerful manner. They are very hostile. This is Messianic. They are empty of human emotions. They are mechanical flesh of human. The paradise lost is when you become eusocial cast in your function. You are performer of predestined roles, not whimsically in search of next unknown. You know. You only know. You are only an “I know!” This is what Satan promise to man as the knowledge of god. Everybody is already in panopticon. Why? Because he has not any alternative way. He is on a rail that starts from and ends to known places. (It is all right! It reduces the risk of contingency. We are not doing anything wrong; let them watch us!) This is the reason that their society remains in primitive stage. Very interesting thing I find as similarity to my story is his useless prate and carp with people who want to eliminate him in the most cruel way. He is using humble education that he has in law as part of his carrier. He is carrying an empty fire arm as the carcass of the law enforcement. He is bubbly and straight forward. He says, “murder is murder even if the victim is consent!” You melancholic head there is no victim but you! The only child among them is you. They are all adults and they all know but you. They are organisms stretched in coordination and their head is sucking your inside from your phallus and fill your empty body with smelly things. He goes to village school in search of his unseen daughter. All the little girls are taught adult materials. They all know him beforehand and are in a mood of sarcasm towards him. He is only a child among them playing the role of a police going to the blackboard trying to explain the situation for the accomplices of his murderers. Children have confined a bird in the shelf to experience how far the bird “can survive inside the shelf.” The teacher of the little girls starts to humiliate the victim of the serpent. She is rude and uses sarcasm out of any context, attributing “Don Quixote” to the man whom never she had met before. Hilarious, they want to kill him and they want to give him insight; to have insight for being murdered.
Carlo DJ
Another year passed, and nothing changed in my situation. Still, when I try to connect to the outside world, that monstrous diabolic institution comes ahead with its inconsequential "operations." Again, it has come another birthday of my wife and she is all the time welled up ready to cry. But she does not cry. She starts to feel bad. She has no contact with her betraying parents who have sold her and her child to the traffickers who only cares to check and compare their psychiatry model. I said this frequently. In our native place we were under constant harassment of this THING. But we were not institutionalized. There are no such institution at all. People were amazed and were cooperating based on a vague idea that it was for a good cause (actually I believe The Thing mesmerizes shuts down people towards cooperation). There, in my native place, is no place for expenses of state to take you "there" for any reason. This intrigues me to go back and die there in peace rather than falling in hands of the institution as it is destined here for me. My only qualm is that I can be cremated here (which is not allowed there)rather than be interred. They trafficked us here to enjoy being legally institutionalized to pretend that it has been of some justified use that I should be suffered. My wife suffers of loneliness. She watches her face-book and sighs and becomes depressed. All her friends have photos, trips, weddings, family. She is a monkey in a panopticon all the time being watched by metallic machine of Satanist institution. For her birthday, there is no party no candle lit dinner, no gift, no card. I have to paint, like children do, a card, with my earmuffs on my ears, a clown always for her birthday ready to perform, creeping in dark corners of the house making loud noises of things I am doing (being earmuffed I have not feedback I talk loud and bang things around). And that childish card only makes her mad angry. I cannot leave. I have seen it as another blackmail to her decency. I have a humble helping hand for her in some situations, then should I deny that to her, besides the miserable life that my marriage to her has caused her. (It is the way that she sees. I do not believe it. What could be greater than marrying to Messiah, the perfect human). This birthday of hers, she has isolated herself even from her parents. She has got cousins, second cousins, aunts, and uncles and school friends around the world, in Germany, in US, Australia, Canada and France. Thanks to the tools of technology, all are connected now, connected together on a daily basis knowing affairs of each other like living in a village.As it is their native tradition they invite her and they expect to be invited, to see London, to take on red double decker buses, to go to British museum to have dinner around Piccadilly circus, reciprocally. With a hidden monster in the loft, who needs a watcher to go for peeing, she only becomes mad of these invitations. This sanguine, merry, piedmont stout red chick effervescent girl has turned into a woman that for the first time I heard her talking of death, wished it for her. Twenty one years ago that they hunted me, they hinted that it was because I always think to dying. It was not correct. I never thought to death. A mystic has not, deep in his soul, the idea that there is a point that the life will stop by death. A mystic is a continuum from no begin to eternity. If he was here to go he never would appear in the mind of god. Death is accusing god for being jealous in emanating his existence. They said they wanted to cure me such that I do not think to death anymore. One way was to kill me immediately. Instead, they prolonged my death. Now, we have a new one besides me and dossier of my daughter is also open waiting to become active. The symptoms, alleged for my incarceration seven years ago, are strongly at their place.
Carlo DJ
The good thing for Mr. Malus that I envy was his being readiness. He had a small pack with him. A briefcase was all his paraphernalia. I have loads of things, pictures, books, writings, documents that I should carry. I have an important story to tell to future humans. Everyday, I go to panic. As I look my briefcase is not ready. I am scanning my writings, books that I have written, my pictures, the works that I have created. I try to write my arguments, my story. But the job does not finish. Every day I have other things to do before I can start those jobs. If I can finish them. They could come into a couple of double layer DVD's. Then I can multiply them and send them to be kept for future people. I know they have good reasons, legal and legitimate reasons to destroy my heritage. So I should outsmart them somehow. In all hopelessness I could find some customers for my show window on the Internet. I had some software that I had created. By some chance during last months there had been a thousand download of that.Unfortuanately, before I recognize the bugs, half of the customers got the buggy version. Perhaps they would curse me. Now I have it better than a commercial one. For the first time in years, I had the feeling that I was on a job. I had to sit until after midnight and woke up half four in the morning. I can develop it to a package similar to a commercial one but free, because I am bound to open development that prevents me asking money. But I can put a donation for voluntary payment to put some money for a decent funeral for me. As happened to Moh ammad, he could only outsmart "The Thing" in one occasion. Then he took it all the way. You see, The Internet is that small town of Nazareth with the same people. If they pass by you, see you are preaching yourself as Messiah they stop and listen. Roman patrols are around scattering people in the same way. They have tools to throttle passages to your sites or block it or harass you. When I talk on the Internet they come and give harassing comments, similar to thugs and goons who make noise to prevent correct people to talk. After this download story, there are signs that they are planning harassing me. My operating system started to pop up for the "key." It is very abnormal. Through the telephone contact with their UK headquarter the activation code was numbers such as 01333. Again very abnormal for random numbers. My everyday ordeal for the modest thing to do is another story. Jesus did not gather people to rebel and capture the capital of Romans to convince them. If the "Thing" and "The Impostor" really become convinced that my efforts are in-effective, then I can outsmart them. I need one or two people to be really convinced and take my message to the future as Jesus did. I do not need armies or aides or retinue or anything. We have heard that all humans are from one man, Adam. We heard that everybody over the earth was drowned but few people believing in Noah. These stories are in this sense. As the voice and its external entities in the outside world say that everybody knows me when I go to any place to talk or to complain. It means that all of them are drowned.
Carlo DJ
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