Thursday, November 03, 2005

New blog

New blog for critical psychiatry - please post your comments.

1,420 comments:

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Peter Jones said...
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Peter Jones said...

This i found interesting. I am sorry. It seems an error has published my last comment three times. The timing shows that it has been a machine error. All appeared happened in less than a minute. I had not noticed but today. I was talking about Mr Malus. His story almost traumatized me. I could not watch it though it was recorded in the box. I had the feeling that I was watching a real thing and I couldn't find it fair to watch the disaster happening to some one else. His last arguments with the island people I have written. During the whole drama all his offensives were limited to a handful curses, a couple of punches and one kick to people who murdered him for a good reason unknown to him. He said, "It [murdering me] has no use for you!" Lady said, "But I KNOW it does1" Malus, "And you are doing it for nothing. I am not one of you. I do not believe in your gods." Lady, "Make the drone ready!" (they break his legs one after another, all chanting, "The drone must die!" one of them goes almost into orgasm). Believe me that I have seen such a scene in my own story, word by word, setting by setting.
These two lonely women that i took with me to the Summersisle are becoming more lonely. I am in this misery still I am giving some picture of support to them. But I am feeling ill. My briefcase is not ready. My symptoms have not been reduced to be able to hug my daughter or talk for more than a couple of sentences with her. I do not know how to give her some information regarding continuation of my misery that might be arranged to be done on her. I visited site of a gentleman with HIV living in Canada. Besides codes he also writes about everything he likes. He has arranged that his site become hosted automatically for a long time if he goes. Well, he has freedom to go to doctors and he is not any harassment and after many years that he has given that signal of deterioration still he is writing. What about me? My daughter has to leave dorms as she is now sophomore. These women have to go and buy some furniture, carry them to leased room, assemble them erect them, clean and wash the place all alone and I should sit here and scratch my scrotum checking what is the latest news about space station.
Carlo DJ

Peter Jones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peter Jones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peter Jones said...

There is an error publishing each comment three times.

Peter Jones said...

I had to delete six posts since each had appeared three times. I believe, the voice in spite of the patron that IT has got, a second voice that talks in a type of a human way, is fading away but for a residual. One thing helped me much was cases of diverse people who hear the voice. The voice asserts that it is due to some bad things in me that I started to hear the voice, for example because I am not bright and knowledgeable. Then I have immediately "John Nash" for it. He says I was not well-familiar with chivalry. Then I have Howard Hughes for it. The last blow to IT was when I discovered a twin mobster bosses in London East-end during sixties one schizophrenic and one a sane criminal. I flip-flopped days after days with these two characters until the voice could not remember which one was which one was evidence for me. These two was so helpful for me that they deserve an independent chapter. I reasoned, it is not due to what I have been and what I have done, but it is due to those things that have been done on me. I started to hear the voice when I was forty-seven and the voice is a complete replica of what they have been doing to me in the society. (You see I am a wealth of knowledge for other sufferers from such a phenomena, but I am not in proper age and position to propagate that knowledge.) If someone in future makes an independent research connecting my case to the Satanic ritual of human sacrifice then he appreciate a unified understanding of everything about human without necessarily look at it from my Messiah interpretation.
Carlo DJ

Peter Jones said...

The voice in its daily chores starts from indecent remarks. If IT can overpower me then it continues that line. If it cannot then becomes a moralist blames me for my wrong doings. If it can overpower me then goes back to its indecent curses. But if it can't overpower me by blaming me for immorality then IT becomes a health and hygiene agent created to help me towards mental health therapy. IT usually cannot stay on this line and goes back again to giving dirty remarks. What happens next? I am not in satisfactory health. I reached to this point at my age of almost sixty. If I can keep up living for another decade then I do the same thing with the society and the institution that committed such a catastrophic atrocity to my family and to me. I believe that mind reader similarly is living in the society. It is the horrifying voice in the society and leads the society. Hence, I believe that the society has become schizoid in the same way and that THING should be cleaned from the human society in the same way that an individual does not like to hear that indecent remarks in his head. As Summerset Maugham Says, “I do not believe that I am a vindictive man, but when fate takes a hand in the matter it is pardonable to observe the result with satisfaction.”
Carlo DJ

Peter Jones said...

I was not clear. I have the voice behind me now. Only a residue has remained. It is crying frequently now. If I want to eat wine or sometimes 1 mg of diazepam for my neck, it starts to cry asking me not to since those things might fade 'him' completely. And I become affectionate. Actually, I feel very bad, as if it is a human dying. It says that it has human rights similar to any human, because it thinks and generates some type of thinking similar to an independent individual. He says that it is the human soul created in the foetus accompanying man and has slid into the human mind after separation from the womb. At this moment, right now that I am writing, it is silent as if listening what am I describing about him here. It tries to suffer me and when it becomes defeated, it asks me to report his situation here perhaps people related to this website, here can help him in the way that I have believed. I say to him this is not kind of psychiatry that normally helps to those kinds of creatures in the industrialized world. I said that there is another type of voice 'there' that the first voice calls it as his patron and creator. That voice is very saturnine and cruel and occasionally becomes generated as if it tries to prove that it is the voice of an external remote human and tries to overpower me, and tries to confederate with the first voice. Anyway, both are dwindling now. The second cruel voice uses a context of psychiatry. I believe it is the one that was existing before Spring of 1998, and used to say "everybody" when I was thinking to find somebody for help. Each day is a chapter of a book. When I am thinking that why did they do this catastrophe to my family and to me though I had passed safely that type of childhood, and I remained so functional, why they buried me alive and why they cruelly killed me in front of my wife and my child that voice says, "bicycle!" Hints me that because I have been bipolar and bipolar people have certain functionalities not shared by other types of psychoses. It happened that I became familiar with Belgian actor and martial artist, I do not name here. I understood that he is a bipolar with suicide tendency. I said, why they did not go to him and I answered because he breaks the necks of the perpetrators and his friends and his fans and family and people take placards into the parliament and groups would be created for his defence. He is not from streets of a third world city where whose people are full of delusions about the menaces and real intentions of developed world. That voice after my acquaintance with the Belgian actor never has used that "bicycle" anymore. So I freely ask me "Why, why" and I weep in my heart and refuge to regression. I go back and build a golden world again and again. Carlo DJ

Peter Jones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peter Jones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peter Jones said...

I was not clear. I have the voice behind me now. Only a residue has remained. It is crying frequently now. If I want to eat wine or sometimes 1 mg of diazepam for my neck, it starts to cry asking me not to since those things might fade 'him' completely. And I become affectionate. Actually, I feel very bad, as if it is a human dying. It says that it has human rights similar to any human, because it thinks and generates some type of thinking similar to an independent individual. He says that it is the human soul created in the foetus accompanying man and has slid into the human mind after separation from the womb. At this moment, right now that I am writing, it is silent as if listening what am I describing about him here. It tries to suffer me and when it becomes defeated, it asks me to report his situation here perhaps people related to this website, here can help him in the way that I have believed. I say to him this is not kind of psychiatry that normally helps to those kinds of creatures in the industrialized world. I said that there is another type of voice 'there' that the first voice calls it as his patron and creator. That voice is very saturnine and cruel and occasionally becomes generated as if it tries to prove that it is the voice of an external remote human and tries to overpower me, and tries to confederate with the first voice. Anyway, both are dwindling now. The second cruel voice uses a context of psychiatry. I believe it is the one that was existing before Spring of 1998, and used to say "everybody" when I was thinking to find somebody for help. Each day is a chapter of a book. When I am thinking that why did they do this catastrophe to my family and to me though I had passed safely that type of childhood, and I remained so functional, why they buried me alive and why they cruelly killed me in front of my wife and my child that voice says, "bicycle!" Hints me that because I have been bipolar and bipolar people have certain functionalities not shared by other types of psychoses. It happened that I became familiar with Belgian actor and martial artist, I do not name here. I understood that he is a bipolar with suicide tendency. I said, why they did not go to him and I answered because he breaks the necks of the perpetrators and his friends and his fans and family and people take placards into the parliament and groups would be created for his defence. He is not from streets of a third world city where whose people are full of delusions about the menaces and real intentions of developed world. That voice after my acquaintance with the Belgian actor never has used that "bicycle" anymore. So I freely ask me "Why, why" and I weep in my heart and refuge to regression. I go back and build a golden world again and again. Carlo DJ

Peter Jones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peter Jones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peter Jones said...

It seems now when I publish a comment it posts six copies of that. I believe it cannot load long posts. I try to be shorter and divide each post.
Carlo DJ

Peter Jones said...

I am in a very bad health. I am dizzy all the time and sometimes near to whirl and fall. Still I do exercise without knowing if it is good or bad for me. I am eating absolutely nothing to help my situation lest I have a high blood pressure or high cholesterol. Few portions of bran flakes, with semi-milk a pottage of vegetables I can find at home with no salt, or meat or oil in it. a couple of bread slice and one tea all day. My wife and my daughter have gone to Cote d’Azur to fulfil the wish of Yanis attributed to me. She could not measure my blood pressure. I said it only gives feedback and I cannot do anything about it. I cannot go to doctors without being sadistically harassed. In my native place I could go to doctors even if they would be instructed to ignore my dignity. They have not such an idea in mind of the word “institutionalised.” Even if I go to doctors here they would not tell me the correct information. They say it is 133 mmhg, the cholesterol is 6.6. So I already know the results.
Carlo DJ

Peter Jones said...

Although I am doing prayer all the time I feel almost the end. I was trafficked into the total access of traditional coercing psychiatry here without anything improves in my life. If it had been improved they should reduce it or stopped it. They, in contrary asked me to stop. As if a doctor tells his patient through friends and neighbours that he should stop being diabetic. I believe they trafficked me to the worst possible location in the world. They will justify it that they left me free and it was my own choices that hurt me. I say not only Jesus Christ but also recruit of an army choices would hurt them. It is not the sign of anything bad. Sometimes when I am thinking about writing my complaints here regarding my disastrous life that second “patronising” voice says “Choices.” I use the sentence I can remember from some part of my younger ages: “Hence, let the swords surround me!”
Carlo DJ

Peter Jones said...
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Peter Jones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peter Jones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

This space seems cannot load comments anymore. I try to find some other way. With many thanks to their readers.
Carlo DJ

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